


Circle's End - The Original

by azxrae



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Jearmin - Freeform, M/M, They're young adults so there's a ton of profanity and junk like that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-12
Updated: 2017-02-23
Packaged: 2018-02-06 14:30:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 66,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1861389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/azxrae/pseuds/azxrae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Jearmin college AU in which Armin’s a welfare kid with a sordid past. Scholarships, coupled with a pristine GPA and unparalleled SAT scores, grant him entry into one of the country’s most esteemed universities: Trost State. Meanwhile Jean’s a privileged prep-school graduate living in the lofty upper-middle-class, completely ignorant of what life is like without a credit card. His acceptance into Trost isn't surprising.</p><p>By the begrudging grace of Eren Jaeger, these two end up as roommates. [ DISCONTINUED. BEING RE-WRITTEN. ]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Circle's End takes place in a //fictional// world. Trost (where they all live and go to school) is a California-type setting, with public transportation, a ton of recreation and accessible beaches. Keep that in mind when you read it!

> _Thursday, July 10_ _ th _ _, 1:22pm_

“You know, Armin…” Eren sat the suitcase he was holding by his feet and turned towards the door. “There’s still time for you to change your mind and just move in with me.”

Armin had to stifle his laughter. Of course Eren would say something like this now, when he was pretty much finished settling into his new place. It  _was_  kind of cute how clingy he was to him. But Armin knew living on his own - well not really on his own, but still - would be a good experience.

 “Forgive me.” He said, slipping his hand into his pocket retrieve his key. Just grasping the metal in his hand felt surreal. “We can still see each other at school,  _and_ work.”

Eren grumbled, but it was the truth. When Armin moved from Shiganshina Eren had been in dire need of a job, so his friend found work for him waiting tables at Olive Garden, a job Armin had for several months before he moved to Trost and was relocated.

Armin fitted the key into the lock and twisted. He had to admit he was anxious; on the other side of the door was an impressive three-bedroom spread - one of the nicer ones in the student-housing district - complete with a living room, open kitchen and one spacious bathroom. He’d seen the apartment countless times over the week when he and Eren were moving his stuff in, but now he was coming to live.  _Permanently_. Armin could hardly contain the excitement boiling in his heart.

 How had he been able to afford such a luxurious feat? Along with the student discount, it just so happened one of the two guys he was rooming with was some heir to the fortune of a bustling ski lodge up in the mountains.  _Jean Kirschtein._  He and Connie Springer - his other roommate - went to high school with Eren. There was an obvious air of animosity between Eren and Jean though; hence the reason his brunet friend had so _adamantly_ tried to deter Armin from accepting the offer to room with them.

The blonde found himself smiling as he recalled the event. It was about a week or so ago; he and Eren were on the subway mezzanine waiting for the train and Jean spotted them and approached.

* * *

_“Yo, that your new squeeze, Jaeger?”_

  _Armin blinked, glancing up from his Kindle to see who’d called out. He met the gaze of two hazel brown eyes – that belonged to a rather attractive boy, if he should say so himself – staring at he and Eren as he advanced towards them. The mystery boy had a grin wiped over his lips, one that seemed to rouse irritation in Eren because he shot up from the bench as soon as he noticed his presence._

 _T_ _he mystery boy stood a few inches taller than Eren; Armin noted when they came to stand face to face. He had dusty brown hair and a long face that one might compare to a horse if they were fishing for insults. But Armin thought he was handsome._ Really handsome. _He pressed the ‘hold’ button on his tablet and stood so he could get a better look. He was clad in a pair of black Adidas shorts and a muscle tee of the same brand. Had he just come from working out? His limbs were muscled, but they certainly didn’t seem to belong to someone who regularly visited the gym. Armin pursed his lips, but before he could further mull over it he felt an arm wrap around his shoulder._

  _“Fuck off, Jean. No.” Eren nearly growled at the other male. “This is Armin. My best friend. Thee one from Shiganshina, you idiot.”_

  _This “Jean” character raised those perfectly-arched eyebrows – one of which had a barbell pierced into it – and smirked. “Oh yeah, I’ve heard you and Mikasa mention him.”_

‘He knows Mikasa?’  _Armin’s eyes widened slightly but he remained silent. His gaze never left Jean. From the looks of it, he was around the same age as him and Eren. Perhaps a year older?_

  _A moment passed before Jean turned, looking directly at Armin. Those hazel eyes gave a gaze so intense the blonde nearly had to take a step back, but he held his ground. He vaguely wondered if he’d noticed him staring._

  _“Hey… sorry for being rude. I’m Jean Kir-” Jean offered his hand but the contact was instantly cut off by Eren hitting the underside of his elbow. Armin frowned when he yelped, watching him retract his arm and examine it for damage, swearing heavily under He was swearing heavily under his breath._

  _“Eren!” The blonde chided, wriggling out from beneath his hold._

  _"You’re better off not knowing him.” Eren shrugged as if he’d done no wrong. “Believe me.”_

  _Armin turned, glaring warningly at the other boy. “I’ll be the one to decide that.” He shifted his eyes back to Jean, who was baring his teeth at Eren._ ‘Why do they dislike each other so much?’  _Several possibilities flooded his mind, but he knew it’d be easier to just ask. He made a mental note to pester Eren about it later._

" _I apologize on Eren’s behalf.” Armin bent his arm and blocked Eren from moving any closer, much to the brunet’s dismay. He tucked his Kindle into hi bag so he could offer his hand to him._

_"I’m Armin Arlert. Nice to meet you.”_

_The grin Jean wore was replaced by a toothy smile as he grasped Armin’s hand. Armin expected a callous feel, but was instead greeted with soft and smooth skin._ ‘Has this guy ever done any work in his life? Well he’s dressed head to toe in Adidas…’ _The blonde snorted to himself. Typical rich kid._

 _"_ _Jean Kirschtein.” He said. There was probably more that followed but Armin couldn’t hear it over the horn and the loud screech, then the gust of wind that indicated the arrival of the train._

  _“You should cut your hair, Ar.” Eren near-shouted, laughing when he noticed the struggle Armin was having keeping the blond locks in place when the wind kicked up._

  _Armin rolled his eyes. “I like the length.” He used the band on his wrist to pull the top half of his hair into a ponytail. “Besides… I think I’d probably look strange with short hair, don’t you?” He sent his friend a small grin and Eren nodded thoughtfully, tugging him onto the train when the doors opened._

  _Jean smirked and boarded behind them, which in turn evoked a groan from Eren._

  _"You following us, Horse Face?”_

 _Armin bit back a giggle._ ‘Horse face...’

  _“Oh please.” Jean parked himself in an empty seat and propped his legs up. “I’m meeting Connie and Sasha for a movie. We’re going to see How to Train Your Dragon~” The last part of his sentence held a playful undertone. Eren snarled._

_“Screw off.”_

_Armin blinked, confused. “What?”_

_"_ _Eren was Hiccup for Halloween last year.” Jean announced with a wide smirk. He was clearly pleased with himself for sharing such an_ embarrassing _piece of information. Armin could only guess how long he’d been waiting to use it against him._

_“And you’re a fuckin’ creep for remembering.” Eren scoffed and sat down next to Armin, his arm resting on the handlebar to block any contact between them._

_Armin noticed that the tops of Eren’s ears began to redden and he reached up to lightly tug his cheek, giggling._

_“That’s cute though! I’d kill to see it.”_

" _I’m pretty sure it’s on Instagram somewhere.” The smirk on Jean’s lips only seemed to broaden. “I’ll give you mine.”_

_That was when Eren spoke up. He placed a hand on the blonde’s shoulder and narrowed his eyes. “Armin doesn’t have an Instagram.”_

_“Well he should make one.” Jean shrugged, then returned his attention to the boy in question. “You staying in Trost permanently, Armin?”_

_“Yes.” Armin replied quickly, and for some reason he was glad he’d asked. “Eren and I are starting at Trost U in the fall.”_

_Jean blinked. He looked stunned, but Armin definitely detected a glint of something else in his eyes. Excitement? Perhaps. He smiled to himself at the thought._

_“I’ll be seeing you on campus then.”_

_Eren groaned again, but he’d long-since occupied himself with messing around on his phone._

_“What’s your major?” Armin asked, feeling surprisingly earnest._

_“Art. Yours?”_

  _“Astrophysics.”_

  _Jean whistled and lowered his legs, scooting closer. “Astro—? So… you wanna be an astronaut?”_

_“Um, no…” Armin shook his head, the corners of his mouth rising into a small grin. “I’d really like to just study the cosmos and write books about it.”_

_The taller boy was clearly awestruck by his words. “Cosmos?”_

_“It’s the universe, Dingus.” Came an offhanded comment from Eren, whose face was still fixed on his phone._

_“Eren, not everyone knows that.” Armin sighed._

_“Yeah, E_ ren _.” Jean repeated, punctuating the second syllable of his name just to annoy him. ”No need to be a condescending ass.” He shifted his gaze to Armin and his expression softened a bit. “Are you living with him right now, Armin? I’m genuinely sorry.”_

_Armin covered his mouth and laughed again, mildly amused. “Only temporarily. I’m looking for a place to rent in the student-housing district.”_

_“Are you?” Jean leaned forward in interest. “What a coincidence, because—“_

_“No.” Eren’s head shot up. “Don’t even.” He sent Jean a crystic glare, just as Armin’s head tilted in confusion._

_“….What?” The blonde looked between them._

_Jean cleared his throat. “My friend Connie and I have been searching for a roommate.” His eyes were on Eren’s face as he spoke, “We’ve got a pretty nice place. The rent’s cheap as fuck ‘cause it’s near the campus.”_

_Armin could feel Eren’s hand on his arm, as well as the low growl he emitted, but he couldn’t help but consider it. It was an amazing offer, after all; he was sure Eren could accept that if he’d just put his own feelings aside._

_“That sounds…”_

_“Awful.” Eren crossed his arms, looking at Armin with pleading eyes. “You’re not really considering it, are you?”_

_Armin groaned, but he wouldn’t deny he looked kind of adorable pouting at him like that. “Eren,” He placed a palm on his shoulder, “This is exactly what I’ve been looking for, and you know it.”_

_“But he’s a douche.” Eren grunted and rolled his eyes._

_“You wanna say that a little louder, Jaeger?” Jean’s fingers dug into his seat._

_“Hey, settle down, you two.” Armin held up his hand, then glanced at the taller boy and smiled a bit. “Is it alright if we exchange numbers? I’d like to discuss this later.”_

_“Armin, I’m telling you,” Eren watched, mortified, as both males dug into their pockets and brought out their phones. “He’s a bastard. Not the most ideal roommate...”_

_“Well he’s stomached living with you, right?” Jean snorted. He unlocked his white Galaxy, then flicked his eyes back to Armin. “Give me your number and I’ll text you.”_

_Armin nodded and heeded the order, and afterwards the conductor’s voice crackled over the intercom, calling out the next station._

_“Our next stop will be UOT Square. Doors opening on the left side.”_

_“That’s me.” Pocketing his phone, Jean rose and gripped the metal pole in the center of the aisle. He looked down at Eren. “So you’re bringing him to karaoke night, right?”_

  _Armin’s attention piqued when his phone lit up with what he assumed was a new text. He tilted his neck to look at Jean, then Eren. “…Karaoke night?”_

  _“Yeah. Next Saturday. Our friends rented out a room at this sick karaoke bar downtown.” Jean began tapping his fingernails on the pole, grinning. “You should come, since you’re gonna be going to uni with us. A friend of Eren and Mikasa’s is definitely a friend of ours.”_

  _A sense of warmth settled in Armin’s chest at his words._ Friends. _He’d never really had many of those. Only Eren and Mikasa, and when they moved away Armin was more or less alone. Sure he had his school peers, but he wouldn’t consider them_ actual friends _. When it came down to it Armin found that he spent a great deal of those years on his own. He never complained though. He always had his books, and his grandpa, and that had been enough to sustain him._

_Until now, at least._

_“I’ll bring him.” Eren’s voice brought Armin back and he looked up. “Armin has an_ amazing _singing voice.” Eren shot his friend a small smile, and, feeling bashful, Armin blushed._

_"Pfft, don’t exaggerate.”_

  _Jean chuckled and tightened his grip on the pole when the train stopped. “So I guess I’ll be seeing you guys on Saturday then?” He tipped his head to the side, looking at both boys expectantly._

  _Armin smiled. “Perhaps sooner if we can get this rooming situation ironed out.” Of course, he secretly hoped they would._

_“That is, unless he finds someone better suited.” Eren sneered, his eyes growing squint once more. “Which I’m sure he will.”_

  _“Don’t be so certain, Jaeger.” Jean reached down to lightly smack the side of his head. Eren moved to retaliate but Jean was already prancing towards the train’s exit, a smug look on his face._

_"Nice meeting you, Armin.” He shot the blonde a small smile. “See y’all around.”_

_Eren waved his hand dismissively, and Armin returned the smile with an even brighter one. “Bye Jean!”_

_Jean waved and back-walked out of the train, only to stumble over a dip in the mezzanine’s flooring. Eren and Armin both burst into fits of laughter._

_“Dingus.” The brunet snorted through his gasps, head shaking. Armin ran a hand over his neck and looked back from the window, only to see Eren staring at him with a knowing look in his eyes._

_“…What?”_

_“I_ saw _that, Armin.”_

_“S-Saw what?” Armin’s eyes grew wide._

_Eren reached behind him and held his nape, drawing him in so their foreheads were nearly touching. “You were giving that bastard googly eyes the entire time.”_

_“W-What?!” Armin practically squeaked and jerked backward, almost smacking his head on the window. “I was not!”_

_“You_ were _.” Eren’s eyes narrowed in suspicion.“You like him? Is that why you want to room with him?”_

 _“_ Pardon _?” Armin pushed his bangs out of his eyes, staring at his friend in disbelief. “No, I don’t like him. I just met him like fifteen minutes ago!”_

_That God-forsaken look still remained on Eren’s face, though. “Do you think he’s…. cute?” The brunet raised an eyebrow._

_Armin paused for a moment then his eyes went downcast. He began fiddling with his fingers, muttering quietly, “…Perhaps a little.”_

_“Pfft. How the hell…” Eren’s hand was grasping the handlebar again. “How the hell can anyone find_ Jean Kirschtein _cute?”_

_Armin pursed his lips and bent one of his legs to rest his foot on the seat. “I think he’s nice. Well from what I’ve seen.”_

_"Meh.”_

_“Why do you hate him so much?”_

_Eren looked to Armin and shrugged. “I don’t_ hate him _. I’ve known him since I moved here and he’s in my circle of friends. Guess our personalities just clash sometimes.” He tilted his head to the side. “Most of its just playful bantering. It’s what we’re used to.”_

_Armin nodded slowly. The train moved along and they sat in silence. The blonde’s head leaned on Eren’s broader shoulder and his lids lowered._

_“But ah, you_ do _become his roommate…” Eren’s voice was barely audible now, and Armin had to lift his head to hear him properly._

_“Hm?”_

_“You won’t start to like that bastard more than me, will you?”_

_The question certainly caught Armin by surprise. He raised his eyebrow, suddenly feeling inclined to hit Eren upside his head for asking something so_ utterly stupid _._

_“You’re seriously asking that?” He shook his head, leaning up to poke Eren in his cheek. “Don’t be ridiculous, you dummy.” Armin smiled. “You should know by now you’re the only guy for me.” His tone was playful, but the words were deathly serious. They both knew that._

_“Good.” Eren sat back in his seat with a sated look on his face. “Let’s hope it stays that way.”_

* * *

Armin’s smile remained intact when he pushed the front door open. He grasped his bag of pillows and entered the apartment, eyes instantly drawn to the far-side of the den, where Jean stood at his easel. His back faced them and he was singing rather loudly to the Pearl Jam song blaring from the kitchen.

“Yo Horse Face, stop being a toolbox for a second, will you?” Eren rolled his eyes and walked in front of Armin, tossing the suitcase at the couch. The noise made Jean jump and spin around, nearly dropping his pallet in the process. He narrowed his eyes.

“Mother fuck— you’re early.” Sitting his pallet and brush onto the stool, he wiped his hands on his jeans and walked over to them. “I certainly wasn’t expecting you to bring _him_ , Armin.”

“I needed an extra hand. Couldn’t lug all this stuff over here by myself.” Armin smiled and surveyed the perimeter of the room, setting the pillows down in front of him. “You’re… here alone?”

“Yeah.” Jean looked down at his pillows, then back at Armin’s face. “Connie went grocery shopping.”

“ _Connie_  went grocery shopping?” Eren repeated with a laugh, leaning on the arm of the couch.

 

“By that I mean he went to go get more cup noodles.”

 

“Of course.”

 

The guy in question, Connie Springer, was his other roommate and also Jean’s best friend. Armin always thought  _he_  was short for his age – being the smallest in his graduating class and practically dwarfed next to Mikasa and Eren – but when he met Connie he was stunned. He could see why he was close to Jean though; they were both _ridiculously_ dorky, but in the most endearing way. That and he was really nice. Something told him he was the one that kept Jean in check more often than not.

The blonde ran a hand through his hair and joined Eren on the couch. He nudged him with his thigh. “Don’t you have somewhere to be?”

“Are you kicking me out? I’m hurt.” Eren feigned a sob, his legs kicking up on the coffee table.

Jean scowled at him. “This isn’t your house, Jaeger.”

“It’s not yours either, _Kirschstein_.” Eren said matter-of-factly, a small chuckle following. “It’s the landlord’s.”

“Aunty Karla said she wanted you back before three.” Armin said, the softness leaving his tone as he looked at his friend sternly. “You _do_ remember that, right?”

“Mommy setting a curfew for you now?” Jean smirked. He walked back to his easel and picked up his pallet, checking to see if any paints had dried out.

“Fuck off.” Eren hissed, “There are relatives over and she wants me there.”

Armin hoisted him by the arm and they both stood. “Go home, Eren.” He walked behind him, lightly pushing him towards the door. “I’m fine and I don’t want your mom flipping out at you.”

Eren sighed and turned back around, looking down at him. “Fine, I’ll leave. But if Jean does anything shady call me. I’ll be over like _that_.” He snapped his fingers on the last word, emphasizing just how serious he was.

“Everything will be fine. I promise.” Armin smiled reassuringly at his friend and patted his arm. His eyelids fell when Eren began messing his hair, then he very lightly kissed his temple.

The blonde’s eyes were still closed as he spoke. “I’ll see you at work tomorrow, okay?”

“Sure thing, Ar.” Eren poked the tip of his nose, not bothering to say anything to Jean as he left the apartment. Once he was gone, Jean let out a loud, dramatic sigh and returned his attention to his easel.

“Good fuckin’ riddance.”

Armin just smiled at that. He knew Jean and Eren thought fondly of each other, despite the constant verbal abuse. That much was made clear when the blonde looked at the bulletin board of polaroids that was posted above the TV. At the center was a photo of Jean, Connie and Eren that he presumed was taken at their high school graduation. Eren was in the middle and Jean and Connie both had their arms draped over his shoulders. All three of them had wide smiles painted over their lips. Armin thought it was _adorable_ , but it did make him kind of sad. He’d graduated early so he never got to experience anything like that; all he’d gotten was his diploma in the mail and a congratulatory letter from the principal.

Armin’s head turned when the door opened again. His smile grew at the sight of Connie tumbling into the apartment, two large pizza boxes balanced on his arm.

“Oh, hey Armin!” He greeted, kicking the door closed. “Wasn’t expecting you until later, but it’s always a pleasure.”

Armin rubbed the side of his arm. “I needed Eren’s help bringing the last of my stuff over and he had somewhere to be so…”

Jean practically _galloped_ over when he noticed the pizza. He grinned, examining the boxes closely. ”Dude, what happened to you getting ramen?”

“You’re complaining? Boli’s was having a special.” Connie shrugged and waltzed into the open kitchen, placing the pizza boxes on the counter. “Thing is, I hope it’ll be enough for all three off us.”

Armin’s brows furrowed, a bit dumbfounded by the comment. “You’re not serious, are you?” Two large pizzas could last an _entire week_ between him and his grandfather. But, then again, more than once Armin had been called out for eating like a bird…

“It’ll be fine.” Jean joined him, long fingers tapping the countertop to the beat of the song that blasted from his iPod speakers. He popped one of the boxes open and was delighted to see that it was topped with peperoni, sausage and green peppers. “There are eight slices on each pizza, so... that’s five for each of us, with some left over and—”

Armin raised his hand to speak. “I’m probably – no,  _I’m sure_  I’m not going to eat a lot. So you guys can have as much as you want.”

“ _Really_?” Connie and Jean both asked. Their astonishment was clear.

“Yep.” Armin nodded with a small grin. Eren was definitely worrying too much; he knew he’d be fine staying with these two, no problem.

 

That is, if you discounted the fact that Jean was – by far – the hottest guy he’d seen in person. It was a bit unsettling, but repression was one of Armin’s greatest talents. He was sure he could keep himself together. He had to, after all. No way was someone as _filthy_ as him worthy of Jean.

 

Everything would be fine, so long as he didn’t get too close to him.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cute and awkward babies incoming. Eeeee. Thank you tumblr-user bravearmin for suggesting headcanons. I used them both here. C: Also gonna just pretend like I didn’t name the first chapter because I’m not good at thinking of chapter names so yea. ENJOY AND LEAVE FEEDBACK.

 

 

 

 

> _Thursday, July 10 th, 11:02pm_

**[ INCOMING CALL: Shithead Jaeger ]**

_‘God, what does he want?’_

Jean stared at his phone, watching it light up and vibrate along the coffee table. He supposed he should answer it; he didn’t want the noise to wake the blond boy that was passed out a cushion over, but God, he really didn’t want to hear Eren nagging him about “where the fuck is Armin” either.

_‘I wonder how many times he’ll call if I don’t answer..’_

That wasn’t a gamble Jean was all that willing to take, but still. He stared at the lock screen of his phone for three, long seconds before finally reaching forward and grabbing it. He’d just text Eren instead.

 **[ SMS to: Shithead Jaeger ]**   if you’re gna pester me about Armin he’s sound asleep so get off it.

 **[ SMS from: Shithead Jaeger ]**   why the fuck hasn’t he been answering my calls? I’ve been calling him since six. Wtf did u do?

Jean was amazed – but also a little unsettled - by how quickly Eren replied. He snorted and gave a quick glance to the boy on the opposite end of the couch. Armin was indeed sleeping soundly, as he had been for several hours now. He was curled up under a blanket with his cheek on the armrest and heck – Jean had to admit he looked cute.  He’d contemplated just taking him to his bedroom but he didn’t want to risk waking him.

 **[ SMS to: Shithead Jaeger ]**   srsly Eren. We were just chilling and Armin fell asleep. He must’ve been hella fuckin tired bc he’s been asleep for a while now.  

A smirk etched onto his lips as he opened up his camera and shifted a little. He snapped a quick picture of himself, smirking widely with Armin asleep in the background.  

_‘Eren’s going to flip out.’_

Ah yes, Jean would certainly enjoy the little shit’s reaction. He settled back into a more comfortable position and examined the picture for a moment, and once satisfied he sent it to Eren with the caption “Armin’s really cute, aint he?”

It only took fifteen seconds for Eren to respond, as Jean expected.

 **[ SMS from: Shithead Jaeger ]** fuck you horseshit.

Jean had to slap his hand over his mouth to keep from bellowing out a laugh.

 **[ SMS to: Shithead Jaeger ]** gnight, ily. ♡

He waited a moment to see if Eren would respond, and when he didn’t Jean smirked in triumph. He reached into the pocket of his shorts and grabbed his ear buds. He could probably get a sketch in before his better judgment would make him take Armin to bed. That position wouldn’t be good for his neck and he wasn't up for making a run to Bed, Bath and Beyond for a heating pad.

He plugged his ear buds into his phone and opened up the music app, closing his eyes for a moment as he pressed shuffle. He heard the familiar tune of a piano start and he smiled, mouthing the lyrics of “All of Me” by John Legend. Jean grabbed his sketchbook, a pencil and his kneaded eraser from the shelf beneath the coffee table and sat back, flipping to a clean page. _‘Hm.. what to draw..’_ Golden eyes glanced about his surroundings before finally settling back on Armin. The image was rather enticing to draw, yes, but it’d be kind of weird..

His hand began to move on its own accord though. He found himself sketching out the contours of Armin’s face at that adorable angle, the tip of his pencil dancing as he recreated the curve in his nose. _God_ , what a nice nose Armin had. It was turned up slightly at the end, which somehow made him resemble a pixie in Jean’s mind. _Fucking cute._

He hummed along to the music as he got down the general outline of his face and upper body, then scooted slightly closer as he began to add detail. Jean was having a lot more fun than he thought he would. But he wouldn’t show this to Armin, of course. He wouldn’t show it to anyone. How creepy would it sound if he tried to explain his reasoning? _Oh hi, Armin. Did you rest well? Come check out the drawing I did of you while you were asleep._

No.

By the time the song had ended and another began, Jean had finished. He sat his pencil and eraser down and admired the work. It wasn’t perfect, but it was pretty damned good, if he should say so himself.

A few more songs passed. At the start of “Elephants” by Them Crooked Vultures the brunet heard a muffled sound, and only when he looked up did he realize Armin was beginning to stir awake. He pushed his tongue into his inner cheek as he watched him rub at his eyes and slowly move into a sitting position. His lips mouthed something as sleepy blue hues fell on him.

“Huh?” Jean pulled the ear buds out. “Oh, you’re awake.”

Armin was blinking the remnants of sleep away as he surveyed the perimeter of the den. “Yeah… hi, Jean.” He smiled softly and hugged the cover closer around his neck. His cheeks were pink. ..Why was he blushing?

“Hey.” Jean let out an awkward chuckle and quickly flipped his sketchbook closed. No way was he letting Armin catch even the slightest glimpse of what he’d drawn.

“I’m on the couch…” Armin was speaking slowly, carefully. It sounded more like a question than anything else. Jean tilted his head and wondered if Armin had even remembered the events of earlier that day. “Yeah. We were all sitting around and you legit had two slices of pizza and a sip of beer and you just...” He laughed a little. “Passed out.”

Armin laughed as well, the sound airy and light. Even though his situation was awkward as hell he found a way to be fucking adorable. _‘Damn this little blond kid.’_

“I sort of remember that.” He nodded thoughtfully. “That was the first time I’d ever had any kind of alcoholic beverage besides wine.” He burrowed a little beneath the blanket. “..Where’s Connie?”

At the mention of Connie, Jean smiled slightly. “Oh, he went out with his girlfriend. They offered to bring me along but… didn’t want to leave you here to wake up to an empty apartment.” Jean cleared his throat.

 “How thoughtful.” Armin grinned, and if those words had come from anyone else Jean would have thought they were being sarcastic. But not Armin.

“But Jean…” The golden-haired boy shifted his gaze to the clock on the TV box. “It’s late. I feel kind of guilty about you staying up so if you want to go—”

“No!” Jean’s shout was a little louder than intended. Armin looked startled. He cleared his throat again and quickly composed himself. “I mean...no I’m not tired.  I was just doing some sketches to kill time. I’m good.” _‘Fuck, why say that? Now he’s gonna wonder...’_

“Sketches? Of what?”

_‘Damn it.’_

“Oh, random stuff.” Jean swallowed thickly and searched his mind for something to tell him. “…Some characters from a comic I’ve been working on.”

“Oh?” Armin threw the blanket off of his body and eyed Jean with interest. “That’s actually really cool! I can’t draw crap. Only write.” He moved to sit cross legged with his back pressed to the arm of the couch so he faced the other male.  “Can I see them?” He smiled brightly.

Jean just stared at Armin for a moment. How was he expected to say no to him? _Was there even a way to say no to him?_ “…Maybe later, when they’re finished...” He ran his hand over the back of his neck. “And I’m feeling more confident.”

Armin scrunched his nose and leaned forward, his fingers reaching to touch to Jean’s bicep in a reassuring manner. Jean had to bite his lip to keep his cool. How the fuck did something so platonic and simple done by someone he only just met have this effect on him? _‘It’s probably because he’s fucking cute...’_

“Don’t be silly. I saw that painting you were working on earlier.” Armin jerked his head towards the other side of the room, where Jean’s easel was posted against the wall. “You’re really good! But if you don’t want to show me it’s totally okay.” He sat back then and rested his elbows on the thighs of his jeans, his smile not faltering in the slightest. “I’m that way about my writing, honestly.”

The brunet let out a breath he hadn’t realizedd he’d been holding. He found himself running his hand over his neck yet again – a nervous habit of his – and he returned the smile. “Thank you, Armin.” Jean briefly looked down into his lap before deciding it’d be best to move his supplies to his bedroom. He collected his sketchbook and writing utensils and stood. “I’m gonna take this stuff to my room and then… do you wanna do something? Considering we’re both awake, I mean.”

“Yeah, sure.” Armin nodded and shifted into a more comfortable position on the leather couch, his legs stretching out over the cushions.

Jean gave him one last smile before slipping out of the living room and into the hallway, but he came to an immediate halt when he passed the bathroom.

‘ _…I need to dispose of that sketch...’_

Jean peered over his shoulder to ensure he wasn’t being watched and flipped the sketchbook open to the picture he’d just drawn. He inhaled sharply as he ripped it from the binding, folding it in half and tearing it a few times. He tossed the scraps into the bathroom trash bin and suddenly felt a hell of a lot lighter.

The brunet ran his palm over his face as he strolled into his bedroom, flipping the light switch by his door. He was just about to tuck his sketchbook into his desk drawer when a loud yelp echoed out from the den.

_“Holy crap!”_

Jean's eyes widened, his supplies tossed hap hazardously onto his mattress a he dashed from his room. When he entered the den he expected to see that something the matter but was instead greeted by Armin, beaming like a ray of sunshine as he stood behind the couch with a rectangular box in his hands.

 “Armin, what?”

“Sorry, I just... I found this under the couch.” Armin was grinning from ear to ear as he turned the front of the box in his direction. Jean realized he was holding his Monopoly game. “I got excited. I haven’t played Monopoly in _forever_.” He leaned on the couch and shook the box a little, as if to make sure all the contents were inside.

“Is that your way of saying you want to play?” Jean chuckled and took a few steps towards the smaller boy. “Hell, Armin, you scared me.”

“I said I was sorry.” He reached over and sat the box on the couch, rubbing his nape sheepishly. “So can we play? If so, I think I should be the banker because I know how much money to distribute and how you’re supposed to do it.” He nodded to himself and walked round the large couch, squeezing his eyes and pushing at it so it moved backwards and there was enough space granted for he and Jean to sit.

Jean observed him as he moved about. He supposed it didn’t really matter if he chose to say no because Armin was already prepared. “Ay, ay, Captain.” He snickered as he made his way over to the blonde. “Want me to throw the other pizza into the oven? Connie and I didn’t even get to it before Sasha came and kidnapped him.”

“Yes please.” Armin smiled up at him for a moment before he plopped onto the carpet and grabbed the game box, examining the cover. “Wait... what’s _Monopoly Gold_?”

“It’s the same, just more pieces to choose from and… most of the stuff is colored gold.” Jean shrugged as he walked into the open kitchen, immediately spotting the pizza box on the island counter. “I haven’t played it since like.. my freshman year at Bishop, to be honest.”

“Bishop?” From his position in the kitchen Jean watched Armin open the box and set up the board on the floor. “That’s your high school?” He locked eyes with the brunet for a moment.

“Yep. Eren and Mikasa went there too. But I’m sure you already know that.” Jean grabbed a baking pan from under the stove and laid the pizza out on it.

“Yeah, after they moved away.” Armin’s voice quieted slightly, and Jean noticed it. Perhaps this was a sore topic for him. But damn, now he was kinda curious.

Jean turned the oven on and slid the pizza inside. “I’m curious. How did you guys meet?” He looked back to Armin for a moment to make sure he didn’t seem upset, but he was busily organizing the money in the plastic tray.

“You mean how I met Eren and Mikasa?” The blonde smiled a little as he worked, but somehow it seemed halfhearted. “Oh... I was ten years old, I believe. Because of my runty size I’m sure you can guess I was bullied often.” He ran a hand through his hair. “One day after school Eren appeared and fought the guys off.” He paused for a moment and pursed his lips. “Well… he tried to. Mikasa was the one they were afraid of, honestly. Afterwards Eren asked me if I was okay and they took me to Dr. Jaeger to get checked out. From that moment on they kind of… stuck by me. I think at first it was just to protect someone weaker than them, but as time progressed a real friendship bloomed and we were inseparable.”

Jean blinked and stared at Armin with wide eyes. He definitely hadn’t been expecting that.

“That’s...”

“Sorry, did I ruin the mood?” Armin lifted his eyes to Jean. He seemed truly apologetic then, and it made Jean’s heart lurch.

“Oh God, no.” Jean blew out a chuckle as he grabbed an oven mit. He pulled the lever and reached inside, pulling out the heated pizza and setting it on the stove. “I just wasn’t expecting it. I thought it’d be something like... I don’t know, you saving Eren from fucking with some older kids and getting his ass kicked.” He shrugged. 

“I’ve done that too, believe me.” Armin giggled. “Eren was pretty hardheaded when we were kids.”

“Yeah, that hasn’t changed one bit.” Jean set the pizza back in the box and brought it into the living room. Armin was leaning on his side with his head propped on his hand, his other arm still working on organizing the money.

“So you guys’ve been friends since you were kids, huh?” Jean sat cross-legged across from the blonde. Armin just nodded with a fond smile painted over his lips.

“Yeah. We did _everything_ together. Joint vacations, holiday dinners, the whole nine.” He pushed a stack of money over to Jean. “The Jaegers were a lot more well-off, and they always helped us out when we were in a bind. Eren and Mikasa were like family and Karla and Grisha were like my aunt and uncle.”

Jean listened as he spoke. At first he just assumed Armin was some kid with a massively obvious crush on Eren – it’d explain the overly affectionate interactions between them, but now he understood why they clung to each other so much. It was kind of sweet, really. But Jean would never admit that aloud.

“So what did you do when they moved away?” He looked over at the blonde as he reached into the box and grabbed he trash bin piece. He didn’t really care which one he played with, so long as he was winning.

Armin sighed softly. “It was hard, honestly. We all started high school together and then in the middle of sophomore year Grisha’s job relocated. It was one of the most awful things I had to weather….having a part of me just…taken away, and being completely helpless.” The corner of his lip twitched and his voice lowered considerably. “It’s happened more than once...” Armin shut his eyes and breathed deeply, then opened them again and reached for the iron piece. His smile returned almost instantly. “But I’m happy the three of us are going to uni together. I get to see them all the time.”

Jean noticed the slight waver of his actions. He wondered what it meant, but he wouldn’t ask. If it had that much of an effect on him it was probably too difficult for him to talk about.

After the chance and community chest cards were shuffled and laid in their respective parts of the board, the game began.  

Armin plucked a community chest card and quickly read it, then lifted his eyes to Jean with a small grin. “‘Collect fifty dollars from each player.’ Sorry Jean.” He held his hand out expectantly.

Jean grumbled and leaned over to read the card for himself. “…You little...”

“My money, please.” Armin wiggled his fingers a bit, grin quickly shifting into a sweet smile as his other hand moved the iron up a space.

“Oh don’t even try and act innocent.” The brunet rolled his eyes and grabbed a fifty dollar bill from his money stack and handed it over to him. “You just got lucky, I promise you. I’m gonna kick your ass.”

“We’ll see.” Armin chuckled and accepted the bill, then sat it in its specified pile. The blonde’s money was organized into an array of descending worth, starting with the five hundred dollar bills.

_‘This kid…’_

Jean reached for a chance card. As he read it, his features immediately wrought into a frown. ‘ _Go directly to jail.’_ “…Are you fucking kidding me right now?”

Armin leaned over to read the card and had to cover his mouth to keep from laughing.  “Sorry.”

 _‘No you’re not. You’re reveling in this. I know you are.’_ Jean groaned and moved his piece to the other end of the board and sat it in jail. “This is bullshit.”

“No need to swear.” Armin giggled and reached for a slice of pizza, then drew a chance card from the stack.

Jean had every reason to swear, though. Because as the night progressed, the game only continued to turn in Armin’s favor. Fifteen minutes into midnight and Armin had already bought a generous helping of property on the board, whereas Jean was teetering on the edge of bankruptcy. The blonde was royally kicking his ass, and he knew it. Once the game had ended and the pizza was finished, Jean sulked and stalked into his room with a thought to never play any sort of game with Armin again.

* * *

 

 

 

 

> _Friday, July 11 th, 8:20am_

_Diet Mountain Dew, baby New York City. Never was there ever a girl so pretty._

Armin hummed to the music, running his palm over his face as he examined his skin in the magnified mirror that was mounted on the wall. He was prepping for his early morning skin routine, which consisted of a beginning cleanse with this trusty Argon oil, a scrub with his cherry blossom face wash and ending in a spritz of facial toner. There'd been several occasions where Eren had teased him about being so anal about skincare, but Armin just suggested that when they were older he’d still have nice, youthful skin while Eren would look like a raisin. And that always got him to shut up.

The blonde grabbed for a bobby pin on the edge of the bathroom sink and pinned his fringe back, reaching over to the closed toilet seat to turn up his iPod speakers but instead he tripped and banged his ankle into the trash bin, knocking it over and effectively spilling the contents onto the floor.

“Damn it!”

Armin crouched down and immediately began pushing the trash back into the bin. Luckily there was no real garbage, only paper towels and miscellaneous wrappers and… wait, what was that?

Armin noticed an abnormally shaped scrap of paper. When he picked it up and examined it he concluded it was a piece of a ripped up drawing. ‘But why would someone..?’ Curiously, he reached for the other pieces of the paper he found and took a few minutes to piece them together on the floor. It was a little messy, but after a while Armin got the general idea of what was drawn.

Blue eyes grew wide with the realization. It was a portrait of himself… asleep. He recognized it immediately; the crescent moon necklace he was wearing in it was a dead giveaway. ‘Jean drew this....’ He said to himself, but he couldn’t quite believe it. It made a lot of sense though.. how he’d been so obstinate about not letting Armin see what he was doing in his sketchbook. The blonde swallowed and clapped a hand over his mouth, cheeks growing red.

He wondered if he should tell Jean about this. Probably not, considering he’d made such an obvious fuss about getting rid of it. But even still, Armin found himself collecting the scraps and clasping them together with a bobby pin, tucking them away into his pocket. He’d keep it with him and just not mention it to Jean. Yes. That’d go along okay.  Besides, it was a nice sketch, and Armin hated to admit it but it made his heart flutter


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry that took SO long. some new characters (not really) are introduced in this chapter, aye. Mikasa in a modern setting… I hope I did it right. I tried to make her a bit more sociable and slightly less "all about eren" all the time???

 

>   _Saturday, July 12 th, 5:53pm_

Armin’s eyes were fixed on the clock at the top corner of his phone. The more he stared, the more irritated he became. Eren was late. _Horribly late._ He’d told Armin to meet him at Pinkberry at 5:15, but it was already nearing six and Armin had long since finished his frozen yogurt.

_‘What could he possibly be doing?.’_

He practically glared at the text he sent him a few minutes earlier. _“Where are you?”_ Eren had yet to reply. Half of him thought he’d forgotten, but no. Eren was the one to suggest they have froyo together because apparently he had a surprise for him that needed to be given immediately. But if it was so urgent, why was he taking forever and a day to show up?

Armin was ready to push himself up from the booth and go look around in the bookstore across the street when he heard someone call out to him.

 “Ar! Sorry for taking so long!”

The blonde looked over his shoulder. He instantly spotted Eren entering the shop, but he wasn’t alone. His eyes widened and a bright smile curved onto his lips at the realization that a familiar raven-haired girl was walking towards the booth alongside him.

“ _Mikasa_!” Armin shrieked, forgetting they weren’t alone in the shop for a moment as he stood up and sashayed over to them. Mikasa was smiling as well, her dark eyes lit as she outstretched her arms to usher him into a hug. “Armin, it’s been too long.”

“Two and a half years.” Armin said as he embraced her tightly, head nesting in her shoulder. Her scent was nostalgic... it was that familiar aroma of cashmere perfume. Just from a single whiff Armin could envision a younger version of himself standing next to Eren in the cosmetic department of Lord & Taylor. He remembered that day all too well; Eren had waited until the last possible second to get Mikasa a gift for her fifteenth birthday. Armin had suggested perfume and they went with it. He didn’t expect her to still wear it, but then Mikasa was a bit of a hoarder when it came to things given to her by people she cared for.

“You like your surprise then?” Eren was cheesing at them, all teeth and crescent eyelids. Armin turned his head to face him and nodded. He had to chew at his lip to keep his eyes from becoming too glassy.   _‘God, I cry too much...’_ But it wasn’t as if he could help it really. Armin had a tendency to get emotional,  and the last time they’d all been together was during the second semester of sophomore year, when Mikasa and Eren were saying their goodbyes. A small pang coursed through the boy at the mere thought of it.  

When Mikasa pulled away, she reached down to hold Armin’s hand whilst the other lifted to coil a lock of his hair around her slender finger. “Your hair grew. I like it.”  She marveled with a fond gaze, and Armin just giggled.  “Yeah? Eren told me I should cut it.”

The brunet boy held his hands up defensively when both heads turned to him. “It’s been windy lately. And its summer, you know?” He began walking towards the booth and beckoned for them to follow. “Now can we sit? I’ve been fiending for some froyo all day.”

“I think Armin’s hair is perfect as it is.” Mikasa mumbled to herself as she fell into step behind Eren. Armin grinned. _‘She certainly hasn’t changed…’_ He let himself be led back to the booth ad slid in next to Mikasa.

Eren’s eyes immediately fell on the empty cup at the opposite end of the table. “You already ate, Armin?”

“You were taking forever to get here.” Armin propped his elbows up and folded his fingers, resting his chin on them. He heard Eren whine something about his mother before his phone began to vibrate from the confines of his shorts. If it wasn’t a notification from Game Center, it was a text. But he couldn’t fathom from whom, considering the only people who’d need to text him anything were right here.  

But when he retrieved his phone and read the message, he found himself smiling.

 **[ SMS from: Jean ]** u want Chinese before karaoke night? I can promise the food at the bar will be shit.

“…Jean Kirschtein?” Mikasa leaned in to get a better view of his phone, her eyebrow rising in faint amusement. “Why’s Jean texting you?”

Eren snorted. “Still not sure why, but Armin decided to room with him.” His eyes squinted together to get a better view of the menu at the far-end of the shop.

“You haven’t been here a month and you already found a roommate.” Mikasa hummed as she began toying  with the garnet birthstone on her middle finger. “And I’m sort of surprised it’s Jean.”

Armin rested his chin on his hand and typed a quick “no thank you” in response to the message, then returned his gaze to the raven next to him. “What’s wrong with Jean?” He’d admit sometimes Eren could be a bit irrational, but if even Mikasa was showing aversion something had to be the matter.

“Nothing in particular, just…” Mikasa lifted her eyes to look at him. “He doesn’t seem like the kind of person you’d get along with, is all.” Her arm extended to tuck a stray lock of his hair behind his ear, face turning contemplative. “…He has nice eyebrows though...”

Armin sputtered a laugh at her words. “What do his eyebrows have to do with anything?”

“They look like he gets them done regularly, the fag.” Eren muttered to himself, eyes still fixed on the menu, before turning to Mikasa a moment later. “If we’re done discussing Jean Kirschtein, I’m going to go order the froyo now. Your usual, yeah?”

Mikasa nodded and Eren stood, making his way over to the counter. Armin rested his palms flat on the table and stretched his arms out.

“So, what’s new with you, Mikasa?”

“Mm..” The raven pursed her lips. “I found my uncle again.” She reached her hands over to Armin’s hair, and he could very clearly feel French tips as she began to gently work and pull through the tresses. Armin wouldn’t ask her what she was doing; it felt nice and he knew she wouldn’t do anything that he’d be ashamed to wear in public. He was so lost in the soothing feel of her fingers that he hadn’t realized the weight of what she’d said until he thought about it again.

“What? Your uncle?” He looked up at her, but was careful not to move too much. Mikasa had that determined look on her face (it reminded him of Eren) as she continued to knead the locks together. “When I moved to Trost I decided to try and track down my biological family. I got lucky.”

“That’s great!” Armin chimed, “So what’s he like?”

“Uncle Kenny’s great.” Mikasa reached into her satchel and dug around for a moment before pulling out a flowery hair barrette. “His son, though—”

“Levi?”

Both Armin and Mikasa’s attention turned at the voice. Eren was grinning as he settled back into his seat with two cups of froyo and spoons in his tanned hands. “Levi’s fuckin’ amazing.” He pushed one of the cups across the table towards his sister. “Why are you cornrowing his hair?”

“It’s a French braid, Eren.” Mikasa ‘tsk’d’ under her breath and resumed her work. “He has a very odd infatuation with my cousin and I don’t understand why. The guy’s about as tall as my knee.” Mikasa clasped the accessory into Armin’s hair, then petted his shoulder to signify that she was done.  

Armin moved to sit upright and reached up to feel the braid, giggling. “He can’t be that short.”

“He’s not. She’s just exaggerating.” Eren spooned a bit of the frozen treat into his mouth and rolled his eyes. “He’s a filthy rich entrepreneur. He owns nightclubs.”

“ _Strip clubs_.” Mikasa held up her finger to correct him. “How dignified is that?”

“If he’s making money, does it matter?” Eren continued to eat, only to hiss when the froyo touched against his front teeth. Armin chuckled and grabbed his phone to examine the braid in the frontal view of his camera. _It was gorgeous_. Mikasa had curved the braid along the left side of his head and put the daisy barrette in the very front. “How do I look?” He asked aloud.

“Beautiful.” Eren grinned. “You should make an Instagram and take a pic.”

Mikasa rested her chin on her fist and raised both her eyebrows, idly twirling her spoon around in her cup. “..You don’t have an Instagram?”

“I never saw the point in making one.” Armin found himself pouting as he sat his phone down. “All you do is post pictures. I don’t really need—”

“I plan to for us to take lots of selfies.” Mikasa said, a bit of finality in her tone. She took a spoonful of her froyo and plucked his phone from his grasp, then slid it across the table to Eren. “Eren, make an account for him.”

“Roger.” Eren heeded his sister’s request and began punching away at the phone. “Having an insta will come in handy, you know. Especially tonight. I’m looking forward to recording everyone making assess of themselves at the karaoke bar.” The brunet boy smirked and glanced up at Armin with a tilt of his head. “I’m making your username ‘Arlert alert’, okay?”

Armin outright laughed at the suggestion but waved his hands anyway. “That’s.. – Sure, Eren. Go ahead.” _‘That’s stupid as hell.’_ He kicked his legs up to prop on the seat across from him, resting his feet next to Eren’s thighs.

“It’s not as bad as Rogueprince.” Mikasa kept her eyes on Eren and took in the remainder of her yogurt, then licked at the end of the spoon.

“That’s been my username for years and I don’t intend on changing it.” Eren jutted out his lower lip, then tilted his head and pulled Armin’s phone back at arm’s length to take a quick selfie. “I hope you don’t mind your first post being a picture of your hot best friend.”

“Why would I?” Armin grinned and reached across the table to snag his friend’s froyo. “I’m gonna take the liberty of finishing this.” Without waiting for a response he began digging in, groaning in pleasure as soon as the hazelnut reached his taste buds. “Mm, is that Nutella?”

“Vanilla drizzled with Nutella, yeah.” Eren chuckled as he turned his head back down, typing up a captain to the picture he’d just taken.

“What’s Armin’s username? I wanna follow him.” Mikasa grabbed a sleek Samsung from her satchel and tapped it to life.

“Arlert-underscore-alert.”

“That’s _so_ embarrassing.” Armin spooned as much Nutella as he could and lifted it pop between his lips, his eyes growing wide with a sudden thought. “Wait – Eren.” He reached over the table and snatched his phone back. “I have an even better username in mind.” He looked down at his phone, immediately laughing when he saw that his first post was indeed a picture of Eren, with the caption _“everyone get a load of my hot bestie @rogueprince”._

“Even better than _Arlert Alert_?” Eren gasped and placed a palm on the chest of his polo-shirt, feigning shock. “I bet money it’s going to be something nerdy and astronomy-related.” He sniggered and reached over to take his frozen yogurt back.

Armin just kept quiet because Eren was right. He opened up the panel to edit his profile and typed his new name in, then pressed “save”. “Lunarmin.” The blonde said, clearly pleased with himself for coming up with something so clever. Well... _he_ thought it was clever, at least. “You know, like Lunar Armin. Moon references.” He touched his fingers to the silver crescent pendant he was wearing for emphasis, which evoked another laugh from Eren.   

“You’re such a dork Ar.” Eren got up from his side of the booth and paced over, offering a look of slight  apology as he squeezed onto the bench that was clearly only meant for two people. Armin squeaked.

“Eren, you’re hurting my legs! What are you doing?”

“Let’s all take a selfie together.” The brunet pouted.  

“We could have done this standing up or later-”

“No.” Mikasa interjected, holding her hand up to grab both boys’ attention. “I’m with Eren. Let’s take one.” She pulled up the camera app on her phone. “Samsungs have better-quality cameras.” As per usual, her statement wasn’t up for argument as she handed Armin the phone.

After a moment the blonde nodded and shifted so he was sitting on Eren’s thigh, wiggling to get comfortable. “Am I hurting you, Eren?” When the brunet shook his head he smiled, wrapping his arm around Mikasa’s shoulder and using the other to hold the phone out in front of them. Mikasa leaned in and puffed her cheeks, mashing her face flush against Armin whilst Eren opted to press a lingering kiss against his cheek.

“Ready?” Armin was beaming as pressed the button to start the timer.

“3… 2…1 …CHEESE!”

* * *

 

 

>   _Saturday, July 12 th, 8:21pm_

“Took you guys long enough!”

Armin had to take a step back as not to be bombarded by the brunet girl that was practically running towards them, throwing her arms around Mikasa with a small squeak. Mikasa just petted her back and mumbled something that was impossible to be heard over the music that was coming from inside the room.

“Sash, let her breathe.” Eren chuckled and Armin felt him grip his wrist and gently tug him inside the room, kicking the door shut behind him. The room was pretty spacious; there was, of course, a karaoke machine against the left wall with a flat-screen TV mounted above it. An L-shaped couch was a few feet away from it, with pillows placed gracelessly along the cushions. High tables and stools lined the wall directly across from the entrance, and on the right side there was a door that Armin presumed let to the main room of the bar.

“You guys come here a lot?” Armin asked his friend as he was led to the couch where Jean and Connie were perched, huddled over and watching something on Connie’s iPad.

Eren nodded and pulled them both down to sit. “It’s sorta like a tradition. The owner knows us. Hey.” Eren threw his arm out to snap his fingers in front of their faces to grab their attention.

“We can hear you, Jaeger.” Jean said, tilting his head up with a slightly irritated expression. “Just choosing to ignore you.”

Connie, on the other hand, was practically cheesing as he reached out to clap a hand onto Eren’s shoulder. “ _Thank God_ you’re here, man. I wanna get hold of the machine before the girls hog it all night, like last time.”  His eyes fell on Armin expectantly. “You’re doing the group song with us, right Armin?”

Armin shrugged, having to swallow the bashfulness that was daring to swell up in his chest. “I suppose, yes.” He smiled and folded his hands in his lap. “But… we’re not going first, are we?”

“No, the first person to arrive gets first dibs. It’s tradition.” Jean said without missing a bit. He handed the tablet back to his friend and scooted over to sit next to Armin, a lopsided grin on his lips. “Cute braid.” He poked the tip of his finger against his hair. Armin chuckled. “Thanks.”

“Where’s Annie?”

The boys all looked up to see Mikasa starting down at them, her fingers toying with the fringed hem of her scarf.

Eren snickered and muttered something incoherent, and even though Armin was sure Mikasa hadn’t heard it he still earned himself a tight squeeze to his shoulder.

“She’s getting herself a drink at the bar.” Sasha replied from a little ways over, untangling the microphone cords whilst her other hand used the remote to scroll through a list of songs that were displayed up on the TV. “Connie,” She turned her head towards her boyfriend, who was already standing at attention.

“Yeah, babe?”

“Let’s do a duet.”

Connie grinned. “You got it.” He sent his friends a small salute before jogging over to join Sasha behind the machine.

“So much for us all being in this together.” Eren tsk’ed.

Armin blinked as he sunk back into the plush leather, watching Mikasa take Connie’s seat between Eren and Jean. He let a moment of silence pass before he finally decided to ask, “Who’s Annie?”

Both Eren and Jean smirked at the question, while Mikasa began fiddling with her scarf again. “Mikasa’s girlfriend.” Jean lifted off the couch a bit to pull his phone out of his back pocket.

“Wait, _really_?” Armin’s eyes were blown wide. He’d always been aware that Mikasa liked girls, but he had no idea she was _dating someone_. Why hadn’t she mentioned it before?

“She’s not her girlfriend, Jean.” Eren corrected, his smirk growing broad.

“Oh right, sorry. They’re _friends with benefits_.”

Mikasa tugged her scarf up over the bottom half of her face, something she’d always done when she was at a loss for words. “You two..” Her voice was muffled by the fabric filmed over her mouth but Armin could hear the warning in her tone.

The blonde looked up and over when a familiar tune rang in his ears. He immediately smiled when he recognized “You’re The One That I Want” from Grease – one of his all-time favorite movies. Armin sat back on the couch and began tapping his finger against his thigh, mouthing along whilst Connie spewed out the beginning of the first verse.

“Are we waiting on anyone else?” Jean leaned back as well and began tapping away at his phone, not paying the slightest ounce of attention as his friends put on a _damn interesting_ show in front of him.

“No, I don’t think so.” Eren whispered, green eyes busily following Connie and Sasha as they moved about and tried to emulate the real Danny and Sandy’s dance moves.

“Are Reiner and Bertl gonna show?”

“I wouldn’t count on it.” Eren took out his phone as well and held it up to record the performance. “Lord knows what they’re doing together on a Saturday night. – Now shut up.”

Jean hissed at him and but Armin was thankful for it. He returned his attention to Connie and Sasha and his smile only widened. They were so into it, which was pretty cute.

_“You’re the one that I want, you are the one that I want. Oo, oo, oo, honey!”_

It kind of made him want to sing with someone.

Out of the peripheral of his vison, Armin saw a hand land on Mikasa’s shoulder, and a rather petite body squeeze between the raven and Jean. He reluctantly tore his gaze away from Connie and Sasha to get a better look at this new girl. Armin definitely wouldn’t put her over five feet tall. She was blonde, and had big, drowsy blue eyes that currently looked extremely jaded. In her hand was a wide-mouthed martini glass with some kind of neon-colored liquid inside.

“Armin, _this_ is Mikasa’s...  special friend.” Eren gestured a hand towards the girl and kept his voice as low as he could. “Annie, this is Armin.”

The girl sat between Mikasa and Jean and crossed her legs, her head tilting in acknowledgment. “Hi.”

Instinctively, Armin smiled and waved with his fingers. “Hi, Annie.” He chimed, but resisted the urge to hold out his hand because she didn’t look like she’d shake it. She looked bored, or like she didn’t even want to be here. But when Mikasa tugged her scarf down and tilted her head towards her, the fondness in both their eyes was clearly evident.

“I’m singing next.” Jean declared as he dropped his phone into his lap. Armin didn’t have to lean over much to see Candy Crush Saga open on the screen.

“I don’t wanna do the group thing until I get a few drinks in me.” Eren’s eyes were still locked on their friends. “And all your talking is messing with the recording, _so can it_.”

“I wasn’t even the only one talking, you biased fuck.” Jean shot back, his arms folding over his chest. “We don’t have to do that. But it’s boring sitting here. I wanna sing.”

Admittedly, Armin was having the same urge. But since he was feeling too timid he just kept quiet and looked back to the focal point of the room. The performance was tied with Sasha spinning Connie into her arms just as the song ended, and everyone cheered their approval.

“Watching karaoke when I’m sober is actually a lot more pleasant.” Eren grinned as he shut off the recording and began typing something into his phone. “I got most of it, but I’ll have to trim the bits where Jean was running his fuckin’ mouth.”

“Oh shut up, Jaeger.” Jean snorted and rose up from his seat, high-fiving Connie on his way over to the karaoke machine. He picked up the microphone and tapped it a few times. “Hello friends. Jean Kirschtein here to lull you all into oblivion with my radical chords.”

Sasha made a ‘pfft’ sound with her lips and plopped down onto the couch. “Jean, you’re so embarrassing. Please.” Laughing, she dug her hand into the hobo bag at her feet and tugged out a half-eaten Snickers bar.

Armin hadn’t realized he’d been laughing along until he heard a small gasp. “Oi, Armin!” Jean’s hazel eyes narrowed at him, but the anger was obviously feigned. “You laughin’ at me?”

“I’m sorry.” The boy giggled and, acting on a whim and a sudden thought, he popped up from his seat and strutted over to him. “….Let me sing with you.” He said quietly, and Jean just blinked, his eyes growing wide.

“Uh… sure, okay.” Jean nodded after a moment, still looking pretty shocked. But it was definitely a pleasant kind of shock., Armin could tell. “What, you mean like a duet?”

“Isn’t that what it’s called when two people sing together?” Armin laughed and bit softly on his tongue, trying hard not to blush out of pure embarrassment. He grabbed the other microphone and switched it on. “I’m soprano, you needn’t worry.”

“This should be good.” Eren had a rather devious smirk etched onto his lips as he stared at them. “Jean, don’t cry when Armin outshines your shit singing. - On second thought, I won’t hold it against you. I’ll record it and put it on Instagram.”

“Shut _up_ , Jaeger. I always sing lead in the group for a reason.” He growled at him, but when he turned  to Armin his expression noticeably softened. “You can choose the song.”

Armin nodded with a small chuckle and grabbed the remote. He found his way to the main directory of songs and pressed “duets”, senses instantly perked by the extensive list of songs from the High School Musical movies. Being the fanatic he was, Armin couldn’t fade his excitement.

“High School Musical? Really?” The taller boy moved to stand next to him.

“Why not? Don’t tell me you’ve never seen them.”

“No I have but…”  Jean rubbed the back of his neck in a sheepish manner. “God, my little sister made me watch HSM with her so much. The songs are kind of engraved in my mind.” He chuckled and took the remote from Armin’s hand and scrolled to the bottom, immediately highlighting “Just Wanna Be With You”.

“If we’re gonna do this, it’s gotta be this song. It’s my favorite.”

“Deal.” Armin smiled up at him and sunk his teeth into his lower lip, then turned to face their audience. Usually he’d be nervous, but somehow being in the presence of his new friends comforted him. He tapped the microphone a few times to test the volume and cued Jean to start the song.

He heard a small snicker from the crowd and zeroed his eyes on Eren. Jean stuck up his middle finger then closed his eyes as he took a step closer to Armin.

_“I got a lot of things I have to do.  All these distractions, our future’s coming soon.”_

Armin couldn’t help the toothy smile that claimed his lips when he heard Jean’s singing. It wasn’t amazing, no, but it certainly wasn’t the embarrassment he was sort of expecting. He held his mic with both hands and prepared for the harmony.

_“We’re being pulled a hundred different directions, but whatever happens, I know I’ve got you.”_

Jean opened his eyes and grinned at the blonde, swaying a bit.

_“You’re on my mind, you’re in my heart. It doesn’t matter where we are. We’ll be alright even if we’re miles apart.”_

Armin dared to reach for his hand, and his face grew hot when the advance was met with warmth enveloping his palm. The harmony flowed between them so effortlessly, it was glorious.

_“All I wanna do is be with you, be with you. There’s nothing we can’t do. Just wanna be with you, only you. No matter where life takes us, nothing can break us apart. I just wanna be with you.”_

At the end of the chorus, Armin broke his gaze from Jean and looked to his friends. They were all bobbing their heads, and Sasha was quietly singing along. _Even Eren looked amused._

He felt himself being tugged backwards and his eyes moved back to Jean. He smiled again when he noticed his head moving from side to side and his fingers slid through his own.  

_“You know how life can be, it changes overnight.”_

Armin followed his steps, letting him lead their movements.

_“It’s sunny then raining, but it’s alright._

_A friend like you always makes it easy. I know that you get me every time.”_

When Jean let go of his hand and spun, he nearly knocked into the speakers, but he caught himself at the last second. Armin found himself laughing into the verse.

_“Through every up, through every down, you know I’ll always be around. Through anything you can count on me.”_

Armin decided to get a little bold. When the chorus hit, he squeezed passed the karaoke machine and twirled in the direction of the couch, Jean catching on and following right after him.

_“All I wanna do is be with you, be with you.”_

Jean caught up to him and gripped his hand again, bringing him close.

_“There’s nothing we can’t do. Just wanna be with you, only you._

_No matter where life takes us, nothing can break us apart._

_You know it’s true._

_I just wanna be with you.”_

And then the song wound down. Armin was yanked flush against Jean’s chest and he looked up at him, both boys filled with mirth as the last lyric was shared in a breath.

_“I just wanna be with you.”_

* * *

 

 (because i'ma hsm nerd i will link you the [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9e4PGcw9eoU) they were singing) 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was gonna introduce krista but i got hella lazy so i'll do that in the chapters to come.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you were wondering, I decided to go with the European drinking age to make things easier because they drink a lot lol. Also I got asked on tumblr what age everyone is so: Armin is 16 (he skipped a grade in middle school) and everyone else is 17, except Eren and Jean who’re 18. Ye. The birthdays are the canon birthdays in snk obv. So… Sasha’s birthday is coming up. B)

 

 

> _Sunday, July 13 th,  8:43am_

Jean gulped much-needed air as he plopped down on the bench just outside of the rec center. He suddenly regretted all the drinks he’d taken at the bar the night before; if he’d woken up at dawn he could have went for his jog before the sun was up, and he wouldn’t be feeling so incredibly lousy. _‘Ugh.’_ He wiped a hand over his temple and took a swig from his water bottle.

It was _too fuckin’ hot._

Why had he drunk so much, anyway? Jean usually wasn’t a heavy drinker, but he supposed being surrounded by his friends had spurred him on. As an afterthought he decided to grab his phone and check his photos for anything embarrassing.

As he scrolled, he found nothing. Thankfully. Just videos of he and his friends singing, drunken selfies and – _oh._ Jean felt a slight tug at the corner of his lips as he eyed the picture he’d stumbled upon. He didn’t even remember taking it. It was a picture of he and Armin. Jean was holding a beer while Armin had some sort of fruity-slush concoction in his hand.

Jean spent an embarrassingly long time staring at the photo. The smile on Armin’s face was… intoxicating, for lack of a better word. He was positive the boy had been fairly tipsy when the photo was taken, though. The way Armin so comfortably leaned into him was a dead giveaway. But even still, he’d cherish it. --…in a completely no-homo sort of way.

Jean was unaware of the dumb smile on his face as he tucked his phone away and rose from the bench, trekking towards his car. He unlocked the doors with a click and climbed inside. It still smelled somewhat new, and the scent brought him back to earlier in the year when his parents had gifted it to him as duel birthday-graduation present. Connie and Sasha had spent an eternity teasing him for driving around in a convertible like some pampered rich kid, but Jean ignored it. At the end of the day he was the only one out of his friends with a car and they never complained when he offered to drive them around.

After starting the engine, Jean decided to take a gamble and see what was playing on the radio. He grimaced when the first thing he heard was that insufferably obnoxious voice of Iggy Azalea, chanting some nonsense about being sixteen without any money or family, or whatever.

He changed to the alternative station, which was a lot more bearable. They were playing some QUOTSA song Jean could deal with that. As he pulled out of the lot, he found himself idly wondering what kind of music Armin listened to..

* * *

 

 

> _Sunday, July 13 th,  9:14am_

Jean was greeted by the smell of breakfast immediately upon entry into the apartment. He closed his eyes, kicking the door shut and locking it. “Sash, you cooking?” He called out in the direction of the kitchen, expecting to see her posted in front of the stove. But no one was there. There were a few plates covered in tinfoil on the counter. Curiously, he walked across the small foyer towards the kitchen, uncurling one of the wraps and peeking beneath it. Scrambled eggs. That was odd. Sasha never cooked and left right after.

He looked towards the sink. All the dishes were washed and neatly laid out on the drying rack. Okay, now he was positive Sasha hadn’t made this. But despite his curiosity, he reached up into the cupboard and grabbed a Styrofoam plate, loading it with a large helping of eggs, and sausage and potatoes from the other dishes. Jean had taken a Nantucket Nectar from the fridge and was walking towards his room when a voice grabbed his attention.  

“Jean?”

Jean stopped in his tracks and turned to the room adjacent to where he stood. Through the crack in the door he could see Armin sitting cross-legged on his bed with his laptop balanced on his thighs.

He nudged the door open with the toe of his sneaker and stepped inside. “Hey, good morning Armin.”  

“Good morning.” Armin smiled up at him. The boy was dressed in a long-sleeved pajama set, and that golden mane of his was tied up into a bun in the middle of his head. Jean silently wondered why he was dressed so heavily when it was hot enough to melt metal outside.

“You’re eating the breakfast I prepared.” He rested his hands on the top of his laptop and bent it towards him.

“Oh, you made this? It’s okay for me to eat some, right?” Jean blinked and took a few more steps inside the room, only then realizing this was actually the first time he’d been in there. The room had a cozy feel to it; the walls were covered in posters of every kind (art, anime, video games and of course the astronomical ones which seemed to be in the majority). There were candles on nearly every surface too, and the headboard of his bed was tightly strung with lavender-colored fairy lights.

“It’s totally okay!” Armin nodded and sat his laptop beside him, his arms resting on his legs. “I had nothing to do when I was up this morning so I just decided to cook a whole bunch. I think I got carried away..” He laughed softly.

 _‘This boy is really..’_ Jean laughed along with him. He inched towards his bed with a slightly shy expression. “Do you mind if I eat in here?”

“Of course not.” Armin was grinning as he got up from his bed and crouched down. “One second.” He reached under the bed and pulled out a wooden tray with legs folded underneath it,  then stood up to hand it to him. Jean smiled gratefully and set up the tray on his bed.

“So… I’m assuming you just came from the gym.” Armin eyed his attire and returned to his position on the bed. Jean placed his food on the tray and unscrewed the cap on his juice. He felt an urge to lie and say yes, and he didn’t really know why, but he wanted to impress Armin.  Simply jogging every morning wasn’t really all that awe-worthy. “Uh, yeah… yeah I’ve been there since early this morning.” Jean flexed his bicep for emphasis, glad the muscles were still pretty prominent from running track and playing lacrosse all throughout high school.

Armin reached out to touch his fingers to his bicep and made a small “oo”ing noise. “Impressive.” The blonde sat back against his headboard and brought his computer towards him. Jean could hear the sound of a game, and when he peeked over he spied the interface of some sort of RPG.

“What are you playing?”

“Perfect World.” Armin was typing for a moment before shifting his eyes back towards him. “It’s like... the Chinese version of Word of Warcraft.”

That certainly peaked his interest. He pushed some potatoes between his lips and slowly chewed. “Oh yeah? Does it cost money?”

“No. Which is why it’s better in my opinion.” Armin pointed his finger to the [poster next to his bookshelf](https://d1466nnw0ex81e.cloudfront.net/n_iv/600/1266809.jpg). It was a CG animation of a woman – Jean presumed her to be a mythical creature of some sort – clad in regal looking armor with hair that reached her calf. In some kind of futuristic font, it read “Perfect World International” in the top-left corner. “And the characters are certainly better looking in this game.” Armin grinned.

Jean toed off his running shoes, kicking them to the floor and shifting so he sat next to Armin against the headboard. Their shoulders touched and usually he’d bark at someone that they were too close, but for a reason inexplicable to him, Jean was enjoying the proximity. Armin smelled nice.

_'…Way to be a creep, Jean.’_

He bit into a sausage link as he glanced at the screen, instantly taken by the extraordinary graphics and scenery. From what he could see in the character panel, Armin was playing a level-57 elf named “Neptunis”. “You’re pretty far in this game.” He leaned over a little to get a better view.

“I’ve been playing it since the first expansion. This is like… my tenth character.” Armin’s eyes were shinning as he spoke, and he seemed pretty enthusiastic. “My first character is on like, level ninety or something.”

“Damn.” Jean’s eyes widened for a moment, finishing off the link and picking up another one as he unintentionally shifted closer to the blonde. “So… what, do you just go on quests and shit?” He looked towards the compass in the corner of the screen. Armin was in some place called “Tellus City”.

“Yep. But since I kind of got stuck on a really huge quest I’m just wandering around and doing minor stuff for NPCs.” Armin chuckled and stretched his legs out, crossing them at the ankle. Either he was unaware of how close they were or he didn’t mind. Jean honestly hoped for the latter.

“So um, do you think this game would run on a Mac?”

“I’m sure it would.” Armin looked up at him. There wasn’t much space between their faces, and usually Jean would be a blushing mess, but this was Armin. His _roommate_. His totally adorable and kind of fun roommate that he wasn’t at all considering pursuing once they got to know each other better. No, of course he wasn’t.

But his stomach dropped when his thoughts drifted to something he’d rather not remember. That day, at the beginning of June. That day… how had he forgotten?

_“You’ll wait for me, right, Jean?”_

Jean sat his fork down and rested his palm against his forehead, the heel of it digging into his eye. That sweet voice... those words... they echoed in his mind over and over until he found himself keening. Armin clearly noticed his distress because he placed a hand on his arm.

“…Jean? Are you alright?”

Jean let a few moments pass before he dropped his hand and sat upright again, sending Armin a reassuring smile – though he wasn’t sure if it was very convincing. “I’m fine.” He cleared his throat and took a swig of his drink. “I ‘m just… still pretty hungover, I guess.”

Armin’s eyebrows were furrowed, and Jean could tell he was having trouble believing that was really all it was. But he didn’t press any further, just gently petted Jean’s back and offered a gentle smile. “Go rest then. If you want I can get the game set up on your computer and it’ll be ready by the time you wake up. It takes like... at least an hour to update and junk anyway.”

Jean exhaled at his words and looked down at his food. He didn’t really want to sleep, but Armin was right -- a nap would do him good. His palm landed on the blonde’s shoulder and he reciprocated the smile. “Thanks Armin. I’ll only be out for like an hour or two.” He moved the tray from his lap and grabbed his food with both hands as he stood.

“Pfft, there’s no rush.” Armin laughed, giving him one last look before turning back to his laptop. “Rest well, okay?”

* * *

 

 

> _Wednesday, July 16 th, 7:10pm_

Armin sat on his hands and leaned forward to get a better view of Connie’s iPad screen. He’d been summoned from his reading to assist in booking a hotel for Sasha’s birthday party, and Armin had to bite his tongue to keep from mentioning how _last minute_ this all was. But granted, about a month ago the idea of a group weekend in Beachville (the clever dub for the tourist area surrounding Trost’s most famous beach) _had been_ thrown around, but nothing was set in stone until they were actually certain who was going. And considering the original members of the clique had taken such a liking to having Armin around, he was practically _forced_ into accepting the offer to go.

Not that Armin needed to be forced, though. Being raised in a mountain town meant never going anywhere remotely near water. The closest he’d gotten to a beach was seeing it on television, or in the stories his mother used to tell him of the ocean-side town she grew up in. But of course there was always that fascination – he was a water sign, after all -- and what better way to experience something like this than with his new-found group of friends?

“So,” Armin gaze followed the direction of Connie’s finger, which was pointing to the gallery of images set for each room-type. “I’m thinking three rooms. Two single rooms for the couples, and one double bedroom for you, Jean and Eren. That’s cool, right?”

Armin extended out his own arm and began swiping through the photos of said double bedroom. “So I presume Eren and I will be sharing a bed.” He blinked over to his roommate, who was grinning.

“I didn’t think that’d be a problem.”

Armin had to cringe at the obvious insinuation made. “Oh, _God_ , Connie! Eren’s my brother!” He scrunched his nose and gently shoved his arm, causing the shorter male to laugh. “Then it won’t be a problem if you two share a bed, will it?”

“Once we get some alcohol in our systems I doubt we’ll be staying in our assigned rooms, anyway.” Came a playful remark from Sasha, who was mixing up something in the kitchen. Armin decided to rise up and travel the small distance to stand next to her, peeking into the plastic bowl.

It looked a bit like guacamole. “I didn’t see any tortilla chips in the cupboard.” He rested his hand on his hip when the auburn-haired girl turned to smile at him.

“I’m making a face mask.” She took the wooden spoon she was mixing with and held it up to reveal a creamy green substance. “Avocado and honey.” 

“And she decided to use our stuff to make it.” Connie snorted from the den as he continued to tap away at his iPad.  

“You _know_ my sister’s allergic to avocado. It couldn’t be helped.” Sasha stuck her tongue out at her boyfriend, and then turned his eyes on Armin as she held the spoon near his cheek. “This does wonders for blackheads and I see one riiiiight...” She tapped the end of the spoon to his cheekbone, dabbing a dime-sized glob of the mask onto his skin. “There.”  

Armin smiled as he eyed himself in the door of the microwave. “When do I wash it off?”

“Twenty minutes.”

Sasha was sitting the bowl down on the countertop when the apartment door pushed open and in walked Jean, a bag of Subway in his hand and an unfamiliar blond girl under his arm.

“Look who I found while I was out!” He shouted into the den with a grin.

Apparently the girl was only a stranger to Armin because Connie and Sasha let out identical shrieks, both dropping what they were doing and flocked to her. 

“ _Krista_!” Connie’s exclamation resounded throughout the room. The girl weaseled her way out of Jean’s grasp and smiled up at them both, her arms outspread. “Surprise!”

Armin took a step closer and silently watched as Krista took turns embracing them. She was really small, he observed; even shorter than Connie and seemed to be shorter than Annie as well. Armin found himself unconsciously studying her when his eyes fell on the rubber keychain that was attached to the strap of her handbag. It was a bubbled letter T outlined in white and green; the same logo that was printed on the welcome mat outside of the apartment. Trost University’s logo.  

“What are you even doing here?!” Sasha asked, the excitement in her tone never faltering as she rested her hands on the shorter girl’s shoulders and swayed them both from side to side.

“I brought her, remember?” Jean held up his hand and jeered playfully at his friend, who just hissed her response. Krista blew out a small laugh. “I’ve been looking for a place to stay.” She reached up to tuck a lock of her hair behind her ear. “I’m starting at Trost U in September.”

“Really?!” Connie and Sasha both seemed pretty stunned by her words. Krista just nodded and turned her gaze to Armin, who immediately formed a warm smile to mask the faint anxiety fluttering around inside his chest as she took a few steps towards him.

“Oh shit, sorry!” Connie scampered up to stand next to Armin and threw an arm around his shoulder, gesturing to the blond boy as he spoke between them. “Armin, this is Krista. She went to high school with us. Krista, Armiin’s me and Jean’s roommate.”

Krista lifted a dainty hand to wave at him. “Nice to meet you, Armin.” She looked momentarily contemplative before reaching out her arm to point at his face. “…You have a little something…”

“Oh, oh... “Armin chuckled sheepishly. “That’s a face mask. – Nice to meet you as well, Krista.” He suddenly felt an urge to wipe it off, but he knew he’d rather deal with guacamole on his face than a blackhead any day. The more he looked, the harder it became for Armin to believe Krista was their age. At the very least the girl looked like a high school sophomore. But then, Armin probably wasn’t one to talk. People _never_ believed him when he told them his age, and he wasn’t even seventeen yet.

“An avocado mask, courtesy of Sasha Braus.” Sasha giggled as she took the liberty of digging into Jean’s Subway bag, pulling out the first sub she could get her hands on. “So, Krista, what’s your schedule looking like for next weekend?” She peeled back the paper wrapping to eye the sandwich, smiling appreciatively when she realized it was her own.

‘Well...” Krista tilted her head to the side, causing a bit of her hair to tumble back from behind her ear. “I don’t have anything serious planned. Just outings with my parents and—”

“So you’re coming to Sasha’s eighteenth.” Jean chimed in as his own hand dropped into the bag and retrieved a six-inch sub. “I believe this is yours, Armin.” He held the sandwich out to the blonde. Armin had to sink his teeth into his inner cheek for noticing how chastely their fingers brushed when he accepted it, and had to bite even harder to reprimand himself for letting his eyes follow the prominent vein on Jean’s wrist up his forearm. _Christ Almighty_ , the man had some fine veins. Armin wouldn’t deny that. He remembered watching his hands work over his keyboard when they played Perfect World together, remembered being fascinated by how long and slender – and borderline effeminate – his fingers were.  

“Of course I’m going!” Krista chirped as he reached into her purse and pulled out her phone. “Where and when?”

“Next weekend in Beachville.” Sasha guided the group towards the couch and they all sat, Armin between Jean and Connie. The remaining contents of the bag were dumped out onto the coffee table and Armin sat back to begin peeling away at the wrapping on his sandwich. He idly listened to them discuss the details, and a feeling he really _did not_ want to be feeling began to creep in. Exclusion. He knew it wasn’t intentional, and he also knew it was probably his own fault. Armin could easily just add something to the conversation but he felt a bit… uneasy about it. They’d all went to high school together. They probably had a myriad of inside jokes that he’d never understand. And besides that, they all hailed from this glamorous, upper middle-class world… and what did he have to offer? Armin’s home life wasn’t exactly something to be proud of. Just thinking about it made the boy’s chest clench a bit.

“Yo!”

Armin blinked as he was forcibly pulled from his thoughts by Connie, whose face was only a few inches from his own. “You alright there, Buddy?”  

Armin was startled by the closeness and by a kneejerk reaction he launched himself back, only to land against a broad chest. “Armin, shit,” He heard Jean chuckle as large hands moved to rest on his shoulders. “You were staring at your sandwich for like a whole minute there.”

The blonde was blinking rapidly now, glancing around at all of them as he emitted a nervous laugh. “S-sorry...” He hadn’t realized he was so obviously detached.

“…Everything _is_ okay, right?” Krista leaned over Connie, her hand landing on the knee of Armin’s legging. Sasha was staring at him too, her mouth full of something that resembled steak and cheese. Armin wasn’t entirely sure, nor did he really want to be. “Dude, we know you’re into astronomy but you can’t space on us like that.” Even with a full mouth Armin could note the warm smile on her lips. He felt himself dawn a smile of his own.

He looked up and over when he felt the hand on his shoulder shift, and suddenly Jean’s arm was around him completely. “We need your vote on what movie to watch on Netflix.” He nudged his attention towards the television screen.

Armin could only feel his smile grow. His feelings of inadequacy would never vanish completely, but they certainly lessened. It felt nice that his friends – friends he hadn’t even known for that long – would so openly worry about him and try to include him in something that was foreign. Even _Krista_ had seemed concerned. It was comforting, really, even with the constant reminder that he’d never truly be one of them. But.. perhaps that wasn’t as big of a deal as he was making it out to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ITS FINALLY DONE. that took a lot longer than i thought it would, honestly. so the next arc.. I'm gonna try and do the beach thing in only two chapters because i don't want it to seem too filler, but... well we'll see. I have a lot of headcanons to execute. uwu  
> also trivia: the reason they were so happy to see krista was bc she went to school with them up until sophomore year but transferred in the beginning of junior year and they hadn't seen her since. that'll probably be mentioned at some point but I feel like I should just say it now.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> part 1 of sasha’s birthday arc. now tracking #fic: circle’s end on tumblr because.. well yeah. if anyone is interested about where the updates will be posted or needs to get out their feelings about my fic, by all means do it. but tag it so i can stalk.

> _Friday, July 25 th, 9:29am_

Jean stood in the den on Friday morning, a navy blue duffle bag on his shoulder. It was the day they were meant to leave for the trip and Jean was _more_ than ready: his surfboard was leaning on the side of the couch as he waited for Armin to join him so they could head out and meet Connie downstairs. Sasha had gotten her dad’s truck for the trip, _thank God_ , because squeezing eight people into two sedans would hardly be ideal. He was _not_ about to have Eren on his lap again.

If Jean had a bitter taste in his mouth from the thought it would have been washed out just then, when his blond roommate poked out from the hallway. He was dressed in a fitted v-neck, cut-off shorts and a pair of worn grey Tom’s. The moon pendant he seemed to never take off dangled from his neck, of course, and there was a backpack slung over his shoulder.

“You ready?” Jean asked with a tilt of his head, trying not to seem like he’d been staring too much.  

Armin was smiling as he strode towards him. His blue eyes seemed to widen when he spotted the surfboard leant on the couch. “..I thought that thing only hung in your room for decoration…” Armin’s captivation by the board was clear. Jean would use this opening to try and impress him, of course.

“Nope.” Jean replied proudly, leaning on the board and resting his hand on the hip of his swim trunks. “I’ve been surfing for years. I’m really good, too.” That wasn’t a lie. Jean _had_ been surfing since he was fifteen, and he was pretty damned good, he thought.

Armin pressed his lips together and tilted his head up to the taller boy. “Yeah?” His eyes were practically _sparkling_ as he gingerly dragged his fingertip along one of the board’s stripes. “Can I... see you surf while we’re down there?”

“Yeah, sure.” Jean swallowed thickly and mentally cursed when he felt a dash of pink dust over his nose. He didn’t even understand _why_ he was so fucking embarrassed by a question as simple as that. _‘Damn it.’_ As coolly as possible, Jean covered over his nose and tucked his board under his arm, walking towards the front door. “We should get going. Connie and Sasha are waiting on us.”

Armin nodded and followed him, pulling the door open and holding it for Jean to walk out. Together they boarded the elevator at the end of the hallway and descended to the lobby, where Connie and Sasha were indeed waiting by the main exit.

“Morning!” Sasha chimed **.** She was dressed in a crotchet beach cover and flip-flops. Connie had even _less_ modesty. The boy was shirtless beneath his open vest.

“Morning guys.” Armin adjusted his backpack as he glided over to them. Jean noticed the slight bounce in his step. He must have been really excited to see the beach.  

“You know we have to check in and unload before we even get to go swimming.” Jean tsk’d and walked towards the grid of mailboxes across from the elevator. He sunk his hand into his pocket and grabbed the mail key, then unlocked the door designated for his room number.

Sasha smirked. “The rooms are under _you_ r name, so that’s on you.”

“Yeah, Jeanny Boy.” Connie mirrored his girlfriend’s smirk, shifting the rubber tube he was holding to rest under his arm. “I’m pumped to get in the water. That’s the first thing I plan to do.”

“You guys are assholes.” Jean groused as he stuck a hand into the narrow box. He expected to find only coupon catalogs or magazines he’d unwittingly subscribed to while purchasing things online, but his fingers touched against something that looked important.

It was a letter.

Curiously, Jean grabbed the envelope and scanned the front of it. In the top left corner it read “SHIGANSHINA COUNTY PENITENTIARY”, with an address beneath.  The letter was made out to… _Armin Arlert._

 _‘What?’_ Jean blinked, hazel eyes widening _. ‘…Why’s Armin getting a letter from a prison?’_ Jean furrowed his brows together and glanced over his shoulder. His friends were already heading towards the double doors that led to the parking lot.

“C’mon Jean! We still gotta pick up the others!” Connie called out to him as he pushed the door open.

“Gimme a sec.” Jean turned his eyes back on the letter and cleared his throat. “..Hey, Armin… you have a letter. Looks kinda important.” He held the envelope up between his middle and forefinger as he caught his gaze.

Armin, who was already halfway out of the door, paused to look back at him. He tilted his head and hummed in a dismissive manner. “I’ll look at it when we get back.” And then he was gone, saying something about how Jean needed to _hurry up._

Jean sighed, giving the letter one last glance before tucking it back into the box and locking the door. If Armin didn’t want to look at it, he supposed there was nothing that could be done until the weekend was over. Still, curiosity plagued his mind as he grabbed his surfboard and bag and jogged a little to catch up to his friends, who were already walking towards the black Pilot at the end of the lot.

* * *

> _Friday, July 25 th, 10:04am_

Jean cringed at the noise that sounded when Sasha practically slammed her palm into the steering wheel; blowing the horn for what had to be for like _five whole seconds_ before the door to the house they were parked in front of flung open.

“Jesus Christ, Sasha!” Eren cried out as he made his way down the path that divided his _expansive_ yard, a suitcase rolling behind him. “I heard you the first three times!”

“Then what took you so long?” With a grin, Sasha leaned her elbow out of the window as she pushed her aviators up to her hairline.

Mikasa emerged from the house after him, slinging her overnight bag across her shoulder as the pair walked towards the truck. Jean peeked at Armin as he leaned out of his own window to wave at his friends, and he internally thanked himself then for choosing the middle seat. Having Krista and Armin on either side of him meant Eren would be forced to the back and thus wouldn’t be hoarding Armin’s attention for the entirety of the damn car ride.

He leaned back into the suede of his seat as Mikasa and Eren loaded into the back to join Annie, who was curled up towards her window with her 3DS.

“Can we stop at the McDonald’s we passed on the way here?” On Jean’s right, Krista blinked and reached out to tap Sasha’s shoulder. “I really want a hash brown...”

“Breakfast ended like... five minutes ago.” Sasha practically whined as she looked to the clock next to the dashboard. “But hell yes. I want a Big Mac.”

“Of course you do.” Jean snorted a laugh and whipped out his iTouch. He’d wanted to show Armin… -- well actually, he wasn’t sure _what_ he wanted to show him. He just wanted to talk to him, really. But when he looked over, Armin was already twisted around and chatting away with Mikasa and Eren. Jean swallowed a grumble and sank a little in his seat.  He should have expected that.

One would think they’d be done after a while, _but fuck_. It only worsened when everyone got their McDonald’s. Eren had made an obnoxious show about how he didn’t eat that “processed bullshit”, but the prick proceeded to allow Armin to feed him French fries while Jean just watched from a seat over, biting into his filet almost violently. He’d only blinked away from them when he felt a tiny hand on his forearm, and Krista leaning in to ask him if he was okay.

“M’fine.” Jean had assured her, mouth full of what McDonald’s tried to pass off as cod fish.

But to be frank, Jean wasn’t so sure if he was. And he couldn’t fathom _wh_ y it bothered him so much. He didn’t like Armin that way. And he and Eren were friends… like _childhood friends_. Of course their relationship would be that strong. But Jean could do without the displays of affection that sort of made him wonder if a friendship was all that was between them.

And then he remembered they were going to be sharing a bed, and he felt himself cringing again.

* * *

> _Friday, July 25 th, 12:41pm_

“Armin, what the hell?”

Armin tore his eyes away from his book and met two long, finely-haired legs planted at his side. He sat his book down on his towel and glanced up, catching the downcast gaze of a _very wet_ Jean.

“What?” Armin drew in a breath and shifted to lean on his thigh. “What’s the matter?”

Jean’s brows were furrowed, arms folded over his chest as he crouched down so they were at eye level. Armin caught the wisp of some sort of marking on his lower hip, just before the hem of his trunks. _‘Does... does he have a tattoo?’_ For some reason this surprised him. Armin didn’t peg him as the type to have a tattoo -- and on his hip, at that. He idly wondered the story behind it.. 

“Why are you sitting here by yourself? Everyone’s out there.” Jean pointed his finger in front of them, where all their friends seemed to be having a field day playing around in the water. Armin jutted out his lower lip as he turned back to the other boy. He _did_ get in the water when they’d all arrived, but after spending an hour getting knocked over by those waves (and thrown around by Mikasa and Eren) Armin was tuckered out and wanted to continue his reading. Besides, basking in the ambience of this place was more than enough; the weather was lovely, the sky clear, and the saltiness that clung to the air was somehow calming to his senses.

The blonde bent his knees and crossed his legs at the ankle, lips parting to respond. But they were interrupted by an unfamiliar woman jogging up to them.

“Hey! Don’t I know you?”

Her question was directed to Jean, who slowly stood and began rubbing at his nape. Both boys looked the woman up and down. She was dressed in a blue surf-suit with a board of her own tucked under her arm. Her skin shaded light brown, and she had a dust of freckles over her cheeks and the bridge of her nose.

“Uh..” Jean’s eyes went squint, as if trying to place her face in his mind. “Oh—shit. Ymir?”

 _Ymir_ snorted and pushed her surfboard into the sand. “Long time no see, Jeen.”

“It’s _Jean_.”  

“Sorry, man.”

Armin watched them converse, feeling extremely awkward yet again. This scene seemed to play often; Jean would run into someone he knew and Armin would be left out. The blonde heaved a sigh and began to reach for his book again, but a voice made him pause.

“So are you gonna introduce me to the cutie?” Ymir glanced at Armin with a small smile on her lips.

Armin blinked, drawing his hand back and looking at Jean in expectance. But the brunet boy just smirked.

“I thought we already knew each other, Ymir.”

His words pulled a snort from both Armin and Ymir, and Armin gave Jean a look as he rose to his feet _. ‘God, he’s such a dork..’_ He shook his head and giggled softly.

“I’m Armin. Nice to meet you.”

“Ymir.”

Armin’s gaze went to her surfboard for a moment, then returned to her face. “You surf?” His eyebrows rose.

“Yep.” Ymir nodded and gave a small poke to Jean’s side. “I’ve beat this kid out in competitions for two years straight.”

“Oh, fuck off!” Jean barked at her, baring his teeth and slapping her hand away with a jerk. “It was fucking close, each time.”

Armin grinned at this. He took a step closer to Jean and gingerly brushed his fingers over his forearm. “She beat you, huh?” His tone grew teasing as he tilted his head up to look at him. “I thought you told me you were good at surfing.”

The look Jean gave in response was _absolutely priceless_. It was a hybrid between a pout and a snarl, and his arms were crossed all defensively. _Cute_. Armin’s grin broadened a bit.

“I _am_ good, but it’s not fair when you put me up against a fuckin’ professional.” Jean muttered spitefully and turned his eyes away from them.

“No need to sulk, Kid.” Ymir snickered, petting his shoulder in a flimsy attempt at consolation before her head shot around and her eyebrows nearly hit her hairline.

“.. _Holy shit_.”

Both Armin and Jean followed her gaze. Krista was hiking her way up the small slope that led back from the shore, her arms stretched above her head. _And_ _she was dripping wet_. Armin had to swallow his breath.

“Who is _that_?” Ymir’s mouth formed a small “o”. “Is she with you guys?”

Jean narrowed his eyes and tsk’d quietly. “What’s it to you? And pick your jaw off the floor, bro.”

Armin just laughed, turning his head to send Ymir a small smile. “Her name’s Krista.”

“Krista..” Ymir placed a hand on her hip. When the blonde girl approached them she was smiling, her eyes shifting from Jean, to Armin, and finally settling o Ymir.

“Uh, hello.” She lifted her hand in a wave. “I’m Krista.”

If they’d been in an anime just then, there’d probably be little daisies fluttering around Krista’s head. Armin had to bite his lip to refrain from laughing as Ymir made her fumbled attempt at a greeting. Jean noticed her struggle too, because he was smirking and looked like he was on the verge of saying something he probably shouldn’t.

“I’m Ymir.” She finally managed, waving back at the much-shorter girl. “..You know this loser?” Her hand was gesturing to Jean, who hissed.

Krista looked to Jean and patted him on the arm. That was really the best she could do, anyway. The girl was practically a dwarf. “Jean’s not a loser! But I am with him… I mean, not _with him_.” She blinked and blew out a small chuckle. “He and Armin are friends.”

It was odd, but Armin felt a small twinge of joy when she referred to him as a _friend._ He found himself smiling again as he observed Ymir try to ask her something else – Armin presumed she was probably trying to get her to go somewhere with her --  in the most wordy and scatter-minded way possible, and _God,_ if Armin hadn’t been so shy he probably would have stepped in and blurted it out for her. But Jean seemed to already be on the case.

“This is getting exhausting to watch, fucking Christ.” Jean sighed in exasperation. “Look, Kris, Ymir thinks you’re cute and is trying to ask you out. Now don’t get bashful. Ymir’s pretty hot. You think so, right?”

Krista and Ymir both turned to Jean with gaping mouths, but their faces were equally as red.

“Thought so. Now just say yes to whatever she’s gonna ask before she sweats off her freckles.”

Armin keened a bit and pressed his palm to his face, shaking his head _. ‘Jean, you’re such a loser.’_ This entire situation was giving him a severe case of secondhand embarrassment. Armin almost felt a blush creeping to his _own_ face.

But despite the forwardness, Jean’s urges _did_ seem to do the trick. Because when Armin finally thought it safe enough to look up again, Ymir and Krista were about to head off in another direction, and Jean was watching them, looking something like a proud parent.

“Well there’s my good deed for the day.” Jean chuckled to himself and dusted his hands together.

Armin rested his palm on his shoulder, giggling. “You could have been a _smidge_ more subtle.”

“I’m not one for wasting time. What can I say?”

“Pfft.” Armin dropped back down on his towel and grabbed for his book, only for Jean to plop in front of him, so close that their knees clanked. The blonde yelped in surprise.

“What now?”

“I’m not letting you sit here and read. _We’re at the beach_.” Jean’s eyelids lowered. “You wanted to go, remember?”

“Of course I remember.” Armin rested his hands beside his thighs and leaned forward. “Lots of people read while at the beach, Jean. It’s relaxing.”

“Yeah but.. you look all pitiful and lonely.” The taller boy furrowed his brows.

Armin blinked. He was a bit taken aback by his words, but nevertheless he smiled, his head tilting to the side. “Lonely, huh?” Armin decided to test the waters and take a leap: be a little flirty, because why not? “Then… keep me company.” He sunk his teeth into his lower lip. “I mean if you want to.” _‘Wow real smooth, Armin. Real smooth.’_

“You want me to keep you company?”

Armin had expected Jean to be smug about it but he seemed genuinely surprised – and a little happy – by the suggestion. He crossed his legs on the beach towel and rested his arms on his legs. “Sure thing.”

Armin smiled and scratched his cheek with his index finger, feeling more than a little sheepish. His gaze once again lowered to the marking on his hip. He could ask him about it now, right? “...So… I have a question.”

“What’s that?” Jean blinked.

“You have a tattoo on your waist, right?” Armin could tell by the warm sensation in his cheeks that he was blushing, but at that moment he’d ignore it. His curiosity had gotten the best of him.

Jean’s eyes shifted downward as well. “O-Oh.. you can see it?”  When he looked back to Armin he was grinning really big, and Armin couldn’t help but dawn one of his own. _‘This dork..’_

“It’s an anchor. I got it when I turned seventeen.” Jean seemed hesitant for a moment before he lifted his hips off the towel and nudged his swim trunks down a tad, allowing Armin a full view of the tattoo. By now the blonde was sure he was red all the way down to his collarbone, but so was Jean, he noticed.

“Wow it’s..” Armin had to swipe his tongue over his lip to keep his eyes _only_ on the tattoo, but it was difficult. Out of the peripheral of his vision he could see the light trail of hair that started beneath his naval and ran south, and the defined lines of flesh that outlined it.

“It’s what..?” Jean let out a breath.

“It’s nice.” _‘It’s really sexy.’_ Armin cleared his throat as his eyes returned to his face. A moment passed, and Jean adjusted his swim trunks. “Thanks.”

Both boys were beet red.

The silence that settled between them only lasted a few seconds, though, because Jean suddenly sprung himself backwards and let out a shriek so loud it caused a few nearby heads to turn. Armin’s eyes widened and he gave him a panicked look.

“What? What’s wrong?” He looked in the direction Jean had moved from, expecting to see something _actually frightening_ , but when his eyes met a seagull pattering around the edge of the towel he couldn’t resist a laugh.

“….It’s just a seagull.”

“Nah, son, I _fucking hate_ seagulls.” Jean grumbled, his knees hugging to his chest.

 _‘God.. he’s cute.’_ Armin grinned, reaching over to shoo the bird away with his hand, then looked back at the taller boy. “But the beach is practically ridden with them.”

Jean wrinkled his nose and, once the gull flew away, he slowly made his way back onto the towel. “They’re okay when they’re far away, but that thing got too close.”

“I don’t understand.” Armin leaned on his thighs again, his legs tucked under him with his hand planted beside his hip. “They’re harmless.”

“They’re thieving little shits that poop on your funnel cakes.” Jean narrowed his eyes, and Armin could tell then he was speaking from personal experience. He reached out to pat him soothingly on the shoulder.

 “..Hey..” The blonde looked to his left, eyes settling on the array of shops that lined the area outside of the beach. There was something that resembled an ice cream parlor stuck right in the middle. “I think I can see a Baskin Robbins on the boardwalk.” He smiled. “You hungry?”

When he looked back in front of him, Jean was already standing with a toothy grin spread over his face  – not unlike the one he’d done the day they met.

“Hell fuckin’ yeah.” He chuckled. “I live for their gummy bear toppings.”

“I honestly haven’t had it in forever, but I’m craving some ice cream.” Armin grabbed the shoulder pouch that held his phone and his wallet and rose up, bumping Jean’s hip with a playful grin.

“You’re gonna owe me.”

“No fair.” The taller boy shoved him gently and began trekking through the sand towards the steps that led up to the boardwalk. “You offered.”

“And you accepted.” Armin did his best to catch up to him, but it was difficult. What would usually take a second in sand took a whole ten, and not to mention his feet were practically burning from the heat.

When they finally got up onto the boardwalk Armin tapped his finger to his chin, grinning with a sudden thought. “Hey Jean, doesn’t being on the boardwalk remind you of the time I whooped your butt in Monopoly?”

“…Oh _fuck off_ Armin.” Jean stuck his tongue out at the blonde, who just burst into a fit of laughter.

So much for keeping his distance. -- Armin was pretty sure he had a crush.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> excuse the mistakes. i was too excited to post this chapter so i didn't proofread it. uwu


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slow update. The Sims 4… lol. I promise I won’t take that long again. = n = I’d hate to leave you guys too curious about Armin’s letter.  
> Also I apologize if there are any mistakes! Once again i was too eager to post.

> _Saturday, July 26 th, 5:58pm_

“This is so _fucking_ expensive.”

Armin leaned over a bit to get a view of the menu Jean held in his hands. “You wanted to go here, remember?” He pointed out with a grin, tracing his finger around the rim of his glass as he skimmed the list of different burger variations on the laminated paper. “Local restaurants are always expensive.”

“Yeah but this is a little ridiculous.” Jean shook his head. Armin chuckled as he took another sip of his raspberry tea and glanced across the booth at Eren and Connie. Their noses were still buried in their own menus.  

The restaurant had been spotted during their ice-cream-run-turned-scour-of-the-boardwalk the day before. It was a local everything-joint by the name of “Charlie’s”, complete with its own salad and buffet bars. Jean didn’t trust buffets, though. To quote him verbatim, “I don’t want people breathing on my food. That’s fuckin’ gross.” Connie had just laughed and commented on how he’d always been that way, and Armin whined on about how he considered buffets to be luxuries. But Jean’s offer to treat him had shut that right up.

“Is this your way of saying you wanna leave?” Eren’s eyes flicked up from his menu. “Because if you want to, by all means, go.”

Armin saw the retort that sat ready on Jean’s lips, but his attention was pulled to the screen of is phone when it lit up and chimed with a new text message. He plucked the device from the table and scanned the lock-screen.

 **[ SMS from: Mikasa** ♡ **]**   I’m picking up some skincare items from this spa. Anything specific you want?

Armin smiled, his head tilting a bit as he pondered Mikasa’s question. As a birthday present, Sasha’s mother had surprised her daughter with a reservation at some luxy day spa only twenty minutes away from the hotel they were staying at. Sasha had gotten openings for Mikasa, Annie and Krista too – which meant the girls were gone for the day and Armin, Connie, Eren and Jean were left to their own devices. Mikasa had specifically told Armin to keep an eye out and ensure Jean and Eren wouldn’t kill each other.

The blonde’s lips pursed together as he typed up his reply.

 **[ SMS to: Mikasa** **♡ ]** Anything apricot or peach flavoured please. (o^^)o

 **[ SMS to: Mikasa** **♡ ]** I’ll pay you back.

 

 **[ SMS from: Mikasa** **♡ ]** No need.

Armin furrowed his brows. A moment later and he’d half-typed a message insisting to Mikasa that he was going to pay her back regardless of what she said, but a hand on his arm made him look up.

“Ready to order, Armin?” Jean asked, brown eyes blinking at him expectantly. Now that Armin was paying attention, Jean’s eyes were really… nice. Like a warm honey-brown. They kind of reminded him of the way his grandfather had always put way too much creamer in his coffee…

“Um,” He swallowed and shifted his gaze to the waiter that was standing at the edge of their booth. He’d already taken down everyone else’s order and was now waiting on him. “A baked potato... and a side of mac and cheese, please.”  He handed his menu over to him, and the other boys followed suit.

The water took a moment to jot down what he’d said. “You guys’ food should be here in a half hour or so, okay?” He tucked his pen behind his ear before jogging off in the direction of the double metal doors Armin presumed to be the kitchen.

“We should have gotten mozzarella sticks as an appetizer.” Eren sighed in longing, his elbows resting on the wood of the table’s surface. Connie nodded in agreement and rubbed his stomach a few times. “Or hot wings. I’m _really_ hungry.”

“Go get something from the buffet.” Armin suggested. “It’s all you can eat.”

“Too bad Sasha’s not here.” Connie chuckled to himself. “She’d be having a field day.”

Eren glanced over his shoulder and towards the buffet bar that was a little ways away from their booth. It looked as if something else had caught his eye other than the food, though, because after a second his expression turned into something Armin couldn’t quite place.

“Shit! Is that _Ms. Ral_?” Eren gasped.

_‘Who’s…?’_

“Ms. Ral?” Both Connie and Jean said in unison, their gazes jerking in the direction Eren was looking at.

Sheer curiosity provoked Armin to do the same. What he saw was a rather petite woman with strawberry blond hair walking in the direction of their booth. She was dressed smartly, like she was about to attend some fancy soiree in Stohess or something.

“Hey, Ms. Ral!” Eren beckoned her over, and the woman caught his gaze. A smile made its way onto her lips and she did her best to speed-walk towards them in the pumps she wore.

“Eren, Connie, Jean!” She exclaimed, her hand resting on her chest as she let out a breath of surprise. “I haven’t seen you boys in ages!”

Armin blinked, once again feeling left out of the loop. How the hell did they manage to know someone _everywhere_ they went? It was unreal, and a little off-putting. He knew they didn’t mean to make him feel left out, but it happened more often than not. The blonde gave an inward huff and returned his attention to his phone, deciding to respond to Mikasa’s text as not to seem too miserable.

 **[ SMS to: Mikasa** **♡ ]** I’m paying you back, so hush.

 **[ SMS to: Mikasa** **♡ ]** BtwI don’t want to impose on your fun but I’m really lonely. ;;

He chewed on his inner cheek. _‘Please respond._ ’ A moment passed, and then,

 **[ SMS from: Mikasa** **♡ ]** Did they go somewhere and leave you behind?  -_-

Armin smiled.

 **[ SMS to: Mikasa** **♡ ]** No, nothing of the sort! We’re out eating and they bumped into someone they know. Needless to say, I’m not enjoying myself rn.

Armin decided to look up and see if the woman had left, but no. She was still there, and she’d parked herself next to Eren on the other side of the booth. That bench was _not_ meant for three people.

“This is Armin, me and Connie’s roommate.” He heard Jean say matter-of-factly. One of his hands rested on his shoulder, and the blonde forced a smile to his lips.

The woman extended her arm. “Hi Armin! I’m Petra. I was their sophomore gym coach.”

 _‘Ah.’_ That explained it. Armin was sort of wondering why they were so well-acquainted with someone who looked like she was in her mid-twenties.

“Hi, Petra,” Armin said, giving her hand a gentle shake, “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too!” The woman was grinning as she drew her hand back. “You look the most together out of everyone here. Keeping my boys in check?”

Armin had to giggle at that.

“Too cruel, Ms. Ral.” Connie groused.

“You can call me Petra now, silly.” She chuckled, leaning across Eren a bit so she could look him in the face. “You _are_ alumni.”

“That makes us sound old.” Jean snorted playfully, lightly sipping at the glass of Sprite that sat before him. “We’re not even twenty yet.”

Petra peered across the table at him. “Are you implying that _I’m_ old, Jean?”

“Ignore that rat-bastard.” Eren rolled his eyes. “You’re still really pretty for your age.” His cheeks reddened a bit as he spoke, but he tried to play it off by running a hand through his hair.

“For my age.” Petra repeated the last part of his statement with a shake of her head. “Thank you, Eren. You were always the best-behaved. Well… when you and Jean weren’t trying to gouge each other’s eyes out.”

Armin snickered and turned his eyes back on his phone. Mikasa had yet to reply.

“Oi, Petra.”

An unfamiliar voice caused him to tilt his head up. There was a man standing at their table now, but it wasn’t the waiter, and his attire definitely did not say “employee”. He was dressed in crisp white button-down and grey slacks. Armin could see the distinct Versace logo on his belt-buckle. _‘Is everyone here loaded or something? Christ...’_

 “Oh, Levi.” Petra instantly rose up, and Armin noticed then that they were relatively the same height. Well they would be, but Petra’s heels gave her a few inches. In the back of his mind he remembered that name being dropped somewhere before. _‘Wait… Levi as in… Mikasa’s cousin Levi?’_ He glanced across the table at Eren. The expression he wore definitely confirmed Armin’s suspicions; he was staring dumbly at the older male with wide eyes.

“Hello, Eren.” Levi tilted his head in acknowledgement, and Armin sort of noticed his gaze lingering for a little longer than it had to. But maybe that was his imagination.

Petra looked between them, clearly confused. “You two know each other?”

“He’s.. Mikasa’s cousin.” Said Eren, looking as if he was having a bit of trouble believing the situation himself.

The words clearly roused Jean and Connie’s attention, because both boys inclined forward.

“Mikasa?” Jean asked.

“You’re related to _Mikasa_?” Petra stared at Levi in disbelief. “She was one of my students!”

Levi, however, remained completely composed. He tucked his hands into his pockets and let his gaze drag over each occupant of the table, before his eyes finally settled back on Eren, then he looked to Petra.

“I wasn’t aware of it myself, until a month or so ago.” He sighed, clearly bored. “Anyway, Petra, we’re going to be late. I’m going to grab a salad. Wait in the car for me?”

“Y-yeah..” Petra nodded her affirmation and watched for a moment as he turned on his heel and started off in the opposite direction. Eren was watching him too – practically _leering_ at the man’s back. And not subtly, either. Armin looked back at his phone. Still no reply.

“…Are you and that guy an item?” Connie asked, his fingers drumming at the table.

Petra seemed slightly unsettled by his question. “Oh God, no!” She shook her head furiously. “Levi’s kind of like an older brother to me. Been that way since we were in school.” She smiled. “And he worked under my father when he was in the military.”

“The military...?” Eren turned back around and sat properly in his seat. “Mikasa never mentioned that.”

“Yep! He enlisted straight out of high school.”

Her words sank in, and then it got quiet. Eren, Jean and Connie all stiffened. Armin was left completely clueless. _‘What’s… going on?’_ He looked around the table. Eren and Connie both looked a little perturbed, while Jean just looked kind of melancholy. He noticed a slight trembling in his fingers, too. Armin wanted to ask what was wrong, but the question died on his lips. Luckily Petra’s next words seemed to cause a change in the mood.

“Anyway, I should be going.” The woman carded her hand through her hair, then rested it on her hip. “Levi and I have a gala to attend.”

“Leaving so soon?” Connie let out a playful whimper. Eren’s spirits seemed to lift as well. But when Armin turned back to Jean, it was clearly evident he was still bothered by whatever had just happened. Armin almost wanted to reach out and hold his hand. But he refrained.

“Sadly.” Petra leaned in and took a moment to ruffle each boy on the head, then stood upright again. “Until next time, boys!”

Eren, Connie and Armin waved. Jean regarded her with a nod.

And then she was gone.

“She got a lot hotter since the last time I saw her.” Connie said, chuckling. Jean’s eyelids finally lifted from their lidded position and he took a few sips of his soda. “Can’t believe cute little Ms. Ral is friends with such a creepy guy..” He tilted his head. “And someone who’s related to Mikasa, at that. Small world.”

Armin shrugged. “I don’t think Levi’s creepy. He just seems kind of stoic.”

“Kind of?” Connie cocked an eyebrow.

Armin tsk’d and looked to Eren for his input, but his head was once again turned towards the buffet. Levi was walking back towards them with a Styrofoam box in his hand.

Jean blinked. “He’s… coming over here.”

“Man, that guy’s _spooky_.” Connie shook his shoulders a little. “I bet he’s telepathic, and is reading all our thoughts about him.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Armin outright laughed at Connie’s conclusion. “He’s probably heading for the restroom.”

But Levi didn’t pass their table. He stopped, standing right next to the bench where Eren and Connie sat. Everyone’s eyes were on the older man.

“Eren.” He said his name firmly.

Eren’s eyes shot up towards him. Armin noticed the tops of his ears redden slightly. _‘Cute.’_

“Yeah?” He stabbed his teeth into his lip and unconsciously began toying with the golden key pendant that hung around his neck. “…Did you need something, Levi?” 

Everyone watched as Levi’s hand dropped into the pocket of his pants and revealed a small card. Peering closer, Armin could see words printed in some regal-looking script. _‘A… business card?’_

“What’s this?” Eren asked, his eyes on the card as Levi offered it out to him. Though he was clearly uncertain, not a moment passed before Eren accepted it. Levi didn’t bother replying to his question. Instead, he said, “Call me sometime.” And that shocked _everyone_.

Armin looked to Jean, whose jaw had gone slack. Connie’s eyes were nearly bulging out of his head. Eren cleared his throat, smoothing his hand over his nape as his eyes left Levi out of pure embarrassment. “….You… want me to call you?” The blush had now spread from his ears to his cheeks, and was threatening to creep down his neck as well.

“Perhaps you need a hearing aid, Eren.” Levi heaved a small sigh. “I’d like to go out with you. If it’s alright with you, and your protection squad here.” Steel blue eyes traveled over Connie, Armin, and then Jean. Eren swallowed and quickly read over the card, then looked back up to Levi, voice a bit shaky. “I’m not so sure Mikasa will be okay with this.”

Levi stared, unruffled. “Are you making excuses now? You don’t want to? Because if not, give me the card ba—“

“No!” Eren’s hand shot up. “No, no.. I’d love to go out with you, Levi.” The shakiness had more or less dissipated now. There was that determined glint in his eye that Armin had come to adore so much about his friend.

“Good.” The older man’s mouth twitched slightly upward. “We can discuss a formal outing when we’re both back in town.” He reached his hand up to straighten his tie. “See you around, then, Eren.”

“..Bye.” Eren smiled and nodded to him, watching intently as he walked off towards the exit and left the restaurant. When he turned back to the table, his head sunk into his hands and a few muffled noises could be heard.

“Mikasa’s going to _kiiiiiiiilll_ you.” Jean sang, a smirk on his lips as his chin rested on his palm.

Eren lifted his hand to glare at him. “Shut the hell up.”  

Armin dragged his straw around in his glass and opened his mouth to speak, but a clap of thunder that sounded near the window caused his lips to jam shut.

“Shit.” Jean jolted, the abrupt movement causing the table to quake. Everyone had to hold onto their drinks to keep them from knocking over.

“The hell, Jean?” Connie used a napkin to wipe up a few droplets of his coffee that had spilled.

Now it was Eren’s turn to smirk. “He’s afraid of storms, remember?”

“I am not! Loud noises just freak me out.”

Armin laughed a bit and reached out to tug the curtain back that covered their tiny window. The sky had turned grey and cloudy, and the parking lot was beginning to darken with raindrops.

Bless. He loved stormy weather.

* * *

> _Saturday, July 26 th, 9:41pm_

And by the grace of some god, that gentle thunderstorm had escalated into the prequel of a hurricane. The girls had returned from their spa date just in time for the winds to kick up to a dangerous speed. Needless to say, they decided to head home a little earlier than planned.

By the time Sasha had dropped everyone off, the rain was _extremely heavy_. Connie wasn’t up for letting his girlfriend drive home alone in that mess, and it didn’t take much convincing to get her to stay the night. A few hours later and the four of them were lazily spread out in the den of the apartment, half-watching Shrek and half falling sleep on the carpeted floor.

Armin smashed a handful of popcorn to his lips, abruptly sitting up with a sudden thought. He remembered Jean saying something about a letter for him, and that it had looked important. Armin assumed it was probably something from school as he scooted towards the coffee table and the spill of mail that covered it.

He sifted through junk for a moment before stumbling upon something that definitely stood out. It was an envelope addressed to him, from… the _Shiganshina penitentiary_.

Armin’s heart sunk.

_‘What..? ..Why is he sending me things now?’_

Without disturbing the others (they were probably all on the verge of nodding off anyway), Armin warily moved to his feet and shuffled off towards his room. His heart was racing a mile a minute now, and he tried his best to search for a reason _he_ might want to contact him again. But nothing came. They’d not spoken for at least a year. And even when they _were_ talking, Armin wouldn’t say they were on the best of terms.

He entered into his room and plopped down at the edge of his bed. A myriad of emotions whirred through his mind; the unease of opening the letter, the anxiety surrounding what it even said, the terror he felt when he imagined how he might react. Armin blinked a few times and tried to steady his labored breathing.  

A minute had to have passed of him just staring at the thing before Armin finally gulped and nudged the flap open with his finger. The paper inside was folded into three, and he could see the letter was pretty long.

 _‘What could he possibly want with me now?’_ The blonde’s eyes squeezed shut for a moment, trying his best to calm down. But he couldn’t. His fingers shook, his pulse was on _fire_. Every nerve-ending on his body was electrified with fear.

Carefully, he unfolded the paper.

As he read the first line, his entire being was already racked with dread.

_Mr. Arlert, this letter has been sent to inform you that Kurt Arlert (Inmate ID Number 4430581) has taken his own life at 17:40 on Friday, July 24 th 2014\. _

_‘I….oh my God.’_

Armin let the paper fall into his lap and he clutched the chest of his t-shirt.

_‘…Oh… my God..’_

He couldn’t bring himself to read the rest of it. Instead he ran his free hand over his face. His fingers were trembling even more now. How should he handle this news? Part of him thought he should probably celebrate, but the other, more forgiving and human part of him felt like he was on the verge of heaving. Yes, that man had done some _awful, unspeakable_ things. For sure. But he was still his father regardless, and Armin still felt a wave of sadness wash over him as he relayed the words in his mind.

_‘He took his own life? ..How could he? ..What would have provoked him to do it?’_

Armin wouldn’t allow himself to believe he felt guilty. There was no way he could have. In all the times they’d spoken, Kurt had just seemed… detached and dismissive, never once remorseful for his actions. At the time it had infuriated Armin, to the point where he nearly struck him through the glass window that had divided them during every one of their meetings. But he’d always held it in. He told himself he was visiting him out of common courtesy.

_Courtesy he never deserved._

Before Armin knew it, his eyes were brimming with tears. He didn’t know what he was crying over, exactly. Was he crying because Kurt was dead? Because he was pissed that he never did proper penance for what he’d done? Or because the sole mention of his name unearthed countless memories Armin could definitely do without? Probably all three.  

He reached both his hands up to his face and cradled it. Light sobs soon turned into heavy bawls, and in the back of his mind Armin knew he was probably being loud enough to stir the others’ attention. But he couldn’t really bring himself to care. He just dropped onto his side on the mattress and tucked his knees, curling in on himself.

At that moment, all he wanted to do was shut out the world.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh, finally. A pivotal moment in the plot! c:


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again.~ A bit of a time skip has happened btw. I predict this chapter might be really long…
> 
> You know I see in a lot of fics the authors usually reply to their readers in the comments and even though I don’t do that (I like to measure the number of comments I actually have so) I really appreciate all of you guys for following my story. c: Just thought I should tell you.

 

> _Saturday, August 9 th, 10:12am_

Jean swam his spoon through his Fruity Pebbles, a small sigh leaving his lips. His eyes were glued to the pasty wall next to the refrigerator. He was tired – exhausted, really – but for the last two days, sleep hadn’t come so easily. For the last two days Jean had been kept up at night, worrying like a madman over a situation he had no control over. He shifted his eyes to the left, and nearly lost his breath for the second time that morning.  

Tucked under a magnet on the fridge door was a letter. From Armin. It had been posted there nearly two weeks ago. Jean had probably memorized the damned thing by now, but still every time he read it he felt a pang in his heart.

 

> _Dear Jean and Connie,_
> 
> _A family emergency suddenly came up. I need to stay somewhere else for a little while. Eren and Mikasa are with me, so please don’t worry. I’ll be back in a few days!_
> 
> _\- Armin_

“A few days”, he’d said. Clearly Armin had been lying. A few days after that letter was written, Jean had been hopeful that he would indeed return when he said. That he’d take three or four days to himself and then come back, and everything would revert back to normal. But then “a few days” stretched on to a week, and then another few days passed by. Now it had been twelve days since Armin left, and Jean was on the verge of losing it.

It didn't help that Armin had shut off his phone for the entire duration of this mess. Jean had left him countless voice mails by now, sent a billion texts. He even tried getting a hold of him through Eren and Mikasa, which proved to be equally as hopeless. They’d answer the phone, say something like “He’s fine, give him time”, and then hang up.

All Jean wanted was to hear Armin’s voice again, or at least to have some sort of firsthand assurance that he was okay.

Without even realizing, Jean had stood from the table and carried his near-full bowl to the sink. He dumped the cereal down the garbage disposal, knowing full well that he was being wasteful. If Sasha were here she’d be bitching at him for it. But Jean couldn’t bring himself to really care. He set the bowl and spoon in the sink and moved rather lethargically through the apartment to his bedroom. 

He really needed something to take his mind off of Armin. He thought about going somewhere, but Connie was working, Eren was – well he didn’t really want to think about where Eren was – and the rest of his friends were probably asleep or wouldn’t want to be bothered with hanging out so early in the day.

_‘..I guess I could finish that piece I started...’_

Once inside his room, his eyes shifted towards his desk. His MacBook sat atop it with his tablet plugged up to the USB port. He remembered the fanart request he’d received on his Tumblr, and that he was already halfway finished with it. Jean supposed working on that would do a pretty good job at putting his mind at ease.

He padded across the room and sat down in the plastic desk chair, running his finger over the touchpad to get his monitor to light up. Photoshop was already open. A half-drawn sketch of Korra and Asami sat before him, ready to be finished and colored. Jean was about to grab for his tablet when he noticed the blue Skype icon on his start bar. Suddenly he felt the urge to cheek and see if anyone was online.

He opened Skype and immediately looked through his list of contacts. Sasha, Annie, Reiner.. _Armin?_ Jean was sure his breathing stopped for an instant. _‘Armin is online…?’_   There was an ‘away’ symbol next to his name, but still… he was _logged in_. There was some evidence that he was alive.

Jean’s heart was doing somersaults in his chest. With a shaky breath, he clicked on Armin’s username and opened their chat.

What would he even say? How should he greet him?

Before he knew it, his fingers were moving on their own accord.

 **jean.kirsch:** Armin?

He held his breath. Ten seconds went by. Nothing. Jean was about ready to give up and return to his pathetic sulking. But then... something happened. The little pen at the bottom of the chat began to move, signifying that Armin was typing a response. Jean gasped. His hand pressed to his heart to steady himself. This was probably the happiest he’d felt all month.

 **Arminty:** Hi Jean.

* * *

**Arminty:** Hi Jean.

Armin stared at what he typed with quivering fingers. He instantly regretted replying. It wasn’t that he didn’t _want_ to talk to Jean. He did, and honestly not talking to him as regularly as he used to was driving him crazy. But he just… wasn’t ready to come home yet, nor was he willing to explain what exactly was going on. And he knew those were the two main things that were probably on his friend’s mind.

 **jean.kirsch:** Are you ok? I’ve been trying to contact you for ages...

 **jean.kirsch:** Sorry if I’m bothering you.

Armin sighed and ran a hand over his face. _‘…Stop being sweet… now’s not the time.’_ Really, it was the worst possible time for this. Armin would admit he had ample time to mourn his father’s passing – well considering the circumstances, he probably shouldn’t call it ‘mourning’, exactly; it was more like accepting what happened and trying to move on – but now he was caught in a whole nother predicament. Armin just couldn’t talk to Jean when his shoulders felt so heavy. He wouldn’t allow himself to be a burden.

What felt like five minutes passed before Armin finally decided to respond. He’d do his best to seem okay, but also convey to Jean that he just… _couldn’t_ talk to him. As much as it stung.

 **Arminty:** I’m sorry for leaving so suddenly. And for not talking to you for so long….

 **Arminty:** But please understand that I’m going through a really difficult time right now and it’s hard for me to be around people that aren’t my immediate family.

Armin hung his head for a moment.

 **Arminty:** I’m sorry. :/

He chewed at his lower lip and signed out before he had a chance to read Jean’s response. Armin’s chest suddenly felt like it weighed a ton. He rested his elbows on his desk and cradled his head in his palms, taking in a few breaths to try and calm himself down again.

 

Two days after his father’s death, Armin asked Eren and Mikasa to accompany him to the prison so he could pick up his father’s things that were fetched from his cell. It wasn’t much: just a few old books and random novelties, but still. He needed the moral support. (Eren suggested he burn them straight away, but Armin was unsure.) The whole thing had taken the majority of the day – the commute and the actual process --, and by the time it was over all three of them were starved. It was when they decided to hit the local diner that _it_ happened.

* * *

 ‘..Is that..?’

_Armin didn’t notice his fork slipping from his fingers until he heard a firm clatter, and Eren question if everything was okay. He thought to answer, but when Armin opened his mouth no words would form. Instead he craned his neck to get a better view of what had caught his attention. His eyes snapped wide when he realized it was indeed who he’d thought._

_Armin dimly recognized the dark bobbed hair and gentle eyes of the woman that was perched at the other end of the diner, but he did nonetheless. All the air seemed to leave the room at that moment, and he probably would have fallen out of his chair if not for Mikasa holding onto his arm._

_“Armin?” She asked, worry evident in her tone, “What is it?”_

_Armin swallowed and felt his shoulders stutter a bit. “That’s..” He turned back to the table and looked from Eren, to Mikasa, and then down to the plate of spaghetti that sat before him. “..My mother is over there.”_

His mother. _Nifa Lange. There she was, in the flesh, just sitting there placidly eating away at her food as if_ nothing was wrong. _As if her ex-husband hadn’t just died. As if she wasn’t aware that the reason he’d done those awful things was because of her leaving them all those years ago._

 _So what was she doing here_ now _? Had she simply come to pay her respects? Or maybe she was here for Armin’s sake? But… that wouldn’t make any sense. Armin couldn’t wrap his mind around the idea that his mother – the woman who had just up and left him when he was only seven years old – was here again, ready to resume everything as if that time gap didn’t even exist._

 _He couldn’t accept that._ He wouldn’t.

_“Your… mother?” Eren stared at Armin, utterly puzzled and a little shocked. “Didn’t she disappear when you were a kid?”_

_Armin’s chest was beginning to hurt. The load he’d already been carrying due to the loss of his father was piling on by the second. This was starting to become too much for the boy to bear._

_“I… I don’t know what she’s doing here.” His voice wavered as he momentarily closed his eyes and drew in a shallow breath. “I don’t know--”_

_“She clearly doesn’t notice you’re here.” Mikasa offered, trying to soften the air a bit. Her fingers tightened on his arm. “If she did, she’d have come over, right?”_

_“What I want to know is what she’s even_ doing _in Shiganshina.” Eren blinked to Armin for an answer, but the blonde was still too busy trying to convince himself that his mother was_ sitting right there _.  How should he even handle this? Part of him wanted to approach her, but then another part of him was wholly content in staying put and waiting for her to leave. Even if it meant passing up the opportunity to speak to her for the first time in nearly ten years._

_After a few seconds of contemplating, Armin let out a small sigh. “What do I do?” It felt odd asking. Usually he was on the receiving end on that question. But he couldn’t decide, and he didn’t want to take any action without opinions from his friends._

_Mikasa sipped on her glass of cola and turned her eyes on him. “You never know if this opportunity will present itself again. I think you should go and speak to her.”_

_“But she abandoned you.” Spat Eren, a frown on his lips. “If she’s in town and didn’t try and contact you I don’t think she wants to...” The last part of his sentence was substantially softer than the rest, as if Eren was somehow trying to spare his feelings. But Armin’s eyes had long-since become glassy._

_He turned his head to look at Nifa again. She’d finished her food now, and was directing her waiter’s attention for the check. Armin breathed in heavily._

‘It’s now or never.’

 _His next thoughts definitely surprised him. Armin found himself wondering what_ Jean _would tell him to do in this situation. That was odd, though, considering Armin’s mind had been so preoccupied lately that he hadn’t really thought about his roommate since the day he left._

 _But what_ would _Jean advise him to do? Well frankly, he’d probably tell him to “seize the moment” and go talk to her, then add some dorky line like “yolo” at the end._

‘Such a nerd...’

_If not for the situation, Armin would have smiled._

_He watched every move his mother made as she reached into her clutch and grabbed a credit card. He observed her expressions, how they were so_ scarily _similar to his own. Armin could see himself in those large doe eyes so much that it hurt._

‘…I have to do this.’

_“I’m...” He said, never once breaking the one-sided gaze, “I’m going to go talk to her.” He could feel his stomach begin to twist and coil with what he assumed to be a hybrid between excitement and fear._

_“If it gets too much for you, don’t hesitate to come back.” Eren extended his arm across the table to gently squeeze Armin’s hand. He assumed Mikasa nodded, but he didn’t see it. Armin was afraid that if he looked away he’d probably change his mind._

_He took in a steadying breath and pushed himself up, sliding out from his chair and tucking it under the tablecloth. His nerves were on fire as he began to slowly stride towards her. And as he did, he saw her head lift towards his direction. To say she looked surprised would have been an understatement._

_Nifa’s mouth fell agape, but then she shut it again and opted to fully turn in his direction in her chair. Up close, Armin could really see how young she looked. Perhaps that was why she left. Because she’d been young when she had him, and probably felt like she was being cheated out of a life she never got to live._

_“…Mom…?” Armin stumbled a bit on the word. It felt so strange being uttered from his mouth; it almost didn’t feel like he was the one saying it._

_Nifa sat her clutch down on the table and stood up, eyes wide. She was more or less as tall as he was; perhaps he dwarfed her by a centimeter or so. But it wasn’t much._

_“Armin...” She said, blinking rapidly as if trying to convince herself that he was even standing there. “You’re here.. I can’t believe it.”_

‘I’m the one who shouldn’t believe it.’

_“Did you get my email…? Is that why you came?”_

‘Email?’

_“What email?” Armin asked, a little too earnestly. Armin hadn’t received the email, but that was because he didn’t bother with checking his phone or computer in days. He didn’t really feel the need to be in touch with technology lately._

_Nifa raked her fingers through her hair, pushing her bangs back a little. “I emailed you as soon as I heard about your father...” She licked over her lip nervously. “I asked if we could speak. I—“_

_“You wanted to speak to me?” Armin couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Before he knew it, words were tumbling out of him without any hope of stopping. His eyes narrowed some. “Why…_ now _? Where were you when he went to prison in the first place? You knew. You knew what he did to me, and still you didn’t—“_

 _A hand on his shoulder hushed him. Armin stared down to the linoleum floor, feeling his eyes burning with tears so he quickly squeezed them shut. “I just… do you know how much this hurts, Mother?” His voice didn’t raise much over a whisper._ ‘Of course she doesn’t.’ _Could he even call her “mother” anymore?_

_He felt Nifa silently tugging him to sit down at her table. Armin sunk into a chair, not lifting his eyes from their downcast position. He couldn’t handle looking at her right now._

_“L-Let me explain things, please...”_

_Armin gave a slight shrug to indicate that he didn’t really care if she did or not. Armin would listen, but he was sure what she had to say wouldn’t stray too far from the cliché “I was young and stupid” sob story. He folded his hands on the surface of the table and glanced over towards Eren and Mikasa, who were both intently watching with looks of encouragement on their faces._

_“Are those your friends?” Nifa asked timidly._

_Armin turned back to his mother and bit softly at his inner cheek. “Yeah. They’re… more like my family though.” He twiddled his thumbs._ ‘Why am I even telling her this?’ _“Anyway, I think you should get on with whatever you have to say.” He looked her in the eye as she spoke. “…Our bus is scheduled to arrive in an hour.”_

_Nifa swallowed a few times and nodded. When she reached up to tuck her hair behind her ear, Armin noticed her hand shaking._

_“I suppose I should start by telling you what the email was about.”_

_Armin said nothing in response, just listened on._

_“I… well first I started out by saying you had no obligation to read it. Which you didn’t, of course.” She glanced away from him. “Armin… you don’t even have an obligation to talk to me right now. If you wanted, you could get up and leave, and I wouldn’t blame you. Nor would I try and stop you.” She sighed. “Your father’s death just… made me realize how alone you must have felt all those years without a mother. So I—“_

_“So you decided to reach out to me, after ten years.” Armin lifted his hand to wipe the tear that was threatening to fall from his eye. “_ Teen years _, Mom. You’re a little late.”_

_Nifa leaned forward and rested her face in her hands for a few seconds. “I know how long it’s been, believe me. Every single day I thought of you. But as more time passed, I felt less worthy of being in your life again.”_

_Armin inhaled and pressed his lips together to keep them from quivering. Did she even realize how screwed up his upbringing was because of her? How_ lonely _he felt?_ _How, after she’d gone, his father had tried to ‘salvage what was left of her’ and did those horrible things to Armin for three_ whole _years?_ _Of course she knew. She had to. The_ entire tri-state area _knew. It made local headlines when he got arrested. But she’d never feel his pain; she’d never know the disappointment Armin felt when he sat with his grandfather in the police station, waiting around to see if she’d show up. Even after three years, his childish naiveté had led him to believe that maybe she’d return._

_But she didn’t._

_Armin had his childhood and innocence essentially_ snatched _from him without hope of recovery, and his own mother didn’t care enough to come back for him._

_The world was cruel._

_Armin lifted his hand to his chest, feeling the increased rate of his heart as those dreadful memories threatened to resurface. He exhaled and lowered his eyelids to the table, trying his best not to think too much about it. But it was hard, considering his mother was sitting right there._

_“Mother,” He started, glancing up to her. “….What…. what made you leave in the first place? Was it me?” Honestly Armin always thought it was. He understood that maybe she felt trapped with a man she’d only married because she was pregnant, but still… wasn’t it said that mothers were meant to get attached to a child after birth? If she didn’t want Armin, she should have put him up for adoption. But no. She lied to him for seven years, and then fled one morning with her last words being “Daddy will come pick you up after school, alright? I won’t be able to make it. I’m going on a trip.” And then she was gone._

_Nifa seemed to be reading his thoughts, because the corners of her lips turned down into a deep frown. She began fiddling with her fingers nervously before replying._

_“No Armin… it wasn’t you.” She sighed. “I just felt so_ caged _. Your father and I weren’t in love. He just proposed after finding out about my pregnancy. I really… I really tried. I tried to make it work for those years. I thought maybe if I spent more time with him, love would come. But it never did and I…”  It was then that her eyes began to water. “I did something stupid. I was fed up.. I was fed up with the life I was living. At first I wanted to just leave for a few months, to have some time to myself… but then it turned into a year, and another year, and then another...” She averted her gaze from him once again, seemingly to keep Armin from seeing her tears. But he saw, and the sight caused a few of his own to squeeze out._

 _“And then I saw what he’d done on the news. I wanted_ so much _to come back. I wanted to…. I wanted to be a mother to you again. I owed you that  much. But I knew I couldn’t do it.” Nifa began rubbing at her temple, tears now sliding freely down her cheeks. “I have no excuse, except that I was young and wasn’t able to handle the responsibility of being a mother. I wanted someone more capable to take care of you. Armin, I’m…_ so sorry _for abandoning you.”_

_Armin let her words register in his mind. Like he’d assumed, Nifa’s story wasn’t too different than what he’d seen in the media of mothers trying to atone for leaving their child behind. They were all the same, really. But that didn’t stop Armin from sobbing into his hand, vision going blurry from all the tears that were spilling out._

_“Surely…” He choked after a few seconds, having to clear his throat to keep his voice from breaking. “Surely you had some suspicions of how he was...?” When Armin looked back up, he noticed his mother dabbing at the corner of her eye with a Kleenex she’d retrieved from her bag. She sniffed softly._

_“No, I never did... believe me, if I’d known I would have had him arrested.” She squeezed on the tissue in her first. “I know I can never apologize for what he did to you. For leaving you with a sick bastard like him, Armin. But I’m sorry anyway. No one deserves something like that.”_

_Armin saw her reaching across the table, and before he knew it her hand landed on his own. He gasped a little at the warmth; the softness of her hand made his heart leap. Oh, how he’d longed for that touch for so many years…. It felt_ too good _to pull away. Instead, without thinking, Armin turned his hand over and properly clasped it in his own._

‘What am I doing..?’

_He knew he couldn’t forgive her what she’d done--- well not now, but perhaps in the future. Far, far into the future – but now that she was here and it seemed like she expressed the desire to be in his life again, Armin was weak. No matter how old he got, he’d always need a mother in his life, and just having Karla around wouldn’t cut it._

_They… they could try, right?_

* * *

And try they did. Armin and Nifa spent the remainder of their meeting discussing what would have to be done to try and mend their relationship. It would be a gradual process, probably would stretch over a span of years, but Armin could tell his mother had a genuine want to be in his life again. She was willing to repay her debts, though they both knew it’d be a difficult task. There was just _no way_ Armin could relay an entire decade of his life to her.

Of course Armin had his doubts though. The woman had abandoned him after all, which had in turn instilled a great deal of insecurities and trust issues into his psych. He was torn between being totally on-board with having his mother back and being spiteful because she’d returned so late in his life.

And that was what was keeping him pent up in Eren’s guest-bedroom on Saturday morning, sat cross-legged on the bed with his laptop resting in his knees. He’d been staying with the Jaegers ever since he told Jean and Connie he was leaving. Karla and Grisha had welcomed him into their home with open arms, of course. They’d even let him use their parlor for a meeting place where he and Nifa could talk, secluded from the public eye.

She was scheduled to arrive in an hour, and Armin was all sorts of anxious.

“So what do you think about this outfit?”

Armin’s head shot towards the doorway of the room, which was now sitting wide open. Eren was standing there with one hand resting on his hip. He was clad in a pair of _really tight-fitting_ ripped jeans and a band-tee. His key pendant dangled from his neck, of course.

_‘Thank God for the distraction..’_

“It… doesn’t really look much different from your other outfits.” Armin gave one last glance to his laptop screen, then closed it and rested it on one of the pillows. Eren walked all the way into the room and did a turn so Armin could get a 3D view of what he was wearing.

“The jeans are new.” Eren wiggled his hips in a playful fashion, which caused Armin to laugh.

“Oh, yeah I can see that. Your ass definitely looks nice.”

“Thanks.” Eren snickered and sat on the bed in front of him, grabbing his phone from his back pocket.

“So… why are you dressed? Going somewhere?” Armin reached out and poked his friend’s bare knee through one of the many rips in his jeans. Eren chirped out a laugh, the sudden movement causing his Xperia to tumble out of his hands and into his lap.

“Levi asked me to go to a movie with him.” Eren tried to say that as coolly as possible – Armin could tell, but he was pretty sure the excitement that lit the boy’s eyes could be seen from a mile away. His own lips curved into a smile and he leaned closer.

“Your first date, huh?” He chuckled, “So early in the day?”

“We’re not going until later, I just wanted to try on these jeans.” Eren’s cheeks reddened slightly and he grabbed for his phone again. “And it’s not really a date… we’re just going to see a movie.”

Armin snorted and began picking at an imaginary speck of lint on his boxer shorts. Ever since they’d returned from their trip, it seemed like Levi and Eren were texting _nonstop_. And if they weren’t texting, Eren was forcing Armin to stalk Levi’s Instagram with him; analyzing and critiquing each and every  one of his forty-two pictures. “He sure doesn’t update much,” Eren had said, because his own Instagram held over a hundred. Armin had giggled and commented on how it was probably due to the fact that Levi didn’t feel the need to take a picture of _every single thing,_ like Eren did.

Like now, the brunet was fixing his hair in his frontal camera, ready to take a selfie.

“Don’t even _think_ about turning that camera over here. I look like crap.” Armin warned. He grabbed for one of the pillows on the bed and held it up over his face just in case Eren was gonna surprise him, but he didn’t. They seemed to have a silent agreement that Armin had been evading inclusion in Eren’s photos not because he didn’t like how he looked, but because of something else entirely.  

He was afraid of how Jean might react if he saw him.

At first Armin figured he didn’t really care that much; he thought he’d let Armin have some alone time for a while and then he’d come back and everything would be fine. But as the days went by, Armin started to realize more and more how much of an _ass_ he probably seemed right now. He’d been ignoring every single one of his calls and texts. Even though he read them. And each one made his heart flutter that much more because he couldn’t fathom _why_ someone he only met a little over a month ago cared for him so much.

But maybe that was why Armin liked him.

He sighed and let himself fall onto his back atop the comforter, staring up at the ceiling, only to have his view blocked a few moments later by Eren’s face.

“Armin? You okay?”

_‘No.’_

“Yes.” Armin rested his arm over his eyes as an involuntary pout made its way onto his lips. He could feel the weight on the bed shift and a presence next to him. He was pretty certain Eren was lying next to him now.

“You know…”

Armin could practically _hear_ the grin in his friend’s voice.

“Horseshit posted a new photo on his Instagram just now.”

The blonde felt his eyelid twitch. He tugged his arm away and turned his head to the side to look at Eren. He had his phone held up in the air, staring at the screen from his position on the bed.

_‘How did he …?’_

“That’s… nice.” Armin pursed his lips. He wanted to ask what of, but he wouldn’t. He was sure Eren was _well aware_ of what he’d been thinking. Otherwise, why would he even bring Jean up?

“You miss them, don’t you?”

The words caused a lump to form in his throat. “I—“

“It’s okay if you do, Ar.” Eren reached over to poke his friend in the cheek, his grin widening. “You haven’t been home in, what, two weeks now? Of course you’re gonna miss them.”  

Armin shifted his gaze away, deciding to stare at the wall at the other end of the room. _Of course_ he missed them. He missed them a lot. But he felt like Jean and Connie might be a little mad with him for prolonging his stay when he said he’d only be gone for a few days. And he knew Jean would be bothered by the fact that he’d blatantly ignored every attempt he made to contact him.

“I do miss them. You know I do, but..” Armin sighed out softly, “It isn’t that simple.”

“It’s _only_ that simple.” Eren grabbed his wrist, tugging it a few times until Armin turned back to him. “They’re your friends. You haven’t seen them in a really long time, so missing them is only natural. I mean heck, I miss ‘em too.” His eyes narrowed a little and he smirked, leaning in close. “And you like Jean, don’t you?”

_‘Damn it, Eren, when did you become so perceptive?’_

Armin had to snatch his wrist away so he could cover the bridge of his nose before Eren saw the blush that was rapidly spreading over his face. He couldn’t say anything for fear of becoming a stuttering mess. This was _not_ right. Usually, Armin could keep himself composed just fine. But here he was, practically _whining_ because someone else had pointed out his crush on Jean. Was it that obvious?

Apparently he said that last bit aloud because Eren replied with a quick, “Yes it is” and then added something about the faces Armin was making when he read all the texts Jean had sent him.

Armin sighed again and moved back into a sitting position on the bed. He was so engulfed in thoughts of trying to steer Eren off of the topic that he almost didn’t hear his next words.  

“You should go back home.”

“…You’re kicking me out?” Armin looked over his shoulder at his friend, his hand dropping when he felt his blush beginning to dissolve.

 “No. You know I love having you around all the time, but…” Eren nudged his back with his foot. “It’s been ages. I know you’re itching to see them again. You can like, run into Jean’s arms in slow-motion or some shit. Like one of those BL animes.”

“ _EREN_.”

“Chill, I was kidding!”

But Armin grabbed a pillow and smacked his head anyway. He couldn’t go home _now_. Or even today, for that matter. He already had to deal with the fact that his mother was going to be here in less than an hour. But… soon. Eren was right; he missed Jean and Connie dearly, and he knew if he didn’t return soon the situation would only worsen.

_‘….Maybe… tomorrow.’_

Armin watched as Eren picked up his phone and began tapping away at the touch screen, humming some familiar tune of a pop song that neither of them had been able to get out of their heads.

Yeah, tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I knew this chapter was gonna be hella long, sheesh.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know what would be amazing? If people actually /commented/ on this fic….

 

> _Sunday, August 10 th, 3:14pm_

“...And apparently he’s ‘ _really cool_ ’ and ‘ _has a lot in common with me_ ’, According to Iz.”

“Uh huh.”

Jean was only partly listening to his brother as he rambled on; something about a guy his girlfriend was trying to get him to befriend. Frankly Jean could care less, but he hadn’t seen his brother all summer - he was away taking courses for law school in Stohess – so he was more than willing to hang out with him. Even if the guy had a tendency to talk _way_ too much and not really know when to shut his mouth.

Currently they were walking to Jean’s apartment from the nearby subway station; Farlan had made a show about how he wanted to play GTA on Jean’s PS4.

“I don’t know how I feel about her being friends with someone so similar to me.” Farlan said, curved nose scrunching up. “I mean we’ve only been dating for a few months. What if she ends up liking him? Apparently he’s really rich too. That is _not_ a good sign.”

“Well we’re not exactly poor.” Jean added, eyes fixed on the bookstore they were passing by. There was an advertisement for some sci-fi book in the window. _Sci-fi_. Armin _loves_ sci-fi; he’d told him so one night when they both couldn’t sleep and ended up talking for hours on the couch in their living room. Jean would have smiled at the memory if he wasn’t already upset over the fact that he hadn’t seen him in half a month, and the only contact they’d shared was that flaky Skype conversation from yesterday. It was starting to feel like Armin was _never_ coming back.

Jean heard Farlan say something about how the guy seemed “too good to be true”, and then proceeded to drawl on, dropping lines about what he did for a living and what his interests were. If he was honest, it sounded like Farlan’s girlfriend was a _little too keen_ on the guy, but Jean wouldn’t say that. He hardly had the time to bud into Farlan’s relationship when his _–_ well he didn’t really know what to call Armin - had basically dropped off the face of the earth.

 _‘…Wait, what am I saying? Armin is my_ friend _.’_

Yes, his friend. Armin was Jean’s friend. They were friends and nothing else, and Jean was totally _not_ avoiding those feelings of fondness he’d been harboring for him lately.

He must have been blushing though, because he felt Farlan’s fingers pressing at his cheek while making some smug sound.

“What’s got you all flushed, Jean?”

Jean mentally cursed as he shooed his brother’s hand away. “It’s the heat.” That couldn’t have been any further from the truth though; it’d barely climbed above seventy-five degrees the entire day. Jean carded a hand through his hair and tilted his eyes down to the concrete of the sidewalk, deciding to keep his gaze focused on his walking.

“…Well anyway,” Farlan continued without missing a beat, “Later today Isabel wants me to meet him at Cosi. I feel like I’m being set up on some kind of blind date.” He rolled his eyes, or at least Jean figured he did. His eyes were still locked on his Nikes.

“What’s his name?” He dared to ask.

“I said it. Were you not listening?” His brother scoffed.

_‘No, I wasn’t actually.’_

“Levi. His name is Levi.”

That certainly caught him off-guard. Jean’s head shot up to look his brother in his grey eyes, squinting a little. Surely it couldn’t have been the _same_ Levi; the same one that was friends with Petra, related to Mikasa _and_ was apparently dating Eren?

No way. The city wasn’t _that_ small. Actually it wasn’t small at all.

Farlan noticed the slight change in his brother’s expression. “…What?”

Jean turned his eyes to look in front of them. He could see his apartment building in the near distance. “No, nothing. I just kinda know someone by that name.” He shrugged. “Pretty sure it isn’t the same guy though. That’d be a little _too_ weird...”

“It definitely isn’t.” Farlan chuckled. “ _This_ Levi’s almost thirty. Why would you even know someone that old?”

Almost thirty. Didn’t Petra mention that Levi was like an older brother to her? When he was a sophomore, she was in her early twenties…. so two years have passed. Jean wrinkled his nose _. ‘You have got to be kidding me.’_ “...Tell me,” He brought his hand up to scratch the skin around his eyebrow piercing. “Did Isabel say anything about him being weirdly short?”

“You really weren’t listening to me this whole time, were you, Kid?” Farlan nodded, a small laugh lifting his lips. “She said he’s barely an inch taller than she is. And you know Isabel’s a dwarf.”

_‘…There’s no way…’_

“This is too much of a coincidence.” Jean folded his arms over his chest.

“So you’re telling me we’re talking about the _same_ Levi?” Farlan was gawking at him now. “Seriously?”

 “Seems that way….” Jean said, “I mean, I don’t really know him personally. But he’s Mikasa’s cousin. And he’s sort of... _friendly_ … with Eren.” He couldn’t really say they were dating, since Jean didn’t know for sure.

Farlan was clearly surprised by what he said, because his eyebrows nearly hit his hairline. “What? Eren? _Eren Jaeger_?”

“Yep. We were all out eating and Levi pretty much picked him up. It was really…”

“That’s odd.” Farlan interrupted, “But then again, Eren’s always been one to attract older men hasn’t he?  I remember when you guys were freshmen and I was a senior, and he was dating one of my friends.” He shook his head. “….But…. that’s his sister’s relative….”

“They’re not biologically related, remember? And Mikasa was never actually adopted. They just took her in after her parents died.” Jean unfolded his arms so he could grab his keys from his pocket. He’d need his sensor to get them into his building; it wasn’t like he could call up, since Connie was working until five and Armin… - well Jean didn’t know where Armin was but he sure wasn’t at their apartment.

As he held the circular device up to the scanner, he glanced in his brother’s direction. “Farlan.”

“Yeah?”

“When you meet Levi tonight, don’t tell him I said anything about him.” He furrowed his brows as a ping sounded and the double doors opened before them. “To be honest he freaks me out and I don’t think he’d be happy about someone he doesn’t really know running their mouth about him, okay?”

“I thought you said you knew him though.” Farlan walked into the building after Jean and looked around.

“I said I know his name, not that I know _him._ When he was hitting on Eren he didn’t bother introducing himself to me or Connie, so…”

“Oh, I got you.” Farlan nodded and fell into step behind his brother as they walked towards the elevators. “My lips are sealed.”

“Thanks, Bro.”

* * *

 

> _Sunday, August 10 th, 3:22pm_

Armin slipped into his bedroom, one hand holding his towel up around his hips while the other tugged at the ends of his newly-dried hair. Even after his umpteenth time using it, Armin found himself fascinated by how soft the Wen conditioner Mikasa got him from that spa made his hair feel. He’d actually enjoyed the fifteen minutes spent blow-drying it. _And_ it made his hair smell amazing. Like honey-coated almonds.

Armin sat on his bed and took a moment to dry himself off. Every now and then he stole glances to the clock on his nightstand, knowing full-well he was probably being too nervy. Connie told him that Jean wouldn’t be home until later; his brother was in town and he wanted to spend time with him. And of course Armin respected that. He was just so eager to see him again.

The blonde scooted over towards his dresser and stood up. As he tugged the drawer open and grabbed for a pair of boxer briefs, he contemplated what exactly he should wear. Today the weather was fairly mild, which was odd considering the previous days were anything but. Armin had actually refused to leave the house for nearly whole duration of his stay with the Jaegers.

He stepped into his briefs and slid them up over his legs, and as he did, Armin heard the distant sound of the front door opening. _‘…Connie…?’_ No, Connie didn’t get off of work until later. _‘Then…?’_ Then the only plausible explanation was that… _Jean was home_. Armin’s eyes widened as he leaned towards the wall that faced the living room, trying to listen a little better.

“Damn, this place is nice.” He heard an unfamiliar voice say while laughing, “I’m genuinely surprised it isn’t a dump yet.”

_‘Who is that?’_

“Tch, Conne’s the messy one, not me. You should see his room. It’s a fuckin’ pigsty.”

The second voice _definitely_ belonged to Jean. Armin turned to his bedroom door and was almost ready to stroll out and greet him, but then remembered he needed to get dressed. He inhaled deeply to calm his nerves and walked over to his closet.

Armin figured the other guy must’ve been Jean’s brother. That was really the only explanation he could come up with since before Connie left for work that’s who he said Jean would be hanging with for the day. As he sifted through his clothes, Armin wondered what his brother looked like. Was he older or younger? Judging by his voice though, there couldn’t have been that much of a gap in their ages.

“What about your other roommate? Armin, was it?” Jean’s brother was saying, or at least that’s what he thought he said. It was hard to hear much with a wall dividing them. Armin sighed and grabbed a shirt by the hanger, feeling the chiffon fabric between his fingers. He didn’t really want to hear what Jean would say in response.

“I wish I knew. I haven’t seen him for a while.” Armin had to strain a bit to hear him, because his voice seemed to quieten. He felt a small twinge in his chest as he slipped the shirt over his torso and began buttoning it up from the bottom.

 “Why not?  He lives here, doesn’t he?”

“He’s been staying with family for a while. We’ve barely spoken since he left… so I don’t really know where things stand with us.”

Armin began tugging at his lower lip with his teeth as he carefully removed a pair of skinny jeans from their hanger. If only Jean knew how utterly _guilty_ Armin felt. But he supposed he wouldn’t know for sure until he told him…

“Jean, this sounds more like a lovers’ quarrel than anything else.”

Armin nearly choked on his saliva. He froze, feet rooted to the carpeted floor. He was too stunned to do anything really, partially because he was embarrassed that someone had pointed that out (again), but also because he was actually surprised that it seemed that way to someone who didn’t even know him. What kind of impression was Jean giving, he wondered?

“Oh please. It’s nothing like that!”

“But you _did_ say he was cute.”

“I said he was cute. That doesn’t mean I like him.”

 _‘…He thinks I’m cute….’_ Armin smiled as he pulled the jeans onto his legs, wiggling a bit to get the tight fabric over his thighs. Jean thought he was cute. He thought he was cute, and he _told_ someone about it. Armin closed his eyes and breathed in, his hand unconsciously moving to his chest.

 _‘He thinks I’m cute.’_ He could feel his heart rate speeding up. His smile turned into a small grin as his eyes fluttered open and he slipped some socks onto his feet. Usually, Armin was more of a pessimist when it came to these things, so he surprised himself by considering - really considering - what might happen if Jean thinking he was cute escalated into something… _more._

But perhaps he was getting ahead of himself. Armin was almost a hundred-and-ten percent sure that Jean was at least _somewhat_ angry at him. Sure Connie had been understanding about the whole thing, but something was telling him things would be different this time. So as Armin opened his bedroom door and strode out, he made a mental note not to get too excited when he saw him. He’d rather not feel disappointed if the feelings weren’t reciprocated.

 

The first thing he noticed when he entered the den was the male he presumed to be Jean’s brother crouched in front of their TV stand. He couldn’t really see much – his back was facing him – but it looked like he was hooking up some sort of console to their television. Armin tugged nervously at the buttoned sleeve of his shirt and started to round the couch to greet him, but a voice made him stop.

“Armin…?”

_‘Oh God.’_

Armin thought he’d sufficiently prepared himself for this moment but alas, when he looked up and saw Jean standing in the doorway of the kitchen, he felt weak.

“Jean…” He said, hugging around his middle as he slowly walked towards him. His roommate actually looked like he’d seen a ghost or something.

“What… what are you doing here?” Jean’s lips formed a small ‘o’.

“I live here.” Armin reached up to rub the back of his neck. He suddenly felt the urge to turn his eyes away but… he couldn’t. So he instead he lightly stabbed into his lower lip with his teeth. “I uh, I’m back. For good.”

Jean tilted his head to the side. “…Oh?” He didn’t seem all that thrilled, but perhaps that was Armin’s habit of believing the worst in nearly every situation rearing its head again. “Well it’s good to see you, Armin.” Jean’s lips curled up into a smile and he moved closer, taking Armin by complete surprise when he embraced him.

It was more an awkward hug than anything else - like the kind you’d give another member of your senior class on graduation day- so of course Armin stiffened. But he still leaned into him enough to catch his scent. Jean smelled like some sort of spice cologne and a hint of that weird smell people got when they were outside for too long. Armin couldn’t say he cared though. His arms still slipped between Jean’s to wrap around his back and he held onto him loosely.

“A _hem_. Gonna introduce me?”

It was the voice of Jean’s brother, Armin realized this when he looked up and met the gaze of a grey-eyed boy that was just about the same height and build as Jean. The only really distinct difference in their appearances was their hair color - though judging by Jean’s roots it was pretty apparent his own had been lightened. Armin instinctively pulled away from Jean and smoothed out a wrinkle in his shirt, trying hard not to blush (but when he stole a glance up to the taller boy he could clearly see a faint dash of pink on his cheeks).

_‘Cute….’_

“Armin, this is my brother.” Jean’s eye roll was anything but subtle as he gestured towards him. “Farlan, this is my roommate Armin. If that wasn’t obvious enough.”

“Hi Armin. Jean’s told me _a lot_ about you.” Farlan held out his hand and grinned, and Armin would be lying if he said he hadn’t seen that exact expression worn by Jean many times before. He tucked a lock of his hair behind his ear and gently shook Farlan’s hand. “…I’m not sure if that’s good or not, but it’s nice to meet you, Farlan.” He sort of wanted to ask what he meant by ‘a lot’, but before Armin even had a chance to form the question he noticed Jean’s hand slapping against Farlan’s arm. Hard.

 _‘They’re definitely brothers.’_ He snickered.

There was a brief pause before Farlan nodded in his direction, then pivoted on his heel and returned to his post in front of the TV. “Well now that we’re acquainted, I hope you don’t mind if I finish hooking this up.” He pointed towards the console - which Armin now realized was a PS4 - that was set on the floor.

“No it’s fine.” He chimed. Jean was covering the bottom half of his face with his hand and although he’d like to pretend he didn’t notice, the blonde definitely saw that his blush had darkened.

And then it hit him. Jean hadn’t the slightest clue as to what was going on with Armin over the last two weeks. That was probably the reason he seemed so detached. ‘… _I owe him an explanation at the very least…’_ Sighing, the blonde blinked his eyes back up to Jean and reached out to lightly grasp his forearm.

“Jean, I…”  

“What?” The brunet’s brows knitted together. Armin expected him to look bothered, but Jean’s features immediately softened when he looked at him, and Armin had to bite the corner of his lip to keep the fluttering in his stomach to a minimum.  

“Can we talk?” He asked quietly.

“…Talk?” Jean repeated the word with a tilt of his head. “Uh, sure….” He looked to his brother, who was too busy digging through a Game Stop bag to really pay any attention to them.

“In private.” Armin’s eyes went inexplicably glassy as his grip tightened on his arm. “Come with me…” He guided Jean out of the den and into the hallway, suddenly thankful his room was just a few steps away. The silence between them -even though it’d only been there for a few moments – was becoming deafening.  

He didn’t bother switching on the floor lamp as they filed inside. The curtains were drawn, so the light pouring in from his window was more than enough to suffice.

“So…” Jean took the liberty of parking himself on the edge of Armin’s bed. “What did you wanna talk about?”

 _‘You can’t be that dense. I’m sure you know.’_ Armin sighed as he joined him. He made sure to look anywhere but Jean’s face. “I feel like I should shed some light on what’s been going on.”

“Armin you don’t have—”

“No, I do.” He held up his hand. “I owe you an explanation, Jean. Just leaving like that without even telling you or Connie what happened…. That was really inconsiderate.” His voice lowered as his hand dropped and he began nervously twiddling his fingers. “I’m sorry.”

Armin looked up when he felt a hand on his shoulder. “But… your letter made it pretty obvious that something was wrong.” Jean’s thumb rubbed over the ball of his shoulder through his shirt, and oddly enough, the sensation was comforting. “We didn’t blame you, so you don’t have to apologize.”

“But I…” Armin wasn’t too sure how he should respond to Jean’s words. The main reason he’d been prolonging his stay at Eren’s was because he was afraid of facing them after such a long time apart. He thought they - Jean in particular - would be angry at him, and although the adult thing to do would have been to come home, Armin wasn’t ready to further jeopardize the relationships he’d come to cherish so much since he moved to Trost.

Though now that he thought about it, his reasoning didn’t really make as much sense as he thought it did.

“Crap.” He said, more to himself than anyone. Armin actually found himself laughing in spite of the situation. “So… just to be clear, you aren’t mad at me…?”

Jean shook his head. “I never was. I mean yeah I was upset, but that wasn’t because of you… - I mean yes, it was. I…” He blinked down to his lap, presumably so Armin couldn’t see that his cheeks were starting to redden once more. “I wasn’t _mad_ at you. I was just hurt because I hadn’t seen you for so long, y’know?”

For the first time that day, a genuine smile painted over Armin’s lips. He suddenly felt a persistent urge to just throw his arms around Jean in another hug, but he wouldn’t. Not yet, at least. Not until he said everything he needed to.

“Well… I’m still sorry.” Armin looked Jean in his eyes, staring deep into those alluring amber hues. “And I still want to tell you everything.”

“If you’re ready.” Jean nodded, and as he did, Armin realized something awful. _Jean_ was the one to tell him he had a letter in the mail. He said it seemed important. For him to come to that conclusion, didn’t it mean he would’ve had to notice the return address? _‘Oh… God… no.’_ Armin wanted to tell him _some_ things, but he already had intentions of leaving certain _uncomfortable_ bits out. That being one of them. He lifted his finger to rub the corner of his eye and huffed. _‘Well I can’t back out now…’_ “I’m… sure you have questions about the envelope I received. Am I right?”

Jean looked a little stunned by his words, but there was a twitch in his upper lip. “Uh, yeah, I do. I tried to put it out of my mind but it got me really worried…” He cocked his head to the side. “I didn’t mention it to Connie though.”

“Thanks.” Armin forced a quick smile. “It…It was my father. He passed away while incarcerated. That was the family emergency.” But now that he was thinking about it, Armin wondered if he could really refer to this as a “family emergency”, since he didn’t really have a family. Well, not a normal one at least.

He could practically see the mental gears working in Jean’s face, and for the second time in ten minutes he surprised him with affection. But this time when Jean reached for him, Armin welcomed the touch. “Shit… I’m _so_ sorry, Armin…” Jean said, his hand closing over the blonde’s in a gentle squeeze. “I have no idea what that must be like, so I can’t say I understand how you feel but… _Christ_. That’s terrible...”

Armin laughed bitterly and squeezed Jean’s hand right back. “No…. it’s okay. My father and I didn’t have the best relationship…. It just happened to unearth some really _dreadful_ memories and I needed to be with Eren and Mikasa for a while.” Armin felt a slight shiver creep through him when Jean’s finger began massaging the back of his hand. Oh, how _soft_ his skin felt… “That and my mother decided to show her face after ten years.”

And then the stunned expression returned. Jean leaned closer and planted his unoccupied hand flat on the mattress. “ _What_? Your mom wasn’t…?” He swallowed, and Armin watched his Adam’s apple bob in his throat. “This all happened over the course of these last two weeks?”

“Yeah.” Armin sucked his lower lip into his mouth and sighed. “She just… _showed up_.”

“Fuck. What happened?” Jean was blinking rapidly now and honestly, it seemed like he was more invested in this conversation than Armin was. But of course that wasn’t the case. It was just that Armin was so tired of feeling devastated and broken over what happened; he was pretty much tuckered out in the emotions department.

“We talked.. I mean after the initial shock settled.” Armin began fiddling with the button on his sleeve again. “She’s back in my life for now... But it’s still hard for me to get used to.”

“Of course it’s going to be hard…” Jean said, sporting a slight curve in his lips that sort of resembled a smile. ‘ _Why’s he smiling…?’_ Armin parted his lips to ask but before he knew it, the room got a whole lot warmer and he was back in Jean’s arms. At first he tensed and made a move to push him away, but Jean’s surprisingly strong grip held him captive, and Armin realized it was futile.

“J-Jean…” He sighed out his name as his own arms timidly wrapped around his shoulders, all but melting when he felt hands massaging the length of his back. Armin wasn’t sure what he wanted to say, but he needed to gain some sort of control over the situation. He _hated_ that Jean was able to make him weak with just a simple touch, and not to mention he had no idea he was even doing it.

But when he tried, there was nothing Armin could do. He physically _could not_ bring himself to pull away, so instead he just rested his cheek against his collarbone and sighed in defeat, letting himself be lulled by the gentle caresses Jean was delivering to his spine.

“…Armin?” He heard him call out after a moment passed. The blonde tipped his head up to him with raised brows, and he immediately spotted the blush that now entirely covered Jean’s face. He couldn’t contain a giggle. “Yes?”

But Jean, on the other hand, didn’t seem all that content. His grimace was evident as he turned his head away from him. “The next time something like this happens… please…” The taller boy briefly closed his eyes  and drew in a deep breath, then let it out through his nose. Armin’s arms were still secured around his shoulders. “If you need to, you can come to me. But please don’t shut me out again.” When he looked back at him, his gaze had noticeably softened. “…I know we haven’t known each other for that long, and obviously I can’t even _begin_ to compare to Eren and Mikasa, but I still consider you as a friend…. And I want to _be there_ for youwhen something’s the matter.” He swallowed thickly, his voice lowering to a murmur as he uttered a quiet “if you’ll let me”.

Armin’s hold tightened slightly. He’d never considered Jean might be feeling that way. Not once. The entire time he thought he was _angry_ at him, but now it was starting to seem like he was just as insecure as Amin was. And that warmed his heart.

He didn’t voice his reply, but he leaned up so his head could nestle in Jean’s shoulder, his fingers brushing at his undercut. Armin knew his face was as red as Jean’s shirt but at that moment it was the least of his worries. “I’m sorry Jean…” He mumbled quietly, “I… figured I was burdening you guys, so I just—”

“You’re _not_ a burden.”

Armin jammed his mouth shut at that. The finality in Jean’s tone made his heart leap for the billionth time that day, and he felt his fingers beginning to tremble. Armin’s mind was a muddled whir of so many different emotions; the only clear one being… _relief._ Relief that Jean didn’t hate him, relief that he actually had a desire to be close to him. But most of all, relief that Jean didn’t think he was a burden, because that was predominantly the reason Armin had stayed away in the first place.

He wanted to apologize again, but ultimately he thought it’d be best to remain silent. And that was what he did. Armin nuzzled close to the larger body, relishing the feel of Jean holding him for a few more moments before they were interrupted by Armin’s phone going off with a new text from Eren, hysterically raving about his _non-date_ with Levi the day before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know I never knew Farlan / Isabel was a ship for the longest time but apparently it is so why not throw it in there. I think it goes without saying that i DID NOT proofread this.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 100+ kudos on this fic omg. uwu

 

> _Monday, August 25 th, 9:46am_

Jean had been having dreams.

Usually this wouldn’t be an issue, but these said dreams happened to include he and a certain blonde, doe-eyed roommate of his in very… _comprising_ situations. The most vivid of which occurred a few nights after Armin’s return – it involved a bed, some handcuffs and for some odd reason, that rubber horse mask Eren got him last Halloween as a sick joke. Now when he opened his closet and spotted the mask on the top shelf, all Jean could think about was Armin straddling his waist, wrists cuffed around his neck while he emitted a series of choked pleas to be fucked. Hard.

Now these dreams weren’t exactly unpleasant, per say, but they _did_ pose a bit of a problem. And that problem wasn’t the extended time Jean spent in the bathroom each morning after waking up from them. It was the guilt that plagued him when he thought about the beginning of summer, before he’d even met Armin, and the promise he made.

The promise to _wait._

Jean was no expert on the whole long-distance relationship thing (if it could even be considered that), but he knew the standards of waiting for someone did _not_ include having smutty dreams about someone else. So ever since he started having them, Jean had done nearly everything in his power to evade Armin and his advances.

And he made a lot.

He was lucky the blonde worked most of the week.

His luck was bound to run out, though. And it did. About ten days after this mess began Jean was posted at the island counter, scarfing down a plate of scrambled eggs when Armin approached him.

“Good morning,” Came a mumbled greeting from the blonde as he brushed past him and walked towards the fridge. Jean watched him. He work uniform was simple; it consisted of a black shirt and pants of the same color – nothing too special. If Jean was honest though, the contrast against his pale skin only served to accentuate his hair and eyes even more than usual. It was definitely a pleasant sight.

But Jean was almost never honest with himself when it came to his feelings. So the chances of him admitting that were slim to none.

“Morning, Armin.” He said, absently pushing his eggs to one side of his plate. “Sleep well?”

“Honestly? No I didn’t. But that’s nothing new.”  

Perhaps Jean was imagining things, but it seemed like Armin was particularly out-of-it this morning. When he straightened his back and pushed the fridge closed, strawberry milk in hand, Jean almost wanted to ask what was bothering him. But he didn’t get a chance.

“So…” Armin walked around the counter to slide onto the stool next to him. “I want to ask you something.”

 _‘Ask me something?’_ “Uh, okay, sure. Go ahead.” Jean’s eyebrow cocked as he pushed a large helping of eggs into his mouth.

“Well,” Armin looked momentarily pensive, but then he smiled. “I was thinking of heading to the cinema after I get off work.” He twisted the cap off of his milk. “If I did … would you like to come with? _Let’s Be Cops_ just came out and honestly it looks excruciatingly horrible but it’d be fun to make fun of it together.” He chuckled.

Jean bit into his inner cheek and looked down at his plate. He really did not want to refuse him; sitting alone (well technically they wouldn’t be alone) in a poorly-lit room with Armin for two hours was actually a pretty inviting scenario. But conveniently, the pact Jean made with himself to stay away from him was ever-looming over his shoulder.

He looked up from his plate, but still avoided Armin’s gaze. Seeing the disappointment in the boy’s face would be enough to do him in.

“Armin, that sounds… really fun.” Jean cleared his throat and began twirling his fork between his fingers. “But I—“

“Let me guess, you already have plans? You’re feeling under the weather?” He heard Armin laugh, but somehow it came out sounding more vexed than anything, and Jean felt guilty. “I shouldn’t have asked…”  

Jean’s eyes casted downward again. Apparently he hadn’t been as subtle as he thought– either that or Armin was really fucking perceptive. He ran his fingers through his hair and tried to think of an actually tangible excuse, but no matter what he said Jean knew he couldn’t avoid upsetting him.

“Sorry,” He said, swallowing as he finally mustered up the courage to meet his eyes. “It’s… not you. Really. I just haven’t been feeling up to going out much lately.” Jean took the last bite of his eggs and sighed, hoping to God that Armin wouldn’t realize he was lying straight through his teeth. “I guess I’ve been kinda on-edge since classes start next week.”

The blonde tilted his head as he sipped on his milk. He didn’t really look all that convinced, Jean could see it in the way his lips pursed, so he began to drum his fingers on the countertop as he anxiously awaited his reply.

“…You could have just told me that, Jean.” Armin licked the milk-mustache that gathered beneath his nose and grimaced. “The way you’ve been acting these days made it seem like you don’t want me around.”

Jean stood up and carried his dishes over to the sink, muttering a quiet “sorry” under his breath, but he was unsure if Armin even heard it. It was probably better that way though.

“Anyway,” The blonde sighed, and Jean heard a light scrape that sounded like his stool being pushed back from the counter. “I’m going to be late for work. Perhaps I’ll ask Eren to see the movie with me.”  

Jean cringed. Maybe it was all in his head, but it seemed like Armin said that just for the sole purpose of irritating him. Sure his suspicions of a not-so-platonic connection between those two haddied down since word of Eren and Levi started floating around, but still. They’d been friends since they were kids, and it wouldn’t be that far-fetched if some sort of romance developed between them…

But even if that was the case, why did he care? _‘Right, I don’t care....’_ Jean shook his head and grabbed the sponge next to the faucet, deciding to occupy himself with washing the dishes from the night before. When he heard the front door close, his head hung.

_‘I don’t care…’_

* * *

 

> _Monday, August 25 th, 5:14pm_

“So are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”

Jean ignored Connie’s question and tried to focus on correctly entering the combination for their gym locker. _25, 31, 9._ He twisted the dial a few times, only to huff when it didn’t budge. _‘God fucking damn it...’_ He growled to himself and was about to try a second time when he felt a hand slap against his back.  

“Ow, shit!” Jean spun around and stared down at Connie with a scowl. “What was _that_ for?”

“You ignored my question.” The shorter male nudged Jean aside and began fiddling with the lock himself, and Jean sighed in exasperation. “There ain’t nothing wrong…” He groused, parking himself on the bench while waiting for the ratty metal door to spring open.

“’Ain’t nothing’?” Connie tossed a smug look over his shoulder. “You’d think going to prep school for four years would teach you the basics of the English language.”

“Excuse my _southern roots_.” Jean snorted, sarcasm laced in every word. He propped his foot up on the bench and began unlacing his running shoes when he heard the locker open and his gym bag landed next to him a second later.

“…Jean, I’m being serious though. You’ve been acting moody since this morning.” Connie sat next to him on the bench and tugged off his shirt, then tossed it into his own bag. “What is it?”

Jean flinched. _No fucking way_ was he going to tell Connie anything. After all, the only reason he’d decided to hang out with him was to distract himself – but from what, exactly, Jean was unsure. He just knew sitting alone in an empty apartment would probably cause his mind to wander. He didn’t want that.

“It’s nothing. You’re imagining things.” He murmured through clenched teeth. After Jean got his shoes off he peeled his muscle tee from his torso and started for his shorts, then a hand clasped to his wrist.

“Jean.” Connie urged, lightly squeezing the bony skin, “I’m your _best friend_. I’m always willing to listen if you have a problem. So… stop being so difficult and tell me what’s wrong.”

Jean sighed heavily and stared down at the floor. The thing was, he wasn’t _trying_ to be a jerk. He just wasn’t all that thrilled about admitting the reason behind his distress, to himself or anyone else for that matter.

 _‘…Armin…’_ Jean closed his eyes for a moment. _Armin_ was the reason, as much as it irked him to accept. Mostly because he felt like he was cheating – though that was another situation in need of ironing-out – but also because he knew Armin hardly deserved to be treated so slightly, and it was killing him now that Armin knew.

But then, it was better than him knowing _why_ Jean was treating him that way.

 _‘….Maybe I should just tell him.’_ Jean bit into his bottom lip. It would definitely be easier; Jean was never too fond of lying to people (although this was kind of just _withholding the truth_ , as Eren often put it), and it certainly wouldn’t hurt to tell Armin the reason he’d been avoiding him. But it wasn’t the kind of thing that just _rolled off the tongue._

“Hello? _Earth to Jean Kirschtein_.” He heard Connie’s slightly annoyed tone while he snapped his fingers in front of Jean’s face. “Are you gonna talk to me or not?”

Jean leaned back and pushed his wrist away. “Yeah, sorry.” He breathed out and turned to look at his friend, his hands resting in his lap as he fiddled with the mesh fabric of his shorts. “I don’t really know how to explain this.”

“Starting from the beginning usually helps.” Connie smirked.

“You don’t say.” Jean deadpanned, another snort rising in his throat. “…Don’t laugh, man. And don’t tell Jaeger about this.” He squinted. “The girls either. What I’m about to tell you doesn’t leave this locker room, okay?”

Connie’s eyes widened a little, but his smirk still prevailed. “So it’s _that serious_? What, are you homesick or something? You miss Mama Kirschtein already?”

At the mention of his mother, Jean wrinkled his nose. “Shut the hell up, Connie. No.” He sighed loudly and had to take a few moments to mentally prepare himself for what he was about to say. “It’s Armin. I’ve been….having dreams. About Armin.” He ran his tongue over his suddenly extremely-dry bottom lip, sinking his head into his palms as soon as he felt Connie’s eyes boring into the side of his face.

His friend chuckled. “…What _kind_ of dreams?”

Jean didn’t answer, but the reddening of his ears was probably a dead-giveaway. About a half-a-second passed before he began to hear Connie’s chuckles escalating into loud howls of laughter. When he looked up, Jean’s expression was all sorts of sour.

“ _YOU’VE BEEN HAVING SEX DREAMS ABOUT ARMIN_?!” The shorter boy clutched his bare stomach as he doubled over, drawing in large gulps of air. “Oh my _fucking God_ , that’s rich!”

Jean glowered at him. “Tryna tell the whole gym, Connie? Shut up!” He shoved Connie’s shoulder hard enough for him to teeter and nearly fall off the bench. “Didn’t I say _not_ to laugh?”

“I’m sorry! But you have to admit it _is_ pretty amusing.” 

“Yeah, whatever.”

Jean huffed and lifted his hips so he could yank his basketball shorts down his legs, and as he did, he caught sight of the tattoo on his left hip. When Jean looked at it he couldn’t help but think of Armin. He’d said it was nice, and at the time the compliment did wonders for Jean’s ego. He probably would have smiled if not for the hand that clapped to his shoulder and the question that followed right after.

“So _what happened_ in these dreams?”

Jean’s lower lip dropped open and he stared at Connie in sheer disbelief. Did he _really_ have the audacity to ask? “What? I’m not telling you.”  He stood up and grabbed a clean towel from the rack that was mounted at the end of the row of lockers. “Excuse me, I’m gonna go shower.”

“I’m coming too.” Connie popped up and took a towel for himself, hastily shedding off his remaining clothes. “What’s so bad about telling me? It’s not like it really happened~”

Jean ignored him and walked towards the showers at the other end of the locker room, trying not to think too much about the grossness on the tiled floor that was touching the bottoms of his feet.

“And even if it _did_ happen, I tell you about me and Sash all the time!”

Jean glared at him. “Yeah, but do I ever ask to hear about that? It’s gross. She’s like my little sister.”

Connie walked up to stand next to him, wrapping his towel around his waist so he could fold his arms. “Fine, _don’t tell me_. But why bring it up if you’re not gonna elaborate?”

“I’m trying to explain why I’m upset. _That’s_ why.” Jean scoffed and stepped into the tiled cubical shower closest to him. The showers at this gym were separated, thankfully, with walls dividing each cleaning station. The walls didn’t touch the ceiling so the top of Jean’s head poked out; meanwhile Connie was pretty much invisible.

“Alright, alright.” The shorter boy said, “I’m listening.”

“Thanks.” Jean muttered as he positioned himself beneath the chrome faucet and reached up to turn on the water. “So… ever since I started having these dreams I’ve been avoiding Armin.”

“Yeah, I kinda noticed that. Why?”

“Well…” _‘Well I feel guilty for dreaming about being unfaithful to the boyfriend I’m not even sure I have.’_ Jean sighed. He definitely could _not_ say that though, not only because Connie had disapproved of the whole thing from the start, but also because…. well it didn’t really sound too good, no matter how Jean tried to phrase it. So he squeezed some soap onto his washcloth and decided to go with another approach.

“I guess I’ve just been feelin’ shy.” He heaved a sigh. “And I’m pretty sure no one’s written a book on how to act around your roommate after you’ve dreamt of fucking them. On more than one occasion.” Jean scrunched up his nose as he ran his washcloth along his arm, silently praying that Connie wouldn’t start laughing again. He’d faced enough humiliation for one day.

But instead of smugness, Jean detected a hint of pity in his tone when he said “I feel you”. Though what came next wasn’t so sympathetic.

“But Jean, you’ve been acting like a complete ass.” His friend chided, and Jean was suddenly happy he couldn’t see his face as he continued to wash his upper body.

“Yanno I overheard you and Armin this morning. He seemed really upset.”

“Yeah, I know.” Jean clenched his jaw. He already knew how Armin felt; he didn’t need a rehashing to make him feel even worse about it. “Your point?”

“My point is it’s really dumb to treat Armin like shit _just_ because you’re embarrassed.” Connie sighed. “Dude, are you so blind that you can’t see he’s crushing on you? He’s probably feeling really sho—“

“Wait, _back up_.” Jean actually held up his hand to physically get him to stop talking, even though he realized a moment later Connie couldn’t see it. “Crushing? …On me? _Armin_? No fuckin’ way.” Jean would admit he was a bit dense when it came to some things, but he was also pretty certain that if someone had a crush on him he’d notice it. Especially if that person _lived with him._

There was just no way it was even possible.  

“Wow, Jean.” Connie sniggered. “You really can’t tell?”

“Did he tell you or something…?” Jean’s voice lowered from its usual octave as he began scrubbing at his legs. _‘Armin has a crush on me?_ ’ That was unfathomable. Armin had never shown any signs of feeling that way; all his actions had been purely friendly. Or was Jean just interpreting them wrong?

“No he didn’t tell me, but he didn’t need to. Have you actually seen the way Armin looks at you, Jean? Have you noticed how he’s _always_ inclined towards you when we’re in a group? Before he just clung to Eren but lately…”

Jean’s eyelid twitched. ‘ _Shit….’_ Now that he was thinking about it, Connie was right. But Jean was never paying that close attention to it, so he probably wouldn’t have put two and two together until someone else pointed it out. As they had just now.

He rolled his tongue along the inside of his mouth as he shut off the water. Jean was at a complete loss for words. “Wow I…” He rubbed his eye with one hand and used the other to dry himself off with his towel. He knew Armin having a crush on him wouldn’t really hurt anything – it was _just a crush_ after all, so what harm could be done? But still, Jean couldn’t help but cringe at the name that kept running through his mind, taunting him as if trying to make him feel guilty.

_Marco._

He squeezed his soap bottle so hard that the gel substance began to ooze out from under the cap. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Connie stepping out from his cubicle with his towel wrapped around his hips.

“It’s almost six.” The shorter boy stated, grinning widely. “Armin’s shift is ending soon.”  

Jean’s eye twitched again as he followed Connie's actions and wrapped his own towel around himself. “…And?”

“And I think you should head up there. Go see him. _Apologize_ for being a dick.”

“I apologized this morning…” Jean brushed passed him with a roll of his eyes. Honestly, he wasn’t up for doing anything except being at home and letting everything register – perhaps with the assistance of a beer or two.

Connie fell into step next to him as they both padded back towards the lockers.

“Well I still think you should go. Maybe take him up on that movie offer?”  

“Why are you pushing this so hard?” Jean didn’t bother looking at him as he turned into their row and grabbed his gym bag. “If you want it so bad, you go.”

“I’m pushing it ‘cause Armin’s my friend and naturally I want to see him happy.” Connie ran his finger along the small scar on his forearm – he’d acquired it from a lacrosse game gone wrong - and shot Jean an incriminating look. “I think we both know it’d mean more if you went. Besides, it’s _your_ mess.”  

Jean exhaled deeply and took the clothes he was wearing before they’d started working out in his hands. He couldn’t decide if Armin was the first person he wanted to see right now or the last. How even would he act around him? If Jean had felt guilty before, well this whole _crush thing_ had definitely made things worse.

Especially since he was about ninety percent sure those feelings were reciprocated in his own heart.  

* * *

 

> _Monday, August 25 th, 6:28pm_

Jean told Connie he was going home, and yet he’d surprised even himself by doing the complete opposite. He’d driven to the Olive Garden where Armin worked straight after leaving the gym, expecting to catch him just as he was leaving and chalk his being there up to wanting to check out the new releases in the Game Stop – it was rather conveniently placed just across the parking lot – but his plans hadn’t got as smoothly as he’d hoped.

Of course Eren-fucking-Jaeger was who he ran into instead.

And of course the bastard took every opportunity to be a condescending little cunt when he guessed Jean was there looking for Armin. It seemed he’d _enjoyed_ telling him that he was on his way to Starbucks, and that he was meeting someone.

But it was when Jean asked who it was that Eren just flat-out laughed.

_“Oh he’s meeting some guy for coffee. What? Oh did you wanna see him? Well ya probably should have thought of that before you decided to treat my best friend like a fucking floor mat.”_

Jean felt his fingers begin to tremble just from thinking about it. Eren must have known how impulsive he was, he must have known what would happen when he said that. Otherwise, how could anyone explain the reason Jean was currently walking towards Starbucks’ entrance in giant strides, hoping to dear God that Eren had only said that to teach him a lesson?

Jean sucked in a breath as he grabbed for the doorknob, but then something caught his eye. Something he saw in the window right next to the glass double doors. It was _Armin_ , and he was seated at a window-side table for two with some kind of beverage in front of him. Jean’s eyes lingered on his face for a moment, and suddenly he felt inclined to tug up his hood to prevent himself from being seen. Though he was sure Armin wouldn’t look his way; he seemed too preoccupied by the person sitting across from him.

Jean dared to look over, and all he could think was _fuck Eren for being right_. At the other end of the table was, indeed, a guy – Jean couldn’t see much aside from the tuft of black hair poking out from beneath his beanie because his back was facing him – but the look on Armin’s face did more than enough to explain. He was smiling like he was ecstatic to see him. Jean felt his heart drop into his stomach.

_‘Who the fuck is this guy?’_

His hand moved from the door to his chest. Why had Armin not mentioned him before? If he was _seeing someone_ then all those times he’d asked Jean out… what did they even mean? He kept his eyes on the pair for just a moment more before tearing away and marching rather angrily back in the direction of his car. Jean dug his hand into his pocket and grabbed for his phone.

There was only one person he wanted to talk to right now.

He unlocked the screen and furiously punched a familiar phone number into the dial pad, then held the device up to his ear. It rang once, twice, three times before going to voicemail.

_“Hey, this is Marco! You know what to do!”_

Jean breathed in as he waited for the standard ‘beep’.

“Hey, Marco…. It’s me, Jean.” He pulled open his car door and climbed into the driver’s seat. “I really wanna talk to you. I miss you… please, call me back, okay?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this might be my favorite chapter yet tbh.


	10. Chapter 10

 

> _Monday, August 25 th, 7:04pm_

**[ SMS from: Freckles ]** Hey! I got your voicemail. I’m sorry I can’t talk. I’m in the middle of training but I can probably call you sometime tomorrow. I miss you too, Jean. :( Take care of yourself.

Jean had been staring at his phone for what felt like an eternity. He knew he should probably respond to the text; if he didn’t do so right away Marco probably wouldn’t even see it. But was there really a point? It was _always_ the same with him: Jean would call, and Marco would respond with a text saying he was busy like an hour after. Of course Jean knew the military was strict but was it really so bad that he couldn’t even hold a decent phone conversation?  

It was becoming exhausting.

It was upsetting too, especially since Jean had somehow cut off all outlets of communication with his friends. Connie was at Sasha’s for the night – somehow he figured that after Jean and Armin reconciled, they’d ‘recreate one of his dreams’- Eren was freezing him out, and everyone else was either busy or not in the mood to hang out on a Monday night.

And he’d rather not think about what Armin might be doing.

With a sigh, Jean began typing a reply to the message. But then he stopped _. ‘What’s the point?’_ There _was_ no point, honestly. His future with Marco – if there even was one – looked bleaker and bleaker each time they spoke. But he never wanted to admit it. Jean had been perfectly okay with fooling himself into thinking that since the guy of his dreams had given him a chance, everything else would just magically fall into place. But even Jean’s four-year-long (unrequited) infatuation with him and those adorable freckles couldn’t keep the bad feeling away.

With shaking fingers, Jean finally typed up a reply to Marco.

_I’m sorry too. But this isn’t working anymore._

He sunk his teeth into his lip as he read the message over and over again, mulling over whether or not he should even send it. Sending it would mean ending _everything_ between them, but not sending it would mean more weeks of missing him, more ignored phone calls and dismissive text messages.

And more guilt that Jean had feelings for someone else. 

He inhaled sharply, thumb momentarily hovering over the send button before finally pressing down. As Jean watched the status bar at the top of the screen indicate the sending speed of the message, he felt a pang in his heart.  

 _‘It’s done....’_ He dropped his phone onto the couch cushion next to him and reached to the coffee table, using the remote to turn up the volume on the Bose speakers that were currently projecting “Yesterday” by The Beatles from his iPod.

_Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play._

He grumbled at the choice song as he picked up his sketchbook and the pencil that was tucked in the spiral spine of it. Jean would draw to distract himself from the sadness, but also to kill time until Armin came home; he wanted to properly apologize. (And perhaps ask him who exactly he was meeting for coffee, if that so happened to come up in conversation.)

* * *

 

> _Monday, August 25 th, 7:12pm_

“Oh crap… I’m going to be late for a dinner with my mother.” Armin whined, his eyes on the clock displayed at the top of his lock screen. Slender fingers curled around his latte as he flicked his gaze back to the male across from him a second later. “I should probably go…”

Bertholdt Hoover, the man he’d met for coffee after colliding with him on the train that morning and picking up his phone by mistake, was sporting a warm smile as he sipped on his iced coffee. “That’s fine, Armin. I shouldn’t keep you from your familial obligations, right?”

“Right.” Armin smiled apologetically and kept a tight grip on his beverage he stood up. “Thanks for the coffee.” Not only was he thankful for being treated, but also for the mishap itself; accidentally switching phones for the day had given him an opportunity to meet a really great guy. Bertholdt was nice, and not to mention extremely handsome. It was just unfortunate that as soon as he told Eren his name the first thing that came out of his mouth was Bertholdt and his boyfriend Reiner always getting reprimanded for PDA when they were all in high school.

“It was really nice to meet you, Bertholdt.” Armin tipped his head towards him and waved with his free hand before dashing towards the exit. Outside it was dreary – he could see from the window that it was probably going to rain soon. Armin mentally cursed for not being able to go home and change before dinner. Nia had texted him with the offer literally the moment he’d left his building and he was already running late so there was no time to go back.

 “E-Excuse me, Armin?”  

Armin had reached up to pull his hair out of its bun when a voice made him stop. He turned on his heel, and his head nearly had to do an entire vertical 180 to meet the eyes of Bertholdt. The black-haired boy was standing before him, rubbing the side of his arm with a timid look on his face.

 _‘God, he’s cute.’_ Armin grinned inwardly and pressed his tongue against his gum. “Yeah…?”

Bertholdt moved his hand to his nape, and Armin caught a brief glimpse of what looked like some sort of tattoo that was peeking from beneath the short-sleeve of his shirt. “Perhaps this is out of line…” He started, cheeks going slightly pink, “But would it be okay if I got your number? I mean… it’d be a shame if I never saw you again. You’re… really nice.”

Armin’s smile only brightened at his words. Considering they had the same friends he was pretty certain they’d run into each other again at some point, but still, Bertholdt going out of his way to ask him like that made Armin feel important. _Wanted_ even. He never really felt that way with Jean; lately all he felt like with him was a burden, so a change of pace was definitely refreshing. He _was_ aware of his boyfriend though, so Armin would keep his pursuits strictly friendly. He could always use a new friend, anyway.

As they exchanged phones and entered their numbers, Arming got a bit of déjà vu for that morning on the subway. He tilted his head and handed his phone back to Bertholdt after a moment, his smile still plastered across his lips.

“Thanks.” Bertholdt grinned. “I’ll call you sometime then?”

“Yes, definitely!” Armin waved once more at the abnormally tall man before darting out of the Starbucks. _‘Damn, I’m probably going to need an umbrella….’_ He looked up to the sky with a small sigh, then began the trek towards the subway station at the end of the block.

* * *

> _Monday, August 25 th, 7:46pm_

Armin smoothed his hair with his fingers and leaned his cheek on his palm, skimming over the appetizers on the menu before him. Honestly, he couldn’t feel more out of place; he was stuffed inside some fancy Lebanese restaurant - in his work clothes - while his mother sat parallel him, clad head to toe in designer. Armin even noted the twinkle of diamonds on the Cartier watch she seemed to check every thirty seconds.

“Something wrong?” He asked softly, his eyebrow cocking upwards.

His mother seemed a bit startled when she looked up, but she shook her head. “No, nothing… um, have you decided what you’re going to order?”

Armin’s eyes went squint at her response. He’d always been able to read people pretty well, and now he could clearly see that there was something Nifa wasn’t telling him. But he wouldn’t press. “I think… just an appetizer will suffice.”

“Just an appetizer? Armin, if you’re feeling uncomfortable with the  pricing of everything-”

“I am, actually.” The blonde turned his eyes back on his menu. “Why did you even decide to bring me here? We could have went to Ruby Tuesdays, or something more in my price-range.”

Nifa sighed. “I can pay for you. You don’t have to worry about that.” She reached across the table and took the liberty of flipping his menu to the entrée section, which caused Armin to frown slightly. “Besides, I brought you here because-”

“Sorry I’m late. Got caught up at the firm.”

Armin looked up, his brows rising in both surprise and confusion. Standing at their table was a man - he had to be over six feet tall – dressed smartly in a pinstriped suit and tie. His blonde hair was slicked back behind his ears, where a Bluetooth was coiled around the shell of the right one, and his eyes were a striking shade of cerulean blue. The man, Armin observed, had to have the _thickest eyebrows_ he’d ever seen outside of an anime. It was hard not just to stare as he kissed his mother’s cheek and perched himself at the empty chair between them.  

 “It’s not a problem, Honey.” Said Nifa, red lips pressing into a smile.

 _‘Who is this guy?’_ Armin thought as he eyed them, his hand clenching into a fist and then opening again. “Would… anyone like to fill me in?”

“Armin, this is Erwin Smith.” His mother gestured towards the man, who immediately turned towards Armin and smiled, holding his arm across the table for a shake.

“Hello Armin.” He said, “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

Armin stared at the man’s hand, and he visibly flinched. _‘What the hell…?_ ’ Not once, in the several times they’d spoken since their reunion, had his mother mentioned _anything_ about a new man in her life. She could have went about this the way a decent human being would and told him when they were alone - in private, where he could properly react, but instead she chose to bring him to dinner without any sort of warning? Armin wanted to grimace, but instead he forced a smile and quickly shook Erwin’s hand.

“Nice to meet you as well, Mr. Smith.” _‘Though it would have been nicer if I had been told you were coming. Or if I had been told about you at all.’_

“Call me Erwin.” The man chuckled, his eyes flickering slightly. “‘Mr. Smith’ sounds extremely impersonal…”

 _‘Well it’s not like I know you.’_ Armin bit at his lower lip and glanced towards his mother, who was giving him a look that said “ _I’m so sorry_ ”. Armin just ignored it and decided to try to focus on picking out something to eat, but that attempt was soon deterred when he realized Erwin was speaking to him again.

“So Armin, your mother told me you’re starting at Trost University next week. Good for you. That’s an amazing school, you know.” When Armin looked up, he immediately noticed the toothy smile painted over Erwin’s lips. _Something_ about this guy was giving him bad vibes, but he couldn’t exactly place what it was. He just made Armin feel sort of…. uneasy.

“I received lots of scholarships. SAT scores, essay contests, that sort of thing.” _’And I received a grant after Grandpa died._ ’ The blonde sighed to himself as idly nudged his straw around his glass of water, doing his best to avoid Erwin’s intense gaze.

“Impressive.” Erwin turned to Nifa, who propped her cheek on her balled fist.

“Armin’s been a straight-A student all four years of high school as well.”

“Actually, it was only three years.” Armin folded his hands and rested his chin on his fingers. “I graduated early, so...”

 _‘And it’s not like you were here to see it.’_ The blonde was practically _seething_ now, but he continued to mask his feelings with a smile. “Anyway, t’s not important, Mother...” He exhaled his relief when he heard his phone chime from the confines of his jeans, indicating that he had a text message.

 _‘Thank God.’_ Armin reached into his pocket and grabbed his phone, tilting his head down to scan over the message that lit the lock screen.

 **[ SMS from: Jean ]** when will you be home? I need to talk to you.

His fingers tightened on the phone ever so slightly, and his lip quivered. Why did Jean suddenly care when he was coming home, and what did he need to talk to him about? He almost thought to ignore the message, but honestly, Armin would much rather talk to Jean than deal with the current situation at hand.

 **[ SMS to: Jean ]** Hopefully soon. I’m having dinner with my mom though. （´＿｀）What do you need to talk to me about?

 **[ SMS from: Jean ]** Your mom huh?

 **[ SMS from: Jean ]** I’d rather tell you in person tbh. It’s kinda serious.

 _‘…Serious?’_ Armin tilted his head to the side, silently wondering what Jean could have meant by that. _‘Perhaps he wants to tell me straight up that he doesn’t like me...’_ Just the thought evoked a loud sigh from Armin’s lips, but he responded anyway.

 **[ SMS to: Jean ]** Okay. I’ll be home as soon possible.

 

Unfortunately, “as soon as possible” meant not soon at all.  It actually felt like an eternity had passed and Armin was _still_ inside the restaurant, digging at his plate of grilled salmon – it was the only thing on the menu he felt comfortable about paying his mother back for.

His eyes were squint as he observed Nifa and Erwin exchange a few hushed words, then they both turned to Armin with purposeful looks on their faces. The blonde almost felt sort of scared.

“Have you ever considered interning at the Astronomy Institute of Hermina?” Erwin asked, his eyebrow raising as he leaned into Armin slightly. The increase in proximity made the boy flinch.

“Um, no… no I haven’t.” He cleared his throat. Of course he knew about it though; AIH was the country’s central organization for all the experiments and missions conducted for space exploration. The majority of the books and documentaries in Armin’s collection came from the institute, so yeah, he was pretty keen on the internships they offered. But he knew he probably wouldn’t qualify. Not yet, at least.

“Why’s that?” Erwin lifted a forkful of what resembled lamb to his mouth. “Astronomy is passion of yours, isn’t it?”

Armin glanced at his mother. Her eyes were on him as well, and she looked just as expectant as Erwin did. Armin suddenly felt embarrassed and decided to stare down at his plate.

“Something’s telling me they wouldn’t give an internship to a sixteen year old college freshman.” He mumbled.

“Well,” Erwin said, matter-of-factly, “I could make a call. A friend of mine works there. Hanji Zoe. I could definitely get you an internship with her if you liked.”

Armin’s head shot up at his words. “What? _Really_?” He wouldn’t deny the offer was rather enticing – a chance to intern with _real_ astronomers wasn’t something people came across every day. But the better half of him still felt strange accepting something of that magnitude from a man he didn’t even know.

“Um, Mr. Smi- I mean, Erwin…” Armin began, fingers absently toying with the lemon slice on the rim of his glass (he’d watched a documentary on the mistreating of drink garnishes and never looked at them the same again), “That is an amazing offer, don’t get me wrong but..”

“But what?” Nifa spoke up then. “You told me yourself that after college that would be your choice of career path. It’d be _extremely_ beneficial to start now, don’t you think?”

More than anything else, Armin _hated_ when he felt like he was being pressured into something. Of course he wanted to accept, but like he’d said before, it felt weird letting a man he didn’t know do something like that for him. So he shook his head and briefly glanced out of the small window beside their table.

“I’d feel guilty accepting something like that from you.” Armin huffed. “It’s… too big an offer, and we barely know each other. I’m sorry.”

Erwin nodded, then turned towards Nifa and gave her a look he couldn’t quite read. When his eyes returned to Armin, however, he was beaming big as ever. “Understandable. But… please do consider it. It’s the least I can do for my future stepson.”

And if Armin had felt uneasy before, _now_ he was certain he would dry heave right there at the table. ‘ _Stepson? What?’_ He blinked frantically, his eyes snapping from Nifa to Erwin, and the back to Nifa. “I… beg your pardon?” The blonde croaked out. “You guys are….?”

“Yes, as of two days ago.” Erwin said proudly as he threw his arm around Nifa’s shoulders, and Armin could have sworn he saw a flicker of discomfort in his mother’s eyes. But it was masked quickly with a smile.

 _‘Why did no one tell me this before?’_ Armin suddenly felt the urge to push himself up from the table and bolt, though he knew that wouldn’t be very polite. He didn’t even understand what exactly he was upset over; that his mother was engaged and didn’t tell him, or that she was engaged at all? Or perhaps because it felt like Erwin trying to push this whole _family thing_ on him way too soon, and Nifa was just _letting it happen._

 _‘Mom, why won’t you say anything?’_ Armin stared at his mother with pleading eyes, but she was too busy fitting the diamond ring she had stashed in her pocket back onto her finger. _‘So she had the intent of hiding it from me.’_ He couldn’t believe this. When they’d spoken before Nifa was a completely different person; she told him she was more than willing to let Armin set the pace of their relationship progression - that they would take things slow. How the hell did this classify as _slow_?  

Armin could feel tears of frustration beginning to prickle at his eyes, but he blinked a few times to push them back down. No way was he going to cry in front of _strangers._ “Well that’s just splendid, you guys. Congrats.” Armin’s voice remained leveled, but he didn’t have to look down to know his fingers were trembling. “Have any other earth-shaking news to keep from me until the very last minute, or is that all?”

His words caused a panicked look to cross Nifa’s face. She reached across the table for Armin’s hand, but stopped halfway and drew back, sighing. “….I’m sorry Armin. I know you’re upset,”

  _‘Upset doesn’t even begin to explain how I’m feeling.’_ Armin shifted his eyes away from her.

“But… there _is_ something else.”

* * *

 

> _Monday, August 25 th, 8:49pm_

Somehow, without realizing, Jean had driven to Trost’s downtown plaza, and was now parked on one of the benches that rimmed the fountain, tapping away at the screen of his phone. He’d given up on Armin coming home any time soon and decided to head into the main part of the city to just bask in the late-summer ambience – it was one of his favorite pastimes, honestly. (It was also one of the reasons his friends always referred to him as the ‘grandpa’ of the group. But he ignored that.)

Jean was so very immersed in his game of _Kim Kardashian: Hollywood_ that he almost didn’t hear the soft call of his name, nor the presence that simultaneously joined him on the bench. But he did, so he pressed the hold button as he looked up, and he nearly dropped his phone at the sight that greeted him. 

Sitting next to him on the bench was a very distressed-looking Armin, still clothed in his work uniform. Jean could sort of see a faint tint of red in his eyes that made it look like he’d been crying – but then again, it was almost nine o’clock at night and the only real light sources were the lanterns that hung from the trees circling the plaza, and the colored lights from inside the fountain.  So Jean could totally be wrong.

Still though, worry crept its way into the taller boy’s chest and he found himself leaning into Armin, his hand unconsciously resting on his arm.

“Armin…” He breathed. “What….what are you doing here?” Jean hadn’t lost his mind just yet; he was pretty certain the blonde told him he was coming home straight after his dinner with his mom. So what was he doing wandering around the plaza this late? The subway station wasn’t even on this side of the street….

“I could ask you the same thing. Thought you’d be at home.” Armin said as he carded a hand through blond hair – an action so simple, yet it still made Jean’s stomach clench in the most disgusting of ways.

“Me? Oh… I just come here when I need a moment alone and don’t wanna be cooped up in the apartment.” Jean shrugged. “But didn’t you say you were at dinner with your mom?”

Armin seemed to tense at Jean’s words, but he soon relaxed when the brunet began to lightly massage his arm. “I was… I would have still been in there, but… I walked out before even finishing my entrée.”

“ _What_?” Jean raised his eyebrow. “Why?”

Armin turned his head to look in front of them, at the row of trees that were lit up with the paper lanterns hanging from the branches. “…It was suffocating in there, Jean. You wouldn’t believe…” His voice shook, hands lifting to cradle his face as he murmured, “I thought it was gonna be just the two of us, but then some guy shows up and apparently it’s her _fiancé._ ” The way Armin was speaking made _fiancé_ sound like the ugliest word in the world. Jean just moved his hand to his back and continued the subtle caresses.

“Why didn’t she tell you that beforehand? Like… when you guys were alone?”

“That was _my_ question.” Armin said, his voice muffled by his hands. “And not to mention Erwin – that’s the guy’s name – makes me _really_ uncomfortable. Like he was nice to me, but something about him just… gives me the creeps… I don’t know what it is.” Armin dropped his hands and rested them on his knees as he turned to Jean, his eyes glassy. “It seemed like he has some kind of power over my mom, honestly... because she was _totally different_ before. But now, from what I’m seeing, she’s just a mindless robot that goes along with whatever her _dear fiancé_ decides. Like… what the hell?”

 Jean listened to Armin’s rant, nodding at every pause as his hand continued to work on his back. “Damn…” He exhaled softly, his brows furrowing together. Jean had never been in a situation even _almost_ like this one, so there was no real way he could relate. But he still felt awful for him. “That’s fucked up, Armin…. I’m really sorry...”

“That’s not even the worst of it, believe it or not.” His roommate propped his arms up on his knees and rested his cheeks on his hands, sighing heavily. “Get this: she’s also two months pregnant with his child.”

Jean’s orbs noticeably widened, his hand slowly retracting from Armin as he looked down. “…Shit. I honestly don’t know what to say to that…” His heart began to ache for Armin then, and all he wanted to do was hug him – but he felt it might be inappropriate.

“I didn’t either. I literally just excused myself to the bathroom and left. They didn’t come after me even after twenty minutes, so I’m assuming they know they’re in the wrong.” Armin began chewing at his lower lip, the last part of his statement barely rising above a whisper. “Either that… or Erwin convinced my mom not to do anything about it.”   

Jean’s lips curled downward, his arm acting on its own accord as it wrapped around Armin’s shoulders. He pulled the blonde flush into his side and honestly expected some resistance, but Jean was pleasantly surprised when Armin melded into him, not refusing the touch at all.

“I’m really sorry.”

“You said that already.” The blonde looked up at him with a sad smile. “I’m… almost afraid to ask what you wanted to talk to me about, to be honest.”

Jean stared at him. Several possible responses flooded through his mind: mainly, he wanted to apologize for how he’d acted, (and ask him about that coffee date) but now that Armin told him about his day he was hesitant. Jean knew the boy was emotionally exhausted– he could tell by the way his fingers clung to the fabric of his shirt, the way his eyes shone with moisture against the multicolored lights of the fountain. He could even hear it in his voice; the way Armin called his name and softly inquired about what he wanted to tell him.

But Jean had other plans.

Without much thought, he took his unoccupied hand and lifted it to Armin’s cheek, cupping the warm skin with his fingers as his thumb timidly trailed the line of his jaw. Armin just stared, eyes wide, lips slightly parted as he emitted a shallow breath.

“J-Jean?”

Jean momentarily looked away from him and focused his gaze on the shops the bordered the quad of the plaza. Was he really about to do this? His heart was racing a mile a second as he told himself _yes_ , he was finally going to stop being a fucking coward and directly face his emotions, and tell Armin how he felt.

No more running away.

His thumb moved to trace the side of his mouth when he looked back to him. There was a question (or two) on Armin’s lips, but Jean was pretty sure he shut him good with what he said next.

“I like you, Armin.”

 The blonde’s eyebrows nearly hit his hairline. He opened his mouth, then closed it, then opened it again, his fingers tightening considerably on Jean’s shirt. “…What? You _what_?”

“I said _I like you_.” Jean repeated, heat rushing to his cheeks (and he was pretty sure his face was as red as a beet, but there was no turning back now. He knew that.).

Armin was blushing like mad as he looked down at his thighs. His fingers shyly made their way up to his shoulder and he breathed in, voice heavy. “I… but… you’ve been-“

“I know I’ve been acting like a dick.” Jean shut his eyes. Now that he opened this can of worms, he knew there was no going back, so telling Armin everything was his best bet. (It was his only bet, really).“That was the reason why. Because… I was too scared to face my feelings. But then I realized how much I was hurting you…” Jean hooked his finger beneath Armin’s chin and turned his face back up to him. “That was what I wanted to talk to you about. But… then you told me what happened with you mom and all I wanted to do was see you smile again, so I…”

But Jean hardly got to finish his thought before he felt warmth course through him, and a pair of supple lips cover over his own. His eyes remained wide open for a second – he was too stunned to properly react – but Jean soon relaxed into the kiss and used the arm around Armin’s shoulder to pull him close, sighing when he felt the hand on his shoulder ascend to hold the back of his neck. The position allowed more leverage for their lips to slot against one another, and Jean was so engrossed in holding their mouths together that he almost didn’t hear those gentle words Armin emitted into the kiss.

_I like you too, Jean._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well then.


	11. Chapter 11

 

> Wednesday, August 27th, 3:42pm

“Armin, are you listening to me?”

Armin bit his lip, his head turning back from the car window to give Eren an apologetic smile. Honestly he hadn’t been listening at all – the blonde had begun to space somewhere around when Eren started droning on about how _hot_ Levi looked in the shirt he was wearing that day, which was around fifteen minutes ago.

“….No, sorry.” The blonde admitted as he leaned his arms on the headrest of the passenger seat, where Eren was twisted around to look at him. It wasn’t Eren’s fault though – Armin was usually glad to listen when he talked about Levi. He could plainly see how happy he made him, and if Eren was happy, naturally so was Armin. But today was different. Today Armin was feeling all sorts of anxious because Eren had practically _forced_ him into tagging along with him and Levi as they attended the cookout that was _conveniently_ being held by Jean’s brother, Farlan.  

The only thing Armin really distinctly remembered about Farlan was that he looked like an older version of Jean with grey eyes and hair that was a slightly darker shade of sandy brown. But those facts proved rather extraneous, because the reason for Armin’s anxiety wasn’t Farlan. It was _Jean_ he was nervous about seeing. He was unsure how he would face his roommate after their little… tryst two nights ago.

 

It had been mere moments after the kiss happened that they were approached by Nifa and Erwin together in Erwin’s sports car. Armin hardly had the time to speak to Jean clearly before he was whisked away by his parents – if they could even be considered as such - on the pretense that they were ready to apologize for that _calamity_ of a dinner. But that wasn’t exactly the case.

Nifa _did_ say she was sorry that things had happened so quickly, but it was followed after by her pleading her fiancé’s case that all he was trying to do was “make them a real family”.

 _“My first wife left me at the very start of my career as a lawyer.”_ Erwin had said _, “And Nifa has been by my side since then. You know, Armin, I’ve already started to come to love you as much as I love your mother.”_

 But if Armin had ever heard something more filled with shit than that, he’d be genuinely surprised. Just thinking about that night made his blood boil, so the blonde quickly shook his head and decided to return his attention to Eren.

“Please don’t mind me.” Armin said with a sigh, his legs crossing at the ankle. “I’m listening now, Eren.”

His friend eyed him skeptically. “….Not convinced at all. But I’m going to tell you anyway, for the sake of this being such _urgent news_.”

 _That_ certainly got him listening. Armin cocked his brow as his head tilted some. “Urgent news?”

“Yep.” Eren was practically beaming as he spoke, and he rested his chin on the top of the leather seat. “Yesterday I talked to Mikasa. About Levi and I.”

“… _Really_?”

“Yes really.”

Armin’s eyes grew considerably, but a warm smile found his lips as he leaned close to the brunet. “That’s great! Holy crap.” He blinked. “How did she take it? You’re alive so I’m assuming it didn’t go as bad as everyone thought it would.”

“It went _unexpectedly_ well.” Eren said, “I mean, she was surprised – and a bit grossed out, and of course she went into instant Ackermom-mode but after she calmed down…. we discussed it civilly and –”

“Plainly put, we have her blessing.”

Armin and Eren both looked to the side and watched as Levi climbed into the driver’s seat, a plastic bag dangling from his wrist. When he shut the door Eren immediately turned to sit properly and grabbed for his seatbelt.

“Well this is amazing news.” Armin said, sitting back as well. “I’m really happy for you guys! You know at the end of the day all Mikasa wants is for you to be happy.”

“She said the same thing.” Eren chuckled and stole a glance to Levi as he fastened his belt. “It’s really great, yanno. Personally I was getting kind of tired of showing such reserve when in public. Now at Farlan's cookout we can be _totally_ open.”

Levi simply grinned and reached into the plastic bag, his neck craning slightly when he turned to look at Armin. “Speaking of the cookout,” He tugged out a bag of Chex Mix and handed it to the blonde. “There’s going to be food there, you do realize that right?”

“Yes, I know...” Armin swallowed the lump that formed in his throat as he accepted the bag. When they’d stopped at the gas station, he tried to be as discreet as possible when asking Levi to buy them, because if Eren noticed he’d undoubtedly interrogate him about why he was eating beforehand. And then Armin would have no choice but to explain.

“Ar, you have a stomach the size of a _walnut_.” Eren said rather loudly, much to Armin’s dismay. “You can’t eat now; you haven’t tasted Mrs. K’s _famous lemon pie_.”

 _‘Curse him.’_ Eren knew Armin absolutely _adored_ pie. Just the mention was having him reconsider his plans for the remainder of the day. Perhaps he could stay a little longer than initially intended…

 _‘No. I’m not risking running into Jean.’_ The blonde shook his head and shut his eyes, fingers folding together in his lap.

“The whole point of a cookout is the food.” Eren went on, “It’s a _cookout._ And you know if it’s being hosted by a Kirschtein the food is going to be fucking delicious.” 

Armin sighed in exasperation. “I know, but... I wasn’t actually planning to stay for long...”

“What?” Eren arched a brow as the car started up. “Why not?”

 _‘God damn it.’_ Armin looked away, deciding to stare out of his window instead. “I was feeling a bit anxious. I don’t really know anyone who’s gonna be there.”

“Nonsense. All of our friends are going. Krista even said she’s bringing that townie she met at Beachville. Ymir was her name, right?” Eren smirked. “Not to mention you’ll get to see that horse-faced boyfriend of yours.”

Armin cringed instantaneously at the insinuation made; if only Eren knew how much that had affected him. “He’s _not_ my boyfriend, Eren. Jesus Christ…” The blonde hugged himself around his middle and exhaled. Out of sheer curiosity, he glanced up to the rearview mirror to see if Levi was at all paying attention to them. He wasn’t. His attention was focused intently on the road ahead of them, and that evoked a relieved sigh from Armin. _‘Thank God.’_

By now Eren was twisted back around to face him fully, both his eyebrows raised and his smirk unwavering. “ _Golly,_ Armin. No need to get defensive. It was just a joke.”

Armin noted the playful glint in the brunet’s eye, but boy, he had _no idea._ He knew ignoring him would be his best bet at getting him to stop, so Armin averted his gaze back to the window as he tugged apart the seal on his Chex Mix.

Eren, however, didn’t seem to get the message. “Why’re you being like this?” He huffed softly and jutted out his lower lip. “I _always_ call Jean your boyfriend and it never bothered you before...”

Out of his peripheral view, Armin saw Eren’s expression gradually go from confused to knowing in about four-point-o seconds. He winced.

“…Oh my God.” His friend practically choked on his breath. “Did something actually HAPPEN between you and Horeshit?!”

Just then, a barely-audible snicker came from the driver’s seat. Armin’s eyes instantly squinted as he shot Levi an accusatory glare via the rearview mirror _. ‘So he_ has _been listening. That old geezer...’_

Levi just ignored the look and continued driving as if nothing had happened, and Armin groaned as he glanced back to Eren. “I uh...” The blonde emitted a shaky breath whilst dipping a hand into the bag in his lap.

 “Spill. _Now._ ” Eren urged him, green eyes boring into Armin’s blue ones.

“You… you have to promise it won’t leave this car.” The blonde frowned slightly. “Swear it won’t.”

Levi chuckled at his words. “Aren’t you overreacting? Eren told me how closely-knit your group of friends is. They don’t seem like the judgmental.”

“It’s sweet that you’re trying to give Armin your old man advice Levi but this is _Jean Kirschtein_. Anyone would be embarrassed about doing… whatever it was he did… with him.” Eren snorted, and then offered Armin an understanding smile. “I mean I’m kinda embarrassed to call him my friend...”

Armin wouldn’t deny he took a bit of offense to what the brunet said, even though he knew he was (probably) only kidding around. He popped a pretzel into his mouth and giggled when he heard Levi mutter something along the lines of “call me an old man again brat and I’m kicking your ass out of this car”.

Eren leaned over and pressed a lingering kiss to Levi’s cheek straight after though – presumably his way of apologizing – and Armin definitely saw the older male’s lip twitch as he continued to drive.

The audacious act of affection made Armin remember the current situation at and, and he sighed.

_‘There’s no escaping this I suppose...’_

_“_ I uh...” He ran a hand over his nape, making sure to look anywhere but the tanned boy that was turned around and staring at him, expectantly.

“I kissed him. Jean. I kissed Jean.” As the words tumbled from his lips, Armin was certain he felt a bit of heat rush to his cheeks. He looked down at his lap, but he could still see that his friend was _gawking_ at him.

“YOU _WHAT_?!” Eren exclaimed, bouncing in his seat a little. “When the _fuck_ did _this_ happen?”

They both heard Levi’s warning for Eren to turn around before he got a ticket, but it was ignored.

Armin’s blush darkened. “Monday night… after my dinner with my mom and Erwin.”

“Why didn’t you tell me if it happened _DAYS AGO_?” Eren scoffed and gave him a pained look. “I’m hurt.”

“I would have told you Eren, honestly I would have but I just…” The blonde looked up at him, pouting a little. “I was kind of scared.”

Eren’s expression turned serious, his head tilted slightly as he keened towards Armin. “Scared of what? That I’d judge you or something?” He shook his head and reached out to grab hold of Armin’s hand, voice softening. “Ar… I may shit on Jean a lot but… I also know how much you like him. You don’t need to worry about me _judging you_.” He smiled sweetly at his friend before offhandedly adding “But if you’re gonna be kissing him a lot make sure you stock up on some Listerine.”

“ _EREN_.” Armin shouted in (feigned) anger, snatching his hand away to lightly smack him in the shoulder.

The brunet grinned. “I’d say I was kidding but I’m not.”

“Oh, screw you.” Armin tried to keep his face stern, but he couldn’t help a soft laugh. “Keep acting like an ass and I won’t tell you all the _details_ ~”

Eren raised an eyebrow at that. “I demand you tell me everything that happened. _Everything_.” But after he realized what he had said, he backtracked, his nose scrunching up a bit. “But if there was tongue involved… you can leave that out. Please spare me.”

“You just told me to tell you everything, Eren.” Armin chuckled. “Make up your mind.”

“Keep it PG-13!”

Already, Eren was making Armin feel _heaps_ more comforted and at ease than he had before, and he couldn’t help but smile warmly as he grabbed a handful of his Chex Mix.

“Lucky for you it barely got past TV-12.” He said, head shaking a few times as he recalled the night. “I’ve already told you about what happened at that _dreadful_ dinner.” Armin grumbled. “Well… after I walked out I began wandering aimlessly around the plaza and… strangely enough, there was Jean. Just sat there in front of the fountain like he was _waiting for me_ or something.” 

“He was probably stalking you.” Levi added under his breath.

Eren nodded in agreement. “Wouldn’t put it passed him.”

“I can do without the commentary, thanks.” Armin rolled his eyes as he began nibbling on a piece of dried rye bread. “ _As I was saying_ , he was there. And of course I confronted him, even if I was still sort of upset about him blowing me off that morning.” Armin exhaled deeply. “Jean could tell there was something wrong though, and he listened while I vented to him about my mom and Erwin. He just… made me feel so safe.” Armin found himself smiling as he looked down at his thighs, his cheeks heating up once more. “…Then before I knew it he told me he liked me and I… I acted on a whim and kissed him.”

Eren coughed and took the liberty of reaching into Armin’s bag to grab some Chex Mix for himself. “He said he _liked you_? Awh, how _sweet_.” He grinned tauntingly. “So what, is he your boyfriend now? What should I wear to the wedding~?”

“I imagine you’d look rather ridiculous in a suit.” Levi snorted.

“Excuse you, old man. I actually clean up pretty nicely. I still have my prom pictures on my Instagram.” Eren tossed a pretzel at the side of Levi’s head, and the older male reached out to pinch his ear.

Armin sunk a little in his seat. “You _guys..._ ” He realized now that it was pretty much hopeless to try and get their attention again; Levi and Eren had already gone off on their own tangent about what the other would look like in a suit for a wedding that _wasn’t even happening_. Armin sighed deeply and began eating away at his Chex Mix, even though it was probably impractical to do so since his plans to leave early had definitely changed by now.

* * *

 

 

> Wednesday, August 27th, 4:21pm

“Poor Eren…” Armin said to Levi, his eyes on the back of Eren’s head as he watched him follow Jean’s mother through the front doors of her house. (Actually Armin was unsure if it was fit to be called a ‘house’; it was more like an _estate_.) Almost immediately upon arriving Eren had been summoned by the woman to assist her in bringing the rest of the food out into the backyard, and Armin had never been more thankful to not be acquainted with these people than he’d been at that moment.

Levi didn’t bother responding, he just gave Eren a side glance before he and Armin trekked around the side of the house to the backyard. Armin’s lower lip dropped down and his eyes widened when he saw just how _huge_ Jean’s place was – he wasn’t sure what he should marvel at first: the pool, the impressive dining area and buffet tables of the expanse of neatly cut grass that seemed to stretch for _acres_ behind the main part of the house.

“Holy crap...”  Armin said, suddenly feeling more than a little self-conscious about the thrift store-fresh jeans hugging his hips.

Levi said nothing as he scanned the vicinity, his arms folding over his chest.

“Do you… know anyone here, Levi?” The blonde asked. He doubted it though; He didn’t peg Levi for the type to befriend many people younger than he was, and Armin could only really spot adolescents.

The man next to him pursed his lips together. “Farlan and his girlfriend, Isabel. Also a friend of mine said she might show up, but I highly doubt that.”

“Oh.” The boy blinked. He wondered how Eren managed to date this guy; he didn’t seem all that talkative or interested in anything, really. But perhaps that was why they got along, considering Eren could talk for hours on end. Maybe Levi was a good listener.

“Hey, Armin.”

 _‘…He said my name…’_ Armin cocked his brow as he turned to Levi. “Hm?”

“Isn’t that the horesfaced guy you and Eren were talking about in the car?” There was a faint smirk painted over his lips as he pointed outward, directing Armin’s attention to the gazebo. Surely enough, Jean was sat on one of the benches next to Connie. They were eating from a jumbo-sized bag of Ruffles. _‘Heathens…’_ Armin tsk’d quietly before nodding in affirmation.

“Yeah.”

“Aren’t you going to go say hello?”

Armin mentally cursed. He _had_ planned to do that, but not until much later. He needed time to stall.

“Uh…” The blonde rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Perhaps later on.”

Levi was starting at him now. Armin knew that face all too well; it was the face Eren made when he was about to meddle in his business. Armin sucked in a preparatory breath and tilted his head upward. He couldn’t look at him right now.

“He’s sitting right there.” Levi said matter-of-factly, his fingers tapping at the side of his folded arm.

“I’m aware.” Armin sighed. _‘Please… just drop it…_ ’

And then, by the grace of some god, a loud exclamation of Levi’s name was heard to the left of them. Armin looked and saw a tiny redhead with the biggest, almost _alienoid_ green eyes he’d ever seen (well save for Eren, of course) standing next to Farlan and jumping up and down, waving her arms like she was trying to land a plane.

“Levi! I’m so siked you could make it!” She was saying, while Farlan just waved.

“That Isabel?” Armin asked. Truthfully, he couldn’t have been happier for the interruption.

Levi nodded and shot him a knowing glance. “I suppose that’s my cue to go.” He said, unfolding his arms as he did so. There was a brief pause before Armin nodded and began to turn around, but Levi’s hand on his arm made him stop.

“Look kid, you can do what you want. But… from what I heard earlier it seems you really like him.”

Armin tried to shift his eyes away, but Levi’s intense glare held him captive. Not to mention he was kind of heavy-handed with the grip on him. “I… do...” The boy muttered meekly.

“As I thought.” Levi dropped his arm and tucked his hands into his pockets. “Don’t pass that up just because you’re scared of facing… well whatever it is you’re scared of.”

Armin just stared at him, his teeth pressing into his lip as he let what he said register. “Why… why do you even care?” The blonde rubbed the side of his arm. He’d admit his advice _was_ valid, but he was still a little stunned that it came from _Levi._ Armin shifted his weight onto his left foot.

Levi’s lips curved only slightly. “You’re Eren’s best friend. By default I have to give a shit about your wellbeing.” He said, head tipping forward. “And like hell I’m gonna just stand here and watch you make a huge mistake.”  

The words made Armin smile, faintly. He ran his tongue over his lower lip and glanced towards the gazebo for a moment, then back to Levi. “Then… you could easily stand somewhere else.”

“Tch.” Levi shook his head and did a dismissive wave of his hand, then turned and began walking across the yard to where Isabel and Farlan were standing in front of one of the buffet tables.

Armin let out a breath he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding.  _‘…Thank you, Levi.’_ He hugged his torso. When he looked back to Jean, their eyes met. His roommate smiled crookedly and tilted his neck a bit to beckon him over, and Armin felt his heart begin to pound.

_‘Here goes nothing...’_

The blonde bit his lip again and strode across the slightly uneven ground, stealing short glances at the unfamiliar faces that were seated at the fancy tables, eating plates of hamburgers, hot dogs and Armin was sure he spotted some short ribs. Everything looked _so delicious._

He climbed the two wooden steps that led up into the sitting area of the gazebo. Jean and Connie both looked in his direction with identical smiles.

“Hey guys.” The blonde said, waving with his fingers.

“Hey Ar.” As per usual Connie was the first to speak to him. “Feels like I haven’t seen you in ages and we _live together_.”

“I’m sorry.” Armin poked out his bottom lip. “Work’s been… kicking my ass.” That was the truth, but only partly so.

He was sure Connie said something else in reply but Armin’s eyes unconsciously went to Jean. They spent a few awkward seconds just _staring_ at one another before it seemed Connie had finally caught on that something was up.

“…Am I missing something here?” The shortest of the trio looked between them with enlarged eyes. “You two look like you just committed a murder or some shit.”

Jean snorted out a laugh as he broke the gaze. “It’s nothing, man.”

_‘Nothing? Really, Jean?’_

“It sure doesn’t _look_ like ‘nothing’.” Connie punched Jean in the arm, evoking a loud groan from him.

For the first time in what was probably _years,_ Armin felt stupid. Did Jean just belittle what happened between them as “nothing”? Honestly, he was about five seconds away from turning on his heel and hailing a taxi home, but what Jean said next caught him off-guard.

“Connie… I need you to disappear. Armin and I need to talk.”

 _‘…So he does care…’_ Or… at least it seemed that way.Armin sighed and ran a hand through his hair, watching as Connie rose up from the bench and put a hand on his hip.

“You two… s _eriously_.” He shook his head. “I swear to God, if y’all aren’t together in an hour I’m rioting.”

Armin’s face immediately flushed at the bluntness of his words. He wasn’t looking at Jean, but he was certain his face was just as red, if not more so.

“S-shut up, man.” Jean cradled his head in his hands, but Connie continued on.

“Pfft, not a chance. I love you both _too much_ to endure this ‘will they won’t they’ crap any longer.” He shook his head a few times. “You obviously like each other, and it’s clear _something_ has happened. So please, do us _all_ a favor and get together already, okay?”

Armin’s mouth was gaping now; his entire body from the neck-up turned an embarrassing shade of red. “T-Thanks for the speech, Connie, but…” He rested his hands on his shoulders and gently nudged him towards the stairs. “Kindly leave for a bit so we can, uh, talk?” Armin was far too spooked to look at Jean so he kept his eyes on Connie’s back as he heeded his request and descended the stairs, but not before petting his arm for good luck.

What felt like an eternity passed before Jean finally spoke up.

“…Armin?” He cleared his throat.

The blonde slowly turned to face him, his hands clasped together behind his back. As he’d assumed, Jean’s face was even more flushed than his own. Without a word he plopped down onto the bench next to him.

“…Well that was-”

“Connie’s right, you know.” Jean interjected as he blinked his eyes towards him. “After that kiss, I thought things were good between us. But you haven’t breathed a word to me since.”

“I’ve had work.” Armin said almost instantly. It was true, they both knew it. As soon as Armin had handed in his two-week’s notice – he wanted more time to focus on school – his boss made sure to pile as many shifts on him as possible, presumably as a way to compensate for the fact that he was losing his best employee. Armin worked ten hours on Tuesday, and seven more today. Honestly he was exhausted. But that wasn’t the only reason he hadn’t spoken to Jean, and he was sure that was pretty apparent.

“That’s true, yeah.” Jean sighed loudly and began absentmindedly fidgeting with his fingers. “I know you’ve been working but… I feel like there’s something else. Do you regret kissing me or...?”

Armin’s shook his head furiously, looking Jean dead in his hazel eyes. “N-No, oh my God. Of course I don’t!” He was actually pouting now as leaned a bit closer to the taller boy. “I thought _you_ regretted it, to be frank. I thought since it was so spur-of-the-moment I might have scared you off or something…”

“ _Armin_.”  Honestly, the blonde had expected him to look annoyed then, but Jean surprised him by smiling and lifting his hands to cup Armin’s cheeks. His palms were _so_ soft and warm; just like they’d been two days ago, and Armin could feel himself melting all over again...

“Yanno you read too much into things, and you have a nasty habit of thinking the worst in every situation.” Jean stated, a chuckle lifting his lips.

“Yes, I’m aware. Thanks for pointing it out…” Armin’s eyes squinted together, pout remaining on his lips. Where was he going with this?

“What I’m saying is…” Jean bit on his lip, and _fuck_ he looked _so_ sexy, Armin almost had to turn away from him. “You’re worrying over nothing. Was I not the one who told you I liked you first?”

Armin’s gaze flicked downward, and not just because the sight of Jean biting his lip made his insides burn hot.

It seemed feeling like an idiot was a common theme for the day.

“I’m… so stupid….” Armin breathed out, his eyes fluttering closed. “I’m so sorry.”

Jean used the grip on his face to promptly turn his eyes back up to him. His smile remained, never once faltering as he leaned closer. “Shut up, Armin. You’re the smartest person I know.”

Armin found himself smiling as well, his own hand shyly moving to rest over Jean’s as he started up at him.

Time seemed to stop, at least for a little while.

Or at least until their kiss was intercepted by a gnat flying smack dab into Jean’s mouth.

* * *

 

 

> Wednesday, August 27th, 12:03am

“ _What_ are you doing?”

Armin folded his arms as he stared at the sight before him, a frown etching onto his lips. “Hey, Jean!” He snapped his fingers to get his attention, but Jean didn’t seem to hear. His voice was likely drowned by the sound of water sloshing around as the brunet idly backstroked along the deep end of his pool.  

“You dummy, you’re supposed to be _helping_ us.” Armin crouched down at the edge of the pool to get a better look at him. That was the deal they made; after things began to wind down Armin selflessly gave up his ride home with Levi to stay behind and help Jean, Farlan and Isabel clean up. It went well for a while until it inevitably turned into Isabel and Armin doing the majority of the work, while Farlan and Jean dicked around outside.

Two solid seconds went by before Jean actually realized he wasn’t alone; when he noticed Armin sitting there he moved so abruptly he lost his balance and nearly sunk down. “Oh shit...!”  Somehow though - he probably had his childhood of competitive swimming to thank - Jean managed to get his footing back, and he treaded water until he got to the shallow end and was able to touch his feet to the pool’s floor.

“S-Sorry.” The taller boy muttered, eyes drooping with guilt as he paddled towards the edge of the pool where Armin was crouched. “I thought we were almost done.” He coughed up a bit of chlorine water that was lodged in his throat. “And you know how _alluring_ pools look at night time, with the full moon shining on the water and all that junk.”

 “No, I wouldn’t know.” Armin narrowed his eyes and flicked Jean in the nose. He knew he couldn’t legitimately be mad with him though; at least not when Jean was shirtless and _soaking wet_ , and looking at him with those gorgeous hawk eyes of his. “..Before I moved in with you guys I lived in a two-bedroom mountain home with a yard the size of your living room. So I wouldn’t know anything about what pools look like at night.” Armin shifted, his weight resting on his thighs as he glanced up at the sky above them.

“And it’s not full yet, actually. The proper term is _Waning Gibbous_.”

Jean blew out an airy laugh as he shook his head. “You know, Armin, you amaze me.” He folded his arms over the edge of the pool and rested his chin on his hands. 

“Why’s that?” Armin tilted his head to the side.

“Because.” Jean looked up at him. “You can be so _condescending,_ but so cute at the same time.”

His words caused Armin to stab at his lip with his teeth, and he was all the more thankful that their only real light sources came from the moon and the pool lights, so Jean couldn’t see how deeply he was blushing.

“You dork.” Armin rolled his eyes, but leaned closer to him still. “Trying to disarm me with your bogus attempts at flattery so I’ll forget that I’m mad at you.”

“And is it working?” Jean smirked at him.

Armin reached down and rolled his jeans up as high as he could without cutting off his circulation, then slid off his shoes. “Not a chance.” He moved so his legs were on either side of Jean’s shoulders and submerged a few inches in the pool. “The operative word there was _‘bogus’_.”

Jean licked his lips and took a few moments to just survey Armin’s face, and even with the lack of light the blonde could see that his face was about as red as his swim trunks.

“You sure it didn’t work..?” Jean straightened his back and leaned upwards so their noses were only a few centimeters apart. Armin swallowed to gather himself, but his hands began to tremble with an ache to just wrap around Jean and kiss the air out of his lungs.

“I’m sure.” Armin cleared his throat. He needed to gain control of this situation and fast, before his desires got the best of him and made him do something he’d definitely regret later on _. ‘Get Jean out of the pool, force him into cleaning. Go home, sleep._ ’ He repeated the phrase in his head like a mantra.

But it wasn’t that simple, especially with the close proximity between them. Jean was gazing up at him, his hands on either side of Armin’s thighs. Their noses nudged together, and Armin instinctively shut his eyes. He hoped Jean was as affected by this situation as he was.

“Armin.” The taller boy’s voice was firm; Armin’s eyelids lifted some, but not much. It seemed in that moment of darkness the space between them had only decreased. The blonde drew in a breath to steady himself.

“…Yeah?”

A second ticked by before Jean leaned impossibly close, his head tilting to softly fit his lips to Armin’s. All his reservations dissolved and the blonde sighed against him, returning the kiss with mirrored tenderness while his arms lifted to circle his neck. He didn’t even think to care that his shirt got wet when Jean’s hands began to grab at the curve in his spine.

The gentle caress of lips soon gave way to slow, opened-mouth kisses and Armin pushed against him, his fingers sinking into damp locks as he just reveled in the feelings evoked by Jean’s lips moving against his own. It was only fleeting though, because almost as soon as it began the kiss was ended by a familiar voice shouting at them from the other side of the yard.

Jean was the first to pull away. He sunk himself down into the pool as he panted, lips kiss-stained and eyes blown. The blonde dropped his arms and looked in the direction the voice had come from.

“What the _hell_?” Isabel was standing few yards away from them, her arms folded over her chest and her foot tapping on the ground. “Minnie, I sent you out here to _retrieve_ Jean, not to stick your tongue down his throat!”

 Armin rubbed his nape and quickly pulled his legs out of the pool, ignoring the fact that his blush had now spread down to his neck. “Oh… sorry, Isabel.” He pressed his tongue against his inner cheek. “I came out here to do just that but…. I got a bit distracted, as you can probably see.”

Isabel sighed and unfolded her arms as her features softened some, taking a few towards them. “….Okay. Usually I’d be annoyed but I really like you, Min.” She tapped the toe of her converse on the grass as her hands rested on her hips. “And unfortunately, I know how _irresistible_ Kirschtein men can be at times.”

Armin just grinned as he unrolled his jeans and slid his shoes back onto his feet. “I hope you can forgive me.” He tilted his head and pursed his lips together, a practiced (and proven successful) act that he used in the past to get his way.

As expected, a smile curved onto Isabel’s lips.

“Of course I can, cutie.” She nodded, and then shifted her eyes to Jean with a small scowl. “As for you, get out of there and finish your duties so we can all go home. It’s _after midnight_.”

Armin smiled in triumph as Isabel pirouetted and began striding back towards the house. When he looked to Jean, his lips had formed a small ‘o’.

“….You _little shit_.” The brunet squinted at him as he lifted up and out of the pool, grabbing a towel that was sitting on one of the pool chairs. “Don’t think I didn’t just see that.”

Armin just blinked at him. “I have _no idea_ what you’re talking about, Jean.”  He chuckled and moved to stand up, gaze momentarily shifting to the night sky. “The full moon’s almost here, you must be getting a little crazy…”

“Oh, fuck off, Armin.”

The blonde laughed, wordlessly following Isabel’s path to the back door and making sure to walk fast enough to purposely leave Jean a few paces behind.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ATTENTION: expect updates to be slow until mid-december or so. I need to write stuff for jearmin week so yeah. uwu


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY FOR THAT LITTLE HIATUS. i haven’t had much motivation to write anything at all, hence the reason i haven't done anything for Jearmin week as i thought i would. but oh well, at least i have circle’s end. uwu 
> 
> also fun drinking game: drink every time Jean calls armin cute in this chapter.

 

 

 

 

> _Saturday, September 27 th, 12:39pm_

It was hard to believe an entire month passed, but it had. Jean was sure to keep track with the ATLA calendar that hung above his desk that yes: it’d indeed been _thirty days_ since that kiss. Jean considered it the advent of he and Armin’s relationship, since there was never really a defining moment where either of them had asked the other to be “boyfriends”. It just sort of happened. He supposed after that kiss there was a mutual agreement that they wanted to date each other, and despite the _heaviness_ of the kiss, Jean and Armin managed to keep things casual.

And on their terms casual meant going on dates every chance they got when they weren’t in class or Armin wasn’t at his internship.

So yes, in theory, today was their “one-month”, and Jean was driving himself up a fucking wall because he probably should have gotten Armin a present. Or at least arranged for them to go somewhere. But incidentally, today was also the freshman-parent dinner (A mixer arranged by their school for the parents to mingle and get to know the professors) so there wasn’t much he _could_ do. But that wouldn’t stop Jean from feeling lousy.  

And then he sat up in bed with a sudden thought. He was certain Armin was asleep right now– on the weekends the blonde tended to sleep well after noon – so Jean could prepare him something nice to eat. He remembered Armin mentioning once how much he loved strawberries (especially when drizzled with chocolate) and Jean was pretty confident in his baking skills. A plate of waffles topped with strawberries and powdered sugar would say “happy one-month of dating” just fine.

_‘Yes, perfect. I’m **the man**.’_

Thoroughly pleased with himself, the brunet swung his legs over the side of his bed and stood. The change of season hadn’t at all affected the internal temperature of the apartment so he could still waltz around in a t-shirt and basketball shorts. Armin, however, was the polar opposite. Jean was certain the kid had a mild case of anemia or some sort of iron deficiency because even in the summer his loungewear was always abnormally heavy. Jean never complained though; he looked so fucking nice in those sweatshirt-and-legging outfits he always wore.

 _So cute_. Armin was _so cute_. Jean was so lucky.  

He stretched his arms above his head as he exited his room and strolled into the main area of the apartment. Thankfully the den was empty; Connie was staying at Sasha’s and probably wouldn’t be returning for another few hours. Knowing him he’d come back thirty minutes before it was time to leave for the dinner. Jean sighed in relief though; no doubt if his friend got wind of what he was doing he’d use it as leverage to tease him into the next century.

Jean wrinkled his nose at the thought and flipped the wall switch, bathing the room in bright fluorescent light. He made the small trip into the kitchen and, as he fastened his _totally-manly-so-you-can-fuck-off-Eren_ plaid apron around his hips he considered how exactly he should go about making the waffles. Jean was sure there was some premade mix up in the cupboard, but chances were Armin would be _far more_ impressed if he made them from scratch.

_‘Fuck yeah. It’ll earn me some kisses for sure.’_

He hated to admit that thought excited him but it did. Jean figured they must’ve kissed countless times already over the span of this month, but he still got grossly giddy about it. It was pitiful, actually. He’d not felt that way about kissing someone since….

 _No._ He wasn’t going to think of him. Marco didn’t matter to him anymore. He wasn’t _supposed_ to matter. Jean had Armin and he was okay.

_‘I’m **more than** okay.’ _

That was right. Jean was great, really. The blonde made him happy. And he _took care_ of him. He always made sure Jean was on the right track – whether it be about coursework or returning his library books on time (admittedly the constant nagging about returning his manga got a little irritating but he overlooked it because Armin was seriously adorable when he got snippy. How was anyone supposed to stand their ground in an actual altercation with him anyway?).

The brunet bit into his lip as he reached into the fridge for the milk and eggs, then collected the dry ingredients from their respective areas in the cupboards. When he glanced at the clock on the stove Jean realized it’s was almost one. He hoped Armin wouldn’t wake up just yet; he wanted to be at least _almost_ done before he was found out.

As he worked, he let his thoughts wander over the past few weeks. Jean still couldn’t believe he was already so far into the first semester of college, nor could he wrap his mind around the fact that _October_ was just around the corner.

But the thought that was hardest to grasp was this thing with Armin. Even though they’d been on several dates already (mostly to the movies; or some evenings after classes Jean would drive Armin up to the nearby beach and they’d sit on the sand and just talk) it still felt considerably surreal and fresh to be with him.

He supposed that was a good thing though. According to Sasha the _honeymoon stag_ e was supposed to last for three months. (That sounded like a load of BS but when Sasha got going it was hard to shut her up) That meant he had sixty more days to feel blissfully happy with Armin before…. Well Jean wasn’t too sure, since the person advising him this crap had been with her boyfriend for nearly four years.

Jan rolled his eyes as he grabbed for the waffle iron and plugged it up. _‘Sasha doesn’t know what she’s talking about as usual. The course of a relationship depends on the people involved. Well….unless one of them dies or something.’_

Jean tilted his head and began absently humming the tune of Frankie Valli’s “Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You”. He remembered some modern pop cover of that song had been playing a few days ago when he, Armin, Connie and Sasha had went on a double-date sorta thing to the outlet mall uptown. They ended up not being able to do much before it suddenly started raining, but they did take a bunch of selfies while trying on sunglasses at Sunglass Hut. A collage of those ridiculous photos was on Connie’s Instagram now. Jean favorite was definitely the one of him and Armin wearing identical shades and doing the back-to-back MIB pose.

He snickered to himself and sprayed the iron with a bit of oil, then poured the batter inside and closed the lid. While they baked Jean decided he’d chop up the strawberries because he was becoming more and more anxious that Armin might wake up before he was done and fuck everything up.

 

But lucky for him he didn’t. The waffles came out unsurprisingly well, even though he might’ve added a smidge too much vanilla extract. It wasn’t until Jean was sifting powdered sugar over the strawberry topping that he heard a familiar groggy voice speaking from the living room.

“Mm, the smell of breakfast summoned me.”

Jean looked up to see Armin standing a few yards away from him. He had on a cotton jumper and (really short) track shorts,  with grey twill socks bunched around his calves. He began to rub at his eye with his sleeve as he took a few sluggish steps towards the kitchen.

Jean grinned at the sight. “Good morning to you, too.”

“G’morning, Jean.” Armin smiled at him when he walked over, peaking at the plates with curiosity. “Um... wow, those looks really good.” His gaze lifted back to Jean and his eyes skimmed over the apron for a moment, then returned to his face.

The compliment, though not at all unexpected, made Jean’s grin grow broader. “Thanks. I made them for us.” He grabbed the plates and set them each in front of a bar stool, motioning for Armin to take a seat.

“Oh really?” The words made Armin’s cheeks pinken slightly, he noticed. _‘Cute.’_ “But… what’s the occasion?” He sat down with a raise of his eyebrow.

 _‘He doesn’t know?’_ Jean frowned. He thought Armin would be the type to remember things like this, so he was a little surprised. The brunet walked over to grab two glasses from the drying rack and filled each with the peach juice he’d grabbed from the fridge.

“Oh uh,”

Now Jean felt embarrassed about saying it. He cleared his throat.

“Nothing special just… you know, today’s September 27th,”

“Yes, I’m aware. Tonight’s the freshman-parent dinner.” Hesitantly, Armin picked a strawberry off the topmost waffle and popped it into his mouth. “…Did I forget an important date? Oh crap, what. Your birthday isn’t until April. Mine isn’t until November. I don’t really—“

“ _Armin_.” Jean almost laughed outright at his reaction. A panicked look briefly crossed the blonde’s features before he shook his head and grabbed for his fork and knife.

“Relax _.” ‘Though it’s cute when you get worked up.’_ “Like I said, it’s nothing special.”

“Then tell me already.” Armin huffed in feigned annoyance. “I refuse to eat until I know what I’m eating these for.”

 _‘You just ate a strawberry.’_ Jean bit back a snort and sat one of the glasses in front of Armin. “Last month – exactly thirty days ago I mean – was Farlan’s cookout.” He cleared his throat while the blonde tilted his head some, the whisper of a small already tugging at his lips. Jean was pleased. “And uh, we kissed. In the pool, remember?”

“How could I forget?” Armin chuckled, then some realization began to sweep over his face, but before he could speak Jean continued.

“So uh, to me… to me that kiss meant something. Like the kickoff into this” He waved his hand around between them. “ _Thing_ between us. It kinda feels like our one-month anniversary.” Jean looked away for a second then turned back to Armin, closely observing as he considered Jean’s words. He could feel his cheeks beginning to heat up rapidly.

Armin’s smile from before returned brighter, and he traced a finger around the rim of his glass. “Oh my God, Jean.” He stared as Jean sat next to him at the bar. “That’s _incredibly_ sweet.” Shyly, he leaned over to peck the taller boy on his red cheek. “I’m sorry though. I would have remembered but I wasn’t really paying attention to the dates….”

Jean momentarily shut his eyes, reveling in the feelings evoked but such a simple act. “You don’t have to apologize. Honestly, I was glad to cook for you even if there wasn’t an occasion.”

Armin looped his small arm through Jean’s larger one and leaned his chin on his shoulder. “I don’t deserve you, Jean Kirschtein.”

Jean flushed at his words. He looked at the blonde. Armin’s eyes were doing that fucking twinkling thing they’d done the first time they kissed, in the plaza. How the hell was he supposed to resist that?

Jean leaned in when Armin craned up, their lips touching together in a sweet, languid kiss. Armin tasted predominantly of toothpaste – no surprise there – and the remnants of the strawberry he’d just eaten. The combination was bitter to his taste buds but Jean couldn’t say he minded much. When they pulled away, Armin was grinning. He nudged his button nose against Jean’s.

“So one _whole_ month, huh?”

“Yep, a whole entire month.”

Jean gave Armin’s hair an affectionate ruffle, then mirrored his actions and turned to his plate. He chewed on the inside of his cheek. Even at eighteen years old (and a proper amateur chef) he still had no honest idea how to actually cut up his food. He just angled his fork to the side and improvised.

Armin seemed to notice the struggle because an airy laugh was heard to his left.

“Having trouble, Jean?”

Jean cursed under his breath.

“No, no. I just think it’s more practical to cut my waffles this way.”

The blonde laughed again, knowingly, but it was intercepted by a yawn. A sweet, kittenish yawn that caused his eyelids to form into crescents.

Jean couldn’t contain his grin. _‘Must everything you do be so effortlessly cute? For fuck’s sake, Armin.’_

But instead of speaking his mind, he simply asked “Tired?”

Armin stabbed his fork into another strawberry and began dabbing it around in the sugar. “Yes, but it’s to be expected. I didn’t really sleep much last night…”

“Why not?”

“…Ar?” Jean turned on the barstool to face him. The blonde boy was chewing thoughtfully on the end of the strawberry held to his lips.

“I was having some nightmares.” He finally said. Jean cocked his pierced brow.

“Nightmares?” He scooted slightly closer to him. “About what?”

Armin didn’t look at him, but he sucked in a breath and seemed to take his sweet time when he sipped his juice. Then he rubbed his eye with the sleeve of his jumper.

“I don’t really remember, strangely enough. But they happen so often that I’ve gotten used to it. It’s odd… almost every time I wake up I’m startled. I feel cold and anxious. But I never ever remember what they’re about.” His voice lowered into a mutter when he added “they started after my dad went to jail.”

That last part was so quiet Jean almost didn’t catch it. But he did, and he pressed his tongue against his gum. _‘He’s never told me exactly what happened with his dad… just vaguely touched on the subject…’_

But Jean wasn’t stupid. He watched the news. He had a few ideas of what Armin’s father could have done to send him to prison.

_‘I wonder if Armin will ever tell me what happened.’_

Armin’s next words were spoken with such a contrasting tone that Jean flinched.

“But anyhow, these waffles are _delicious_ , Jean. Like IHOP status.” He pressed some into his mouth and made a slight moaning sound, his head tilting from side to side.

Jean squinted, unconvinced, but he didn’t say anything about it. He just mumbled a soft “thank you” and went to eat his own food. He glanced to Armin from time to time to see if he’d notice any discomfort, but there was none. The blonde was smiling as he ate and rambled senselessly about how much he _adored_ strawberries.

* * *

The hours until they had to get ready for the dinner were spent on the living room couch. Armin’s head rested on the armrest and his bare legs were stretched out over Jean’s thighs, but Jean didn’t mind. He would periodically stroke Armin’s calves as they watched SVU together and passed a bowl of lime Tostitos back and forth.

They’d been thoroughly enjoying themselves for a while: making snide comments about Liv and Elliot’s _obvious_ romantic affair and trying to pinpoint the plot twists (Armin had figured out two endings already) but at three o’clock the blonde had sprung up from the couch and said he needed to get ready.

“The dinner’s not until six, yanno.” Jean had said, and Armin just replied with a sweet smile and a list of all he had to do and the approximated time each would take. Jean shook his head, chuckling out his defeat and let him scamper off into the bathroom for a shower.

 

Now an hour had passed and Jean could hear Armin blow-drying his hair.  Connie had lugged in a few minutes ago, just as Jean assumed he would.

_‘I should get ready too….’_

But they didn’t have to leave until 5:30. Jean wasn’t like Armin; taking a _whole fucking hour t_ o get dressed was not in his budgeted time. He always looked good no matter what he wore, he thought, so there wasn’t much to worry about. Jean was sure he had some semi-formalwear hanging around _somewhere_ in his closet.

The blow drying stopped then. A few seconds passed, and then a small surprised “Connie! I didn’t even know you were here!” was heard. Jean smiled and bit into a Tostito. He wondered if Armin was dressed yet. Probably not. He stood up and brought the chips along with him as he padded out of the den and down the hall to his room.

 

As he assumed, finding something to wear had not been an issue. Jean set out a cotton plaid button down, dark wash jeans, and a corduroy blazer. He debated his shoes for a moment before settling with a pair of maroon-colored DM oxfords, wondering idly what Armin was wearing. Maybe (probably) he’d steal a peak after his shower.

* * *

 

 

>   _Saturday, September 27 th, 4:55pm_

A dreaded sense of inadequacy washed over Armin as he surveyed his reflection. He knew he looked alright, but he was hardly the label-whore Jean (or even Connie) was. The lot of his clothes came from the thrift store or F21, and on some occasions the kid section of H&M, but he’d never even thought to poke inside Urban Outfitters. He always wanted to though, as depressing as it was. He knew Sasha worked there part-time, and he also knew it was Jean’s preferred place to buy his clothes. Many a time he found himself stepping on shopping bags from there when he was in his room.

_‘Don’t be ridiculous, Armin. The only thing you’d be able to afford in there is a single earring.’_

Sighing, Armin smoothed out his sweater for the fifth time since he put it on. It smelled like pears, but that wasn’t surprising. It was the scent of the cologne he’d worn since high school. _Winter pear mist._ It happened to be seasonal but Armin wore it year round, never giving a care to the odd looks the store clerks gave him when he brought five bottles to the counter every other December.

As of right now three bottles of the fragrance sat on his dresser next to the array of makeup and nail polish. Today – to spare his parents the grief – he’d only swiped on some baby pink lip tint and filed his nails down evenly. His hair was straightened flat and he wore three silver studs on his right ear – two on the lobe and one cartilage piercing.

His fingers lowered to smooth an imaginary crease on the button down that peeked out from beneath his sweater. It was intentional; the cream-colored top had a wide neck (in his opinion, it was too saucy to wear without something beneath it for the place they were going) so he threw it over a simple white shirt with a Peterpan collar. Both garments extended just passed his bum so he was able to get away with a pair of leggings and his favorite lace-up ankle boots.

The more he looked, the more satisfied Armin became with his outfit.

“Hey, you.”

The energy shifted in the room and Armin bit his lip when he saw Jean standing in his doorway from the view allotted by the mirror. The brunet leaned on the doorframe with one foot crossed over his ankle.

“Hi, Handsome.” Armin regarded him, an impish twinkle in his eye. “You look…” His gaze traveled over his outfit in the mirror. “Dapper.”

Jean grinned appreciatively and strutted over. “You look _hot_.”

Armin blushed, playing off the compliment with an unbelieving wave of his hand. When Jean stood next to him he studied their reflections with a tilt of his head. Jean was half a head taller than him, with a larger, leaner frame, but he was hardly the brawny man he probably liked to pretend he was. His muscles were wound taut into slender limbs, and defined hips that were currently accentuated by how long slung those skinny jeans hung on his waist.

Armin drew some air into his lungs.

_‘Good lord.’_

He turned on his heel and reached for Jean’s wrists, gently running his thumb over the veins there as he pulled his arms around his waist and brought him closer. His own arms looped themselves around Jean’s neck and he tiptoed up to kiss him fully. Jean grinned against him.

“What’s that stuff you’ve got on your lips? It tastes like mango.”

“It’s passion fruit, actually.” Armin whispered, though his mind was only half there because Jean’s mouth was becoming extremely distracting.

He felt the taller boy push against him and kiss him deeper, one of his hands sliding up the effeminate curve of his spine to his upper back, touching the ends of Armin’s hair. The blonde sighed into the kiss, very carefully prodding Jean’s bottom lip with the tip of his tongue before he thought of something and promptly broke the connection (though not by much; his forehead still rested against Jean’s.).

“Ar…min…?” Jean breathed out his name, his cheeks flushed red.

 _‘God he’s cute. And sexy. Kill me right now.’_ Armin momentarily averted his gaze, before stepping down entirely and lowering his arms to his shoulders. Jean seemed to be thinking along the same lines when he moved a hand to rub his nape.

“I guess… something’s on your mind too?” He asked. Armin nodded, chewing at his lower lip out of habit. He’d probably have to reapply that lip tint before he left.

The taller boy took the liberty of stepping away and settling himself at the edge of Armin’s bed. He patted the space next to him with expectant eyes.

“C’mere. Talk to me.”

Armin took in a steadying breath as he heeded Jean’s request to sit down, leaving little space between them so their thighs touched.

“I need to ask you something...” Armin stated, eyes plastered to the wall.

Jean gazed at him quizzically. “Yeah? What?”

“Well um,” And suddenly he didn’t want to ask him. But if he evaded the subject Jean probably wouldn’t stop pestering, so he breathed in again before he finally spoke. “It’s about tonight. Are you sure you’re ready to introduce me to your parents? I mean, I’ve already met them but that was when we were just friends. Now we’re dating. And I’m not sure if they’ll be all that accepting, y’know? Your mom seems sweet but your dad honestly scares the crap out of me Jean. I just—“

“Okay, slow down.” Jean chuckled, and suddenly Armin felt a soft hand close over his own. He hadn’t realized his fist was balled until Jean began stroking the bent knuckles. “Relax.”

As per his request, Armin took _another_ deep breath. But his nerves had hardly settled. How could Jean be so calm right now? He finally tore his eyes away from the wall and looked at him, and that was when he noticed his eyes were shaking.

“You’re scared about tonight, I get it. Honestly I’m scared too. Like you have no idea.”

Armin heaved a sigh of relief. _‘Nice to know I’m not the only one.’_

“But not about _my_ parents. Ma saw us kiss at the cookout. She also saw how much we flirted that day, so… we don’t have to worry about her. She’ll love me no matter what I do.” Jean snorted, seemingly irritated by that fact. “My father though…. I’m not gonna lie. He’s…. extremely conservative. I mean, he already knows I’m pan so he isn’t really fazed by who I date anymore. Doesn’t mean he’s gonna like it, but it’s something.”

Armin let Jean’s words register. He’d admit the reassurance that his parents wouldn’t hate that they were together (well his mom at least) put his mind at ease. He unclenched his fingers and turned them to lace through longer, tanner ones.

“Then what’re you scared about…?”

Now, it was Jean’s turn to avert his eyes. “Honestly? _Your_ parents...”

 _‘Shit.’_ Armin had nearly forgotten about Nifa and Erwin, and frankly, he hadn’t the slightest of clues as to how they’d react to everything. He sighed and lightly squeezed the brunet’s hand. “Oh… understandable.” _‘But it’s not like they have a right to judge me.’_

Jean swallowed thickly. “How… how do you think they’ll react to us being…”

“Boyfriends.” Armin finished, a tint of pink spreading over the bridge of his nose. “Right?”

“R-Right.” Jean looked down at his lap, which caused Armin’s eyes to widen in panic.

 “What? Why’re you looking down?”

“It’s nothing. It’s just… that’s the first time I’ve heard it.” Jean glanced up again, his entire face a deep shade of red. Armin suppressed a giggle and brought their joined hands up to his mouth.

“Well Jean,” He said, kissing the boy’s knuckles and giving a possessive squeeze. “You’re my _boyfriend_.”

A lopsided grin made its way to Jean’s lips and he leaned in to softly nuzzle his nose. “Yep, I’m yours. And you're mine.”

* * *

 

 

 

 

> _Saturday, September 27 th, 7:10pm_

Jean was right in that his parents hardly batted an eye when they stood before them, hands joined, and declared they were dating. Mrs. Kirschtein (She’d insisted Armin call her Colette) had just smiled and said “That’s great news, Jeanbo, looks like you’ve snagged yourself a cute one.” Mr. Kirschtein grunted and muttered on about how Jean needed to be careful because Armin resembled a porcelain doll.

The whole thing lasted ten minutes. Jean spent a good seven of them dispelling the claims his mother made that he was a “problem child”, while Armin laughed and sipped his birch beer. Just before they excused themselves, Colette asked Armin where _his_ parents were, to which he replied, “Not sure. They’re probably running late!”

 

Thirty-four minutes later and there was _still_ no sign of them, but at least Armin had the distraction of his friends to keep those thoughts at bay. Connie brought along his trusty flask (Lord knows what it was filed with this time) and was discreetly pouring drops of it into his, Jean and Eren’s drinks, while Mikasa watched in mild horror. Sasha and Krista snickered behind their hands, and even Armin had to have a laugh.

“You guys are _hope_ less.” Said Krista, sipping on her alcohol-free drink with a shake of her head and an accompanying grin. “Did you not have enough to drink at the club last night?”

“You can never have enough to drink, Kris.” Connie replied, taking a large swig of his own drink for emphasis.

Armin knew little about what happened the night before since he’d been at home working on the readings he had to do for his psych class. But his Instagram feed had kept him posted, and he had a few laughs when he saw how utterly ridiculous his friends were acting. It was amusing to watch videos of Jean and Eren drunkenly serenading each other with the lyrics of Jason Derulo’s “Talk Dirty”.

The blonde glanced up when he felt an arm around his waist. Jean pulled him into his side while he talked, and Armin smiled absently, feeling the vibrations of his voice when he leaned his head on his chest. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Eren looking at him, a cross between a smirk and a scowl on his lips. Armin couldn’t really say for sure, but his friend was probably conflicted between being grossed-out and feeling happy for him. Mikasa pretended she didn’t see where Jean’s arm was, but every now and again she sent Armin a knowing smile. That was good enough of a blessing for him.

 

* * *

 

 

> _Saturday, September 27 th, 7:49pm_

_“Hello, this is Nifa Lange. I’m unable to reach the phone at the moment but please leave your name and number and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Have a nice day!”_

“Hey, mom… You guys didn’t forget that the dinner was tonight, did you? I’ll text you the address of the school just in case. See you soon, or…. maybe not?”

Armin lowered his phone and ended the one-sided call. He’d done all he could not to let it bother him, but it was nearly two hours into the dinner and his parents _still_ hadn’t arrived. He sighed, resting his palms on the sink of the bathroom as he eyed himself in the mirror to ensure his distress hadn’t affected the thin layer of foundation he was wearing.

The restroom door pushed opened and a dark-haired man of average height and build (and an excessive amount of wrinkles and frown lines) strolled in. Armin smiled politely when the man brushed passed him and into a stall at the far-end of the room.

Armin tossed a final glance to his reflection before tucking his phone into his cross-body and walking out of the door. He nearly bumped into the small body that stood just outside.

“Oh! Sorry Armin!”

It was Krista who was staring up at m him, her eyes wide and apologetic. Armin couldn’t resist another smile as he shook his head and rubbed the arm of his sweater.

“No worries. Why’re you standing outside of the men’s restroom?”

“My dad just went in there.” Krista jerked her head in the direction of the door Armin had just came through. “He wants me to introduce him to my professors. Like Dad, I’m in college. _Way_ overbearing.”

Armin chuckled, but he felt a slight twinge in his chest when he had nothing to contribute to what she’d said. If anything, Nifa and Erwin just felt like distant relatives that he’d only just met and was introduced to at a family reunion. They certainly didn’t give off a very _parental_ vibe.

“…Want me to kidnap you?” The blond boy tipped his head to the side and slid his arm through hers. Krista beamed.

“God, yes. Hurry.”

Without another word they wormed their way through the throng of people to a less crowded area of the ballroom. Armin had tried to look out for their friends – and his boyfriend – but it seemed they were all with their parents, and he avoided approaching because he could definitely do without the pitiful looks he’d get when he told them his own family hadn’t shown up.

Krista sat on one of the benches that lined the wall and tugged Armin down with her. Surprisingly they were the only two there, except for a ceramic saucer that held crumbs of what Armin assumed to be one of the fruit tarts from the buffet table.

“So… I don’t mean to pry but,” Krista twisted a curled end of her hair around her finger. “Your parents still aren’t here?”

“No…” Armin huffed. “I don’t really care though.” _Lies_.

“You don’t? Why?”

“I’m not that close to them.”

“Oh” was all Krista said in response. She sat back and began nodding along to the jazz band’s rendition of “Satin Doll” while Armin scanned the crowd to see if one of their friends had broken away from their family. No such luck.

When his phone chirped, Armin nearly jumped and immediately reached into his cross-body. _‘Mom…?’_ But when he pulled it out and checked the screen, he saw that the message was from someone else entirely.

 **[ SMS from: Bertholdt** ] Hey, what’s up?

The blonde’s eyes widened. _‘Bertholdt? What does he want?’_ But he couldn’t deny he was a little thankful for the message, for some inexplicable reason.

 **[ SMS to: Bertholdt ]** Hey Bert! Not much.

 **[ SMS to: Bertholdt ]** Certainly wasn’t expecting a msg from you but it’s a pleasant surprise. C:

**[ SMS from: Bertholdt ]** You busy? Isn’t the freshmen dinner tonight?

Armin stole a side-glance to Krista. She was chatting it up with some redheaded girl that’d approached her, not paying the slightest bit of attention to Armin. _‘Good.’_

 **[ SMS to: Bertholdt ]** I wish I was busy but I’m not, lol.

 **[ SMS to: Bertholdt ]** This dinner is /beyond/ dull. Save meeeeee..

**[ SMS to: Bertholdt ]** Not entertained by Eren and Jeanny ripping each other’s heads off?

 

 **[ SMS to: Bertholdt ]** they’re off with their families while I sit here alone. (╥_╥)

Okay, maybe the alone part was a lie. But Bertholdt didn’t have to know that.

 **[ SMS from: Bertholdt ]** You play the damsel in distress role pretty well lol. Maybe I should rescue?

**[ SMS to: Bertholdt ]** And what do you mean by rescue?

**[ SMS from: Bertholdt ]** Well it’s a Saturday night in the world’s fourth largest city. Your pick.

**[ SMS to: Bertholdt ]** *Third largest.

 **[ SMS to: Bertholdt ]** and ok, what about a movie?

**[ SMS from: Bertholdt ]** you read my thoughts.

“Has anyone told you you guys look like siblings?”

Armin looked up from his phone, a little startled to see his boyfriend stalking towards where he and Krista sat. As usual, there was that adorably stupid grin wiped over his lips. He jammed his phone out of sight and into his bag. _‘Wait, why do I feel like I just did something wrong…?’_

“ _Everyone_ says that.” Said Krista, one leg crossed over the other while her fingers drummed on her upper thigh. “Jean, are you tipsy?”

“Not even. Connie only put a little of that stuff in my soda.” Jean wedged himself between them, and Armin sighed contently when he felt his arm curve around his shoulders. He leaned into him.

“….You smell a bit like nail polish remover.” He commented, confirming Krista’s suspicion that he _was_ indeed tipsy.

“It’s just ‘cause I had a little.” He turned his eyes on the blond boy, grin fading into a stern look as he inclined a bit closer. “…Did your parents ever come?”

The question made Armin look away, which probably gave Jean his answer. Another sigh left his lips when he slid his arms around his boyfriend’s middle and hugged onto him needily.

“Jean.”

“Hm?”

“I… I think I wanna go home.”

“What? Why?” Jean and Krista asked in unison, both of them staring at Armin in bemusement.

“It’s just,” Armin blinked down to his lap. “This is a dinner for the students _and_ the parents. I feel out of place.” _‘And the sight of everyone with their family is depressing me severely.’_

He looked up only when he felt Jean’s hand clasp onto his own. He had a concerned, but somewhat understanding, look in his eyes. “O…kay… if you leave, do you want me to come with you?”

“No!” Armin’s exclamation was a little louder than intended. His shoulders shook and he lightly squeezed his boyfriend’s hand. “Your parents want you here. And besides… I could go home and catch up on my reading. Some quiet time could do me good!” He piped up the end of his sentence in an attempt to reassure Jean that he was okay, but the look he gave him was clearly unconvinced. There was a long, deafening pause before anyone spoke.

“….Armin….” Jean sighed, not really knowing what else he could say.

“I’ll be okay, I promise.” The blonde petted Jean on his shoulder, then leaned up to chastely kiss his lips. There was a faint cooing sound to their right when the contact was made. _‘Damn it, Krista..’_

“I’ll come home early to make sure. And call me at intervals. When you get too the train station, and again when you’re home alright?”

 _‘Must you be so sweet?’_ The corners of Armin’s mouth lifted into a smile when he stood up and grabbed his bag. “Yes, of course.” He looked to Krista, then back to his boyfriend. “Tell everyone I said sorry, but I had to go, okay?”

“Sure thing, Ar~” Krista waved with her fingers and blew a small kiss. “Be safe!”

Armin gave the pair one last smile before pivoting on the heel of his boot and beelining for the exit. Once he was positive they couldn’t see him anymore, he grabbed for his phone and typed a reply to Bert’s message.

 **[ SMS to: Bertholdt ]** where are you? Let’s meet. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not sure if i've mentioned that i have a tumblr, but i do. my url is jearming. i post all my updates there so if you wanna follow you can. c:


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally feel like I haven’t updated this fic in over a month… well not a whole month but it’s been about three weeks hasn’t it? I’m really sorry ;; it’s not me losing interest in anything I still ADORE this fic (I was tweaking the timeline yesterday and added in some stuff I think will be really cute tbh) it’s just…. The holiday season has brought on a lot of writer’s block and idk why... also I’ve never actually been good with updating as speedily as other authors. Who knows why. It just takes me a long time to write shit. e n e 
> 
> Anyway, enough rambling about things no one cares about. I hope y’all enjoy this SUPER LONG OVERDUE update. Also, I think I’m gonna start replying to comments now. Yep. So there’s that. You should like, idk, give me comments to reply to. That’d be grool.

 

> _Saturday, September 27 th, 9:03pm _

Text messages were impersonal. A person’s true nature, or their intentions, could easily be lost in an exchange of digital communication. Like, how was Armin supposed to know he’d been flirting with Bertholdt? He wasn’t. He didn’t know. He’d unwittingly led him to believe they were going on a date.

But it was unlike Armin to be unaware. Somewhere in his subconscious he _did_ knew that _maybe_ what he’d texted Bert could be misinterpreted. But it wasn’t his fault. He was just a sweet, naturally friendly person, who would never do anything wrong. On purpose. Never.

Armin mulled over this during the train ride to the plaza, expertly plotting what he’d say to Jean if he asked where he was. He felt awful about it, but he also knew Jean had a temper and it was better to appease his boyfriend with what he’d want to hear then tell him the truth: _I duped you and Krista into thinking I was going home but really it was just so freaking suffocating in there and I needed to leave but I didn’t want to be alone or burden you with leaving early too so I ran off with unassuming Bertholdt to ease my sorrows._

_‘Ugh.’_

He looked at his phone. Jean had asked him to call when he got home. ‘ _My phone is dead….’_ He pressed the hold button and slid the screen to power it off.

Armin wasn’t a bad kid. He _adored_ Jean, and didn’t want to worry him or make him upset. But dealing with head-on conflicts or telling people the truth when he knew it wouldn’t be what they wanted was not exactly his cup of tea either. So he played naïve.

He found his saving grace when he remembered the dinner ended at midnight. It was nine. Ideally, he and Bertholdt could find a movie that started soon and be over before eleven. Then he could get home before the dinner even ended and Jean realized something was up. The only thing he’d have to worry about was being interrogated about why he hadn’t called him, which he could easily spin in his favor.

A sick, satisfied smile curled onto Armin’s mouth when the train stopped and the doors opened. It was an impenetrable plan. He’d be okay. His relationship with Jean would be okay. And everyone would be happy.

He left the train and ascended the wide staircase that led up from the mezzanine. On the other side of the tolls, a tall, dark-haired boy with warm eyes was waiting for him. His entire outfit was dark: a black fleece, dark-washed jeans and black trainers. Armin smiled and waved while he paid his fare and was granted exit out of the toll.

“Not gonna lie,” The blonde grinned as he stepped in front of Bertholdt and stared up into olive eyes. It was clear he didn’t put as much effort into his physical appearance as Jean or his friends did, but the rusty look sort of worked for him.

“You look like a serial killer in those dark clothes.” _‘But a hot serial killer.’_

Bertholdt stared right back, a small, forced chuckle leaving his lips as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I appreciate your insight, Armin. ...Um, shall we?”

Armin nodded and let the taller guide him out of the train station. The plaza – just like that night he’d sat with Jean – was lit up with lights strung on the tree branches and old-timey, iron-wrought street lamps. Armin loved the atmosphere. It was unlike anything in Shiganshina.

“So… how’ve you been, Armin? I haven’t really seen much of you, except around campus.” Bertholdt looked down at the blonde, smiling gently.

“I’ve been great! Did I mention I’m dating Jean? We’re a serious thing now.” Armin folded his hands behind his back and looked up for his reaction. He’d expected surprise, but the brunet didn’t seem too fazed by what he’d said; he just continued smiling and turned their direction towards the cinema. “I gathered that from how affectionate you two seem on campus. You’re not very discreet, you know.”

“W-We weren’t trying to be.” Armin blushed. “And like _you’re_ one to talk. Eren’s told me the stories about how you and your boyfriend always got busted for PDA in high school.” He smirked slightly.

The remark had been lighthearted, but Bert’s sudden glum expression made Armin think he might have struck a nerve. _‘Oh crap.’_

“Oh… Reiner and I—“

“Oh.” The blonde bit on lip. _Nervous habit_. “…Did you guys break up? Sorry, I didn’t—”

“No. Well not exactly. It’s complicated.” Bert glanced up at the waning moon above them with a sigh. “….Our relationship has always been rocky... We’ve been dating on and off for a few years. And it certainly doesn’t help that his university is all the way across the country.”

Armin’s smile faded. A small hand extended to touch Bertholdt’s forearm through the fleece. “Oh… but why do you put up with it? That doesn’t sound like a good situation.” 

“Because I love him.” He muttered, “And when we’re good, we’re _really_ good. He’s all I think about, and it feels like ecstasy.” Bertholdt sighed in longing, and Armin briefly flashed back to the time Connie tried to get him to try E. “But when we’re bad… well, I feel like I could destroy an entire town.”

Armin found himself grimacing as he spoke, but he shook his head when they reached the ticket booth posted outside the theater. “The line’s short…” He mused in hopes of lifting the mood. To his delight Bertholdt strode towards the booth and peered up at the list of movies.

“What would you like to see?” He asked, looking over his shoulder at the much-shorter blonde.

“Hm.” Armin’s lips pursed as he scanned the list. His eyes lit up when he stumbled upon the film he’d been _fiending_ to see since he saw the trailer for it in the spring. “Ooh, The Maze Runner!”

Bert chuckled at his excitement and nodded. “Alright then. One adult ticket and one….” He looked Armin up and down with a teasing look in his eye. “One… _child_ ticket?”

* * *

_Saturday, September 27 th, 9:49pm_

“It’s crowded,” Armin commented as he and Bertholdt entered into their designated theater. He held a cup of Dibs, Sour Patch Kids and a Pepsi in his hands while the taller man carried the popcorn. Armin rose on his tiptoes to peek at the rows over the sloped wall that lined the entryway. “Let’s sit at the back, ‘kay?”

Bertholdt stood beside to him. The top of Armin’s head only just reached his shoulder.

“Alright… But why the back?” He raised an eyebrow.

Armin snickered and tilted his head up to him. “It’s to spare the other people trying to watch the movie. You’re so freaking _colossal,_ I doubt anyone would be able to see passed your head.”

He didn’t hear Bert’s response over the previews but he did look mildly offended. Armin considered apologizing as they climbed to the back row but he didn’t get a chance before the taller male spoke again.

“…This movie looks… _terrible._ ” Bertholdt said as he looked to the screen, where a trailer for some film that looked like a carbon-copy of The Hunger Games was showing. Armin wrinkled his nose.

“It looks unoriginal, and tastelessly so.” He sat down and pushed his cola into the cup holder. When Bertholdt sat next to him Armin noticed he sat the same way Jean did: with one long leg bent and crossed over his knee. Armin swallowed and sipped his drink. He suddenly felt unbelievably guilty.

_‘Wait, why am I feeling guilty? We’re just two friends going to the movies. There’s no harm in that.’_

Right. No harm at all. The blonde leaned back in the reclining movie chair and turned his gaze to the screen. The last preview had just ended and the movie was starting, finally. He twisted open his cup of Dibs and held it over to offer some to Bertholdt. A large hand dipped into the container and grabbed two. Armin tried not to marvel at how long and slender his fingers were, but he couldn’t help it.

 _‘ **Stop it** , Armin.’ _The blonde mentally kicked himself and shut his eyes. When he opened them again, the other male was turned towards him with knitted brows.

“Are you alright?” Bertholdt’s voice was hushed. Two, long seconds passed before Armin nodded and brushed the tips of his fingers over his temple.

“Yep! Just mentally preparing myself for Dylan O’Brian.” He blew out a soft chuckle and lifted a Dib to pink lips.

 _‘I’m allowed to think a friend’s hot.’_ _Of course_ he was. It wasn’t a big deal. Eren was hot. Connie was hot, in a cute-baby-face-with-freakishly-bulky-muscles kind of way. Jean’s brother was hot. Levi was sort of hot, too. And of course all Armin’s female friends were _goddesses_. Just because he thought those things didn’t mean he was ready to _hop into bed_ with them.

_‘So why are you worrying so much? Calm down. Enjoy Dylan.’_

Armin sunk a little in his seat and crossed his legs at the ankle. He drew in a steadying breath, idly wondering what _his boyfriend_ might be up to as the opening scene played on the movie screen.

* * *

 

 

> _Sunday, September 28 th, 12:02am_

It had taken a few hours for Jean’s buzz to wear off, but when it did he wasted no time in leaving the dinner and driving back to the apartment.The alcohol had only dimmed his mind enough to keep him from worrying about Armin every ten seconds, but now that he was sober and well enough to drive, his need to get home was his first priority. He had to know if Armin was okay. Jean could only imagine what his poor boyfriend might be doing alone in that apartment, without anyone to comfort him about how shitty his parents were.

_‘Why wasn’t I more persistent? Why did I not go home with him?’_

_Because you’re a fucking idiot, Jean. Armin needs you_. Jean clenched his teeth and his grip tightened on the steering wheel as he pulled into the campus apartment complex. The parking lot in front of his building was almost empty. Good. The sooner he got inside, the better.

He parked near the front and switched off the engine. When he looked up, Jean saw that there was no light behind the curtains that draped over Armin’s bedroom window. _‘Is he asleep?’_ That would explain why he wasn’t answering any of Jean’s calls. He’d tried his boyfriend eight times already, and each call met the monotonous drone of a standard voicemail message. Jean had done everything he could to not get angry and understand that Armin probably wasn’t in the mood to talk, but he was still pretty annoyed that he didn’t at least _text Jean_ and assure him that he wasn’t dead.

He exited the car, walked the small distance to his building and slipped inside. As he ascended the elevator he thought more about it, and Jean began to sincerely hope that Armin was asleep; mainly so he wouldn’t have to see how pitiful he probably looked but also because if Armin was awake and was _blatantly_ ignoring Jean’s calls, he wasn’t sure if he could notbe pissed at him. And Jean didn’t want to be pissed at his boyfriend.

But then he remembered what Eren said to him earlier that night and his gears shifted a little.

_“He may not admit to it but Armin is probably really hurt. So try not to be an ass and freak out on him.”_

_‘Of course he is...’_   Taupe eyes moved to the floor as he exited the lift. Jean was so lost in thinking about Armin and how he was feeling that he only briefly noted the light beneath the door sweep when entering his apartment.  

“…Jean?”

Jean looked up. Armin was in the kitchen, sitting sideways on one of the barstools with his hands wrapped around a ceramic mug. He stared at him as if he didn’t believe he was standing there.

“Um... hey, Armin…” Jean didn’t know what to ask him first. _Why didn’t you answer your phone? Are you okay? Have you spoken with your parents?_

His boyfriend sat the mug on the counter and got to his feet. “You’re home early.” He remarked, head tipping to the side as he sauntered over on socked feet.

“I told you I would be, didn’t I?”

“You had a few drinks in you when you said that.” The blonde grinned at him. “I didn’t think you were serious.”

“Well I was seriously worried, so yeah I meant it…” When Armin stood in front of him Jean instinctively wrapped his arms around him and pulled him into his chest. Armin’s chin pressed to his collarbone when he looked up, grin shifting into a gentle smile.

“You didn’t need to worry, idiot. I told you I was fine.”

 _‘_ You’re _the idiot, Armin. Just who do you think you’re fooling?’_ But instead of questioning him like he’d intended, Jean leaned down and kissed him. He could feel the boy smiling against him as small arms went around his neck, and for a moment, Jean actually forgot his reason for coming home in the first place.

Armin tensed in his arms when a noise was heard behind them. Confused, Jean pulled away and looked, feeling Armin’s hand squeeze his forearm.

“J-Jean, I— wait…”

Jean stared, disbelieving, at the man that had just entered the den from the hallway. His eyes narrowed and he turned them down on his boyfriend.  

“…The fuck is going on?”

Bertholdt Hoover looked nothing less of a deer caught in the headlights as he stood there; his eyes wide and Jean was sure bead of sweat had slid down from beneath his fringe. He shrugged his arm from Armin’s grasp and strode over.

“H-Hey, Jean….” The taller male acknowledged him warily.

“What are you doing here?” Jean snapped, squinting up at Bert and folding his arms.

That was when Armin shuffled up to stand next to him, rubbing the side of Jean’s arm in attempt to soothe his nerves. It didn’t help.

“…I was trying to kill some time until you and Connie came home so I decided to do some laundry.” He reached up and tucked his hair behind pierced ears. “Bertholdt was just… sitting in the laundry room alone and he looked really bored so we sparked up a conversation. I invited him up for some tea while his clothes were washing.”

“I um,” Bert cleared his throat, “Went back there to uh, use your restroom.”

Jean glared, and even with the stalk difference in height and general body mass, Bertholdt took a step back and averted his eyes to the ground.

“How very thoughtful of you, Ar.” Jean spoke dryly as his hand rested atop his boyfriend’s head, eyes fixed on Bertholdt. He wouldn’t say what he really thought about this because he knew it would probably upset Armin, so instead, he feigned a yawn.

“Uh, not tryna be rude or anything but I think you should go, Bert. It’s late. I’m tired.”

Bertholdt glanced at Armin (for their sake Jean pretended not to notice the exchange of strange looks), then to Jean.

“Oh… alright then.”

Armin’s mouth opened to speak but then he closed it again. He shifted his weight onto his other foot and looked up at Jean. “Jean, you don’t have to—”

“No, Armin. Jean’s right.” Bertholdt held up his hand. “It’s after midnight and uh, I’m pretty sure I need to put my clothes in the dryer now, so…”

Jean nodded, hand lowering to Armin’s shoulder and giving a small squeeze. “Yeah, Armin. Let the guy go.”

“I apologize if I overstepped any boundaries.” Bert actually looked guilty as he walked passed them to the door, and Jean almost felt bad for him. Almost. But he didn’t. He just shrugged his shoulders and looked away, avoiding the annoyed look from Armin.

“Have a good night, Bert!” His boyfriend waved with small fingers.  

“Yeah, you guys too.”

And then he was gone, the door shutting behind him.

Almost immediately Armin moved from under his arm and turned on his heel, staring up at Jean with a pointed look.

“I’m sorry I didn’t answer my phone.”

Somehow though, Jean knew his words were meant more to spite than to actually be apologetic. When Armin began to walk back towards the kitchen Jean sighed.

“Are you really?”

The blonde stopped in his tracks, shoulders stuttering. “ _I beg your pardon_?”

“…I know you heard me, Armin.” Jean rolled his eyes. “Are you really _sorry_? Because I can’t tell.”

That was when Armin spun back around. His brows were furrowed and he was frowning as he took steps towards him. “Seriously, Jean? Of course I am.”

But Jean didn’t believe him, and before he knew it he was pissed and the words spilled out of him before he had a chance to stop himself. “Really now.” He squinted at him. ”So at _what point_ when you were chilling with Bertholdt did you think to _call your fucking boyfriend_ and tell him you were okay? Or did that not cross your mind at all?”

Armin was glowering at him now. His lip twitched, blue eyes searching his face as he took a deep breath. “Jean... don’t do that—“

“Do what?” Jean pressed, voice steadily rising in volume, “I’m asking questions, which you need to answer and stop being so fucking evasive.”

Armin looked both wounded and pissed off as he sighed again, fingers twitching. “ _D_ o _not_ raise your voice at me. Calm down, okay? I just…” He glanced away from him and clenched his fists. “…I wasn’t in the mood to talk. And before you say ‘but you were talking to Bertholdt’, yes, I was. Because I knew I wouldn’t be subjected to a fucking interrogation when I was with him. I really, _really,_ wasn’t in the mood to talk about it.”

 _‘Do you hear how selfish you sound?’_ Jean groaned _._ “Arm—“

“ _Don’t_ interrupt me.” Armin snapped, and Jean wouldn’t lie and say it didn’t scare him a bit. “It’s not for the reasons you think. I promise you that. I just didn’t want people asking me if I’m okay, and then having to repeatedly explain that ‘yes, I’m fine and stop asking me before I explode’. I needed some on my own, but I also didn’t really want to be alone so I invited Bertholdt to hang out with me for a bit.” When Armin looked back at him, he was pouting. _What the shit?_ Did he not realize he was fucking _pouting_ at Jean when they were in the middle of a serious talk?

“Was that wrong of me?”

 _‘Yes.’_ “Well…” _‘Don’t be a fucking pushover, Jean.’_ “It was awfully selfish.” He gave his boyfriend a hard look. Armin visibly recoiled.

“I’m really sorry, okay? I didn’t think it was that big of a deal.”

 _‘Are you fucking kidding me? Not a big deal?’_ Jean really didn’t want to be annoyed with him again but he couldn’t help it at this point. He turned away – he wouldn’t be able to stand his ground with Armin looking at him like a wounded kitten – and sighed.

“Armin, you’re too smart for this. I’m your _boyfriend_. It’s a huge fuckin’ deal when I come home, after worrying sick over you, to find just you chilling with some random dude in _our_ apartment.”

“Bert isn’t random.” Armin corrected softly.

“Regardless.” Jean rolled his eyes for the second time that night. “You’re missing the point. I was worried, and I just wanted to make sure you were okay but do you even _care_ about that?”

Armin looked down, said nothing. Jean blinked.

“…Well? You gonna answer me?”

“…I’m… shit. I’m really sorry, Jean…” That time when Armin said it, Jean could detect no venom in his tone. He actually looked really defeated, and sad. And guilty. But before Jean could do anything he was speaking again.

“You’re so good to me, you know? I’m an awful person for not realizing how much you care.” Armin looked up at him. “Having someone fuss over me like this is really new for me. The only people that ever gave a damn about me were Eren and Mikasa, and of course I had Aunty Karla and Uncle Grisha, and grandpa too, but they never really _understood_. So I’ve learned to keep to myself and I—”

Armin’s words were cut off by Jean’s lips pressing firmly against his own, kissing him tenderly as his hand moved up to cup his cheek. Armin blinked and pushed at his chest for a second before finally closing his eyes and just letting Jean comfort him. When they pulled away, the blonde huffed and nuzzled his face into his boyfriend’s neck.

“I’m sorry, Jean. I didn’t mean to be a bitch.”

_‘Well you’re pretty fucking good at it.’_

“It’s okay…. But I _hate_ when you shut me out. I asked you not to do that, remember?”

“I know…” Armin melded into his chest and softly sighed. “It’s what I’m used to. I’m working on it...”

Jean said nothing, just hugged him tighter and buried his face into his hair. _Sweet_. It was that almond shampoo Mikasa had bought for him back in the summer. Jean’s fingers dragged along the length of Armin‘s back as he heard the boy murmur against him.

“Let’s not fight like that again.”

“It…wasn’t really a fight.” Jean chuckled.

Armin pulled back some, brows knitted together as his lower lip jutted out. “It was. And I hated it. I don’t like that feeling I get when you’re mad at me.”

“But it’s only happened once…” Jean tapped his nose with the tip of his finger. _‘Why are we talking about this right now Armin? Fuck.’_

Armin reached around and took Jean’s hand, twining their fingers together as he brushed over the pad of flesh between Jean’s thumb and index finger. Then, that sad look from before returned. “...I don’t deserve you, Jean.”

Jean snorted. “Would you _stop_ saying that? Of course you do...” He brought him close again, holding him by the small of his back as he peppered kisses along his cheek bones, his nose, and then his lips.

_‘You’re fucking stupid, Armin. You’re the most deserving person I’ve ever met.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Jean. Such a good boyfriend.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My internet has been acting wonky as fuck so this update came a lot sooner than expected. Let’s just hope I’ll actually be able to post it > n >
> 
> Here’s some things to be aware of in this chapter:
> 
> 1) The first part is kind of saucy, ahem  
> 2) There’s some heavy implications of child abuse  
> 3) Jean’s (and Eren’s) potty mouth

 

> _Wednesday, October 1 st, 7:51am_

“You know, when I said I needed a wake-up call this isn’t exactly what I had in mind.”

“Well what _were_ you thinking?”

“I-I don’t know. Like a five-hour-energy shot or some coffee, or perhaps— _oh_.... _Jean_ …”

Jean smirked as Armin squirmed beneath him, the tip of his tongue trailing a hot line down the skin beneath his ear. Armin’s fingernails dug into his biceps as he continued to babble senselessly about how they’d only just woken upand that he had to get ready for class soon (which was a load of shit because Armin’s first class didn’t start until after twelve), but the blonde kept on mewling, pushing his hips up into Jean’s as he sputtered out dumb reasons why they shouldn’t be doing this.

Still, beneath his protests there were whines of _“oh Jean”_ and _“yes”_ and that was really all Jean was paying attention to. He rutted his hips against Armin’s again and earned a particularly loud gasp from the boy, his nails pressing further into his skin.

_‘So cute, Armin. Fuck.’_

“Do that again….” Sighed Armin, one hand sliding around to give Jean’s firm ass a squeeze through his pajama bottoms.

But before Jean could heed the request there was a vibrating sound to their left, and Armin immediately sat up on his elbows and nudged Jean away.

“My phone…”

“Ignore it.”

“N-No, I…” Armin looked conflicted as he stared up at him, his entire face and neck flushed red. “Let me just see who it is.”

 _‘There’s only one person that would be calling you this early and you and I both know it.’_ Jean groused to himself and heaved a frustrated sigh as he rolled off of Armin. They were finished; he knew that much as he watched the blonde reach for his phone and look at the screen.

“It’s Nifa.”

“I know that.” Jean lay on his back and stared at the ceiling. “You’re not going to answer it, are you?”

“I think…” Armin wetted his lips. “I think I should.”

 _‘For fuck’s sake, Armin.’_ “You’ve been ignoring the woman for days and you choose _now_ _of all times_ to speak to her?” But Jean already knew his answer, and he couldn’t say he was all that surprised. It wasn’t the first time this week Armin had stopped them in the middle of their – _ahem, stuff_ – for some stupid fucking reason. He’d forgiven him before but now Armin was choosing _his mother_ , the woman who had completely screwed him over just days before, over spending time with the person who adored him and would do just about anything for him at this point.

What a load of shit.

Jean sighed loudly as he half-listened to Armin speak with Nifa _. Hey, mother. Yeah I’m fine. I’ve been awake for a while. No, it’s okay. I wasn’t expecting anything._ A dry laugh, then _, Right now? Oh, um… okay._

There was a pause, and then Armin ended the call and sat the phone on one of his many pillows. He loomed over Jean and bit his lip. “Don’t hate me."

_‘I don’t think I could ever hate you, shut up.’_

“What is it?” Jean’s eyebrow raised, and Armin grumbled.

“Nifa and Erwin want me to stop over there before class.”

Jean didn’t bother hiding his distaste at his words. “…. _Really now_?” He sighed as he reached up, grabbed Armin’s sides and pulled him flush against his chest. His boyfriend giggled into his neck.

“Armin,” He breathed his name, evoking a small shiver from the blonde. Jean lifted his hips and ground against him roughly. He made damn sure Armin was feeling the very prominent bulge in his cotton pajama bottoms.

“That’s what you’re leaving behind if you go.”

Armin’s stomach tightened against him, his hands resting beside Jean’s head as he hoisted himself up to hover over him. He took a deep breath.

“Don’t make this hard for me...”

Jean looked up into his eyes, the smirk dying on his lips as he reached up and brushed some blond hair out of Armin’s face.

“Is there… a reason you keep evading getting close to me?”

And then, silence. Armin stared at him for a few seconds before he exhaled and rolled off, sitting at the edge of the bed with his back facing Jean.

“…Don’t be silly.”

* * *

 

> _Wednesday, October 1 st, 11:40am_

Now Jean might have been dense, but he wasn’t stupid. He had the B-average he maintained all throughout high school to prove that much. So of course, when Armin denied using this meeting with his parents as a way to avoid fooling around with him, well… he knew it was a straight-up lie.

The thing was though, Jean didn’t understand why. They’d been together for a little over a month now and it wasn’t like he was expecting _sex_ yet (though he certainly wouldn’t decline if offered), he just wanted to _touch_ Armin; he wanted to do more than what they’d been doing, which was kissing and holding hands or having the blonde sit in his lap when they’d watch the tele at home. All those things were great, yeah, but Jean had urges that he’d much rather have Armin satisfy than do it on his own. Which is what he’d been doing ever since their little trysts began.

At first Jean thought Armin might not be into it, that maybe he felt pressured or something, but two out of the four times this had happened the blonde had initiated it. Which made it even more frustrating that literally _every single time_ Jean got his hand under his shirt, he was off about how they needed to stop because “his stomach was hurting” or “Jean, your hands are freezing”, or something ridiculous like that.  

It was all _so_ fucking maddening. And confusing. Which was why he was sitting in the campus coffee shop after his morning class, picking at his lemon biscotti as he waited for a certain someone to join him. Jean needed to talk to someone about this that wasn’t Connie; someone that knew his boyfriend better than he did (even if he’d never admit to that fact aloud).

Eren Jaeger entered the shop at 11:45. He was wearing their high school’s sweatshirt, with the big blue falcon head printed on the front. _‘How fucking tacky.’_ Jean snorted as his friend maneuvered his way through the room, nodding to a few familiar faces before approaching Jean’s table.

“People are gonna think we’re gay.” Eren said as he sat opposite him.

Jean rolled his eyes. “We both have boyfriends, you ass.”

“I meant gay _together._ ” Eren grimaced as he placed his phone on the wooden table and tapped at the screen. “Speaking of boyfriends, mine is on his way to pick me up so can we make this quick?”

“…Mhm…” Jean sucked in a breath and took a few moments to mentally prepare himself for the ridicule Eren would undoubtedly be dishing on him after he told him his problem. Or maybe he’d get a first to the face. He wasn’t too sure _how_ he’d react. He bit into his biscotti and leaned over the table so he wouldn’t be overheard.

“Eren, uh, you and Levi…  you guys,” He gulped and looked away from him. “ _Fool around_ , right?”

He couldn’t see Eren’s face but he was sure he was surprised, and maybe a little offended, by the question. “The _fuck_? Why are you asking?”

“It’s just a question, man. We’re friends. Friends tell each other shit...” Jean _hated_ that he was blushing while talking to Eren fucking Jaeger, but that didn’t stop the tips of his ears from burning red.  

“You’ve never been curious about my sex life before.” Eren’s eyes narrowed and he smirked knowingly at Jean. “What is it? This about a _certain blond flower boy_?”

_‘Shit. I forgot Jaeger isn’t as stupid as he looks.’_

“Wait, is it really? What the fuck are you doing to Armin?”

Jean groaned. ‘ _Here we go..._ ’ He broke his biscotti up in little pieces and pushed one into his mouth. “Shut up and let me explain.”

 

 

 

“…It’s happened _every time_ , Eren. I shit you not. _Every time_.” Jean waved his long fingers for emphasis as he looked down at the table’s surface. He felt utterly raw and embarrassed now that Eren was aware of his issues with Armin, but also kind of relieved because now he could like… help him. Or something.

He’d assumed Eren would be smug about this but he actually listened intently the entire time, expression unexpectedly apologetic. It was like he _knew_ something Jean didn’t know, and that sort of pissed him off.

“So what d’you think? Is Armin losing interest in me?” Just saying that aloud made Jean’s stomach turn unpleasantly.

Eren was silent for a few seconds. He checked the time on his phone and then sighed, lifting teal eyes to Jean. “Usually I'd fuck with you about something like this, but…”

_‘Oh shit.’_

“It’s… not you.” Eren’s face was actually sincere; an expression Jean wasn’t sure he’d ever seen before. “….I’m not going into detail with this because it’s not my place to tell you. I’m positive Armin will eventually tell you on his own.”

“Is it bad?” Jean frowned.

Eren glanced away from him.

“…Well?”

“…Something happened. When he was younger.” When Eren said this his teeth clenched and he suddenly looked really pissed off. Jean was confused, but also sort of intrigued so he urged him to continue.

“Go on...”

“…It was _fucking awful_ , Jean. He didn’t deserve that shit I just— okay. But listen, it isn’t because he doesn’t want to do those things with you. From what you told me it seems like he does, he’s just.. I don’t know, uncomfortable? This thing that happened… Armin thinks he has me and Mikasa fooled when he says he doesn’t care, acts like it was no big deal. ‘Oh, it’s the past so does it matter anymore?’ _Of course_ it fucking matters, Armin. You were—”

And then Eren stopped. Jean’s fingernails were digging into his thigh now, his eyes wide. ‘ _Oh my God.’_ All he could think about was his father. He’d went to jail, and Armin never told him why but jean had ideas. And now that Eren was saying these things—

_Fuck._

_Armin, no._

“From that look on your face I’m guessing you knew something already or…?” Eren finally relaxed his jaw as he peered across the table at him.

Jean coughed, hoping he could even-out his voice enough to form a coherent sentence. But his hands were shaky, and his heart hurt. Bad. _‘Poor Armin….’_ “…Uh, I knew his father went to jail, and… from the hints Armin’s been dropping throughout the time we’ve known each other I mean, I knew…. but also I didn’t know? But now I…”   _‘Get it together Jean._ ’ “H-He was… by his… father?” He was putting the pieces together as he spoke, and he was sure the distress was evident on his face.

_‘Armin didn’t deserve that… he didn’t deserve it... fuck…’_

Eren sighed. “Don’t ask him about this, Jean. Or… if you do, don’t be a dick and ask it in a way that makes you seem like you already know something, okay? He’ll know it was me. Armin’s fucking scary when he’s mad—”

“Chill…” Jean held up his hand to shut Eren up, even though he was the one that probably needed to chill at this point. “I’m not… entirely sure I want to know. At least not yet. He can tell me when he’s ready…”  

Eren nodded and drew in a deep breath, sideglancing his phone on the table. “…Speaking of being ready,”

 _‘I’m not sure if I can take any more bombs being dropped on me right now, Jaeger.’_ Jean grunted.

“I… I think that Armin does wants to… have sex with you.” Eren’s nose scrunched at the last part of his statement. “I’m assuming that because you said he initiates it sometimes right? Maybe like… he thinks he’s ready, and then realizes he’s not and stops because it doesn’t feel right.” He paused. “I’m thinking maybe he’s trying to fool himself into thinking he’s okay when he’s really not. He thinks doing that stuff with you will serve as some sort of confirmation that he’s fine. But he’s not fine. You get me?”

 _‘Oh.’_ Jean looked down as he let what Eren said sink in. He’d admit that would explain a whole lot, and he knew he should have some peace of mind now that he had an idea _why_ Armin was being so fucking wishy-washy, but all Jean felt at that moment was guilty. He’d pushed his boyfriend into an uncomfortable situation, one that probably forced him to relive some really _awful_ memories. Jean knew he couldn’t really blame himself because it wasn’t as if he’d _known_ that Armin was — _deep breaths, Jean—_ abused as a child, but fuck. He still felt so bad.

But there was no way he was going to lose his composure in front of Eren fucking Jaeger, so instead he  simply said “You’re a lot smarter than you look, y’know.”

Eren smiled sadly and shrugged his shoulders. “I know Armin a lot better than he thinks I do.”

Jean nodded and picked up another piece of his biscotti. He was about to send Eren off, reminding him that Levi was supposed to be picking up before Eren spoke again.

 “Hey, Jean.”

“What?”

The other boy looked away. “Armin just... wants someone to make him feel safe. And loved. So I think maybe you should wait a little longer until you try getting in his pants again? Or at least until he tells you about his father.” Eren looked a little uncomfortable, probably ‘cause he was trying to make peace with the fact that he’d basically just given Jean permission to debauch his best friend. (Not that he would be debauching him; if anything all Jean cared about now was making Armin happy) He would have smirked but he knew that would be in bad moral taste, so he just slightly smiled instead.

 “Thanks, Jaeger. I’ll keep that in mind.”

* * *

 

> _Wednesday, October 1 st, 4:36pm_

“No offense, kid, but you’re not much help to me when you sit there and stare off into oblivion.”

Armin jumped, startled, and looked up at his mentor with an apologetic tilt of his head. “S-Sorry! My mind is sorta elsewhere right now..”

Professor Hanji Zoe chuckled and leaned over to pat Armin on his back. “I could see as much when you grabbed the wrong documents. This is _astrogeology_ , not chemistry. That’s not even my stuff. A friend of mine left those here. He teaches at your school... ah, do you know him? Molb—I mean Professor Berner?”

Armin’s lips pursed together in thought, and then he nodded. “Oh… Professor Berner’s a really good teacher! A little unorthodox but—”

“He gets it from me.”

“I can see that.” Armin smiled at Professor Zoe as he was handed the correct sat of documents he was meant to be working with. It was the report on a study of solar systems in the Andromeda galaxy Hanji had been working on these past few months, and Armin was assigned to highlight and annotate before it was turned into the head of the department. It wasn’t likely his opinions would be taken into account just yet though; this was more of a test Hanji was giving him to see how well he could pick up information. Armin didn’t mind since the task was simple enough, it had just been difficult to focus because his mind kept wandering.

But lucky for him, his internship was coming to an end soon and then he could go home and relax, and be with his friends. He smiled to himself as he uncapped his neon green highlighter.

 “I’m gonna take this to storage. You keep working, alright Armin?”

When Armin looked up, he saw Hanji hauling a cardboard box to the lab’s exit. He nodded to the professor before returning his attention the papers in front of him.

‘ _Just finish this assignment and then you can go home.’_

He’d been working for about ten minutes and Hanji still hadn’t returned. He didn’t think anything of it though, in fact Armin was sort of glad he was alone because Hanji had made it _explicitly clear_ that no phones were to be out during work hours, and Armin could hear a beep from the confines of his messenger bag. The blonde peeked over his shoulder to make sure he was indeed alone before reaching into the corduroy bag and grabbing his _brand new_ iPhone.

_“We want you to have this, Armin.”_

_“What? Is that… is that an iPhone 6? Why?”_

_“It’s our way of formally apologizing for missing the dinner. We know it must have meant a lot to you.”_

 

Even hours seeing his parents, holding the sleek device in his hand felt… odd. Armin hadn’t had time to buy a case for it yet so he’d been extra careful, checking on his baby every chance he got to make sure it was okay inside the zipper compartment of his bag. The thing went off again and he looked at the screen, delighted to see that the message was from his boyfriend.

 

 **[ SMS from: Love** ♡ **]** Sasha’s treating us to Thai. What do u want?

 

 _‘Mm.. Thai…’_ Armin smiled and ran his tongue over the seam of his lips.

 

 **[ SMS to: Love** ♡ **]** seaweed and tofu soup (っ´▽｀)っ

 

 **[ SMS from: Love** ♡ **]** Sure thing bb. Miss you x

 

Armin was so lost in thinking how _good_ that soup would taste he didn’t hear the lab doors open, and only noticed Hanji’s presence when it was too late and they were standing over them.

“Oi, Armin.”

 _‘Shit.’_ “Sorry, Professor! It was—”

“It’s fine.” Hanji waved their hands dismissively, grinning down at the boy as he tucked his phone into his bag.

“I have news. Good for you, for me… not so much.”

“What is it?” Armin blinked.

“Well, my neighbor called and told me they can hear one of my dogs whining from inside my house. Which means he must have gotten sick or something…” Hanji frowned slightly. “Anyway, long story short, it seems we both get to go home early!”

“Oh…” Armin didn’t want to be glad about going home early at Hanji’s expense but he wasn’t feeling all that productive anyway; he’d been too distracted to do much so he’d much rather be at home. “…I can finish this tonight and turn it in tomorrow then?” He gestured towards the report on his desk.

Hanji nodded, pushing thick bifocals back into their position. “Yep! That’ll do just fine. Now get out of here. I can tell by that look on your face you were texting someone special.”

* * *

 

> _Wednesday, October 1 st, 5:21pm_

 Armin was greeted by the potent smell of curry when he entered the apartment. His smiled in the direction of the coffee table, where Connie and Sasha were both on the floor, eating out of paper cartons with chopsticks. When the door shut they both looked up.

“Hey, Armin!”Chimed Sasha, sitting cross-legged with her knee touching her boyfriend’s. Connie nodded to him and said something that Armin couldn’t quite understand through his mouthful of noodles. He chuckled and shuffled over to them.

“Started eating without me? I’m hurt.” The blonde pouted in mock-offense and carefully sat his bag next to the couch. He spied an untouched lidded bowl on the table that he assumed to be his soup so he sat down and grabbed for it eagerly, then realized something – or someone, rather, was missing.

“….Where’s Jean?” Armin raised his brows and looked around the room.

“He spilled curry sauce all over his pants.” Connie snorted into his noodles. “He went to change.”

“Classic Jean Kirschtein.” Sasha giggled, using her chopsticks to grab a dumpling from the platter at the center of the table.

Armin shook his head. “Of course.”  He peeled the lid from the bowl, leaning forward to inhale the delicious, familiar smell. “Mm, yes. This is almost as good as the seaweed soup Mikasa used to make me when we were younger.” Smiling fondly at the memory, the blonde reached into the bag and plucked a plastic spoon.

On the television, _The Wolf of Wall Street_ was playing. Armin had never seen it but he witnessed the hype on social media and saw enough trailers to get the gist: Leonardo played a wall-street snake who conned rich people out of their money and ultimately became one of them, featuring a lot of drugs and sex. And an excess use of the word “fuck”.

 

“You know this is in the Guinness Book of World Records for the amount of times you can say ‘ _fuck’_ in one movie?” Jean informed with a smirk, lowering himself to sit next to Armin on the floor. Armin playfully rolled his eyes and spooned a bit of the broth into his mouth.

“You _would_ know something like that.”

Jean leaned his chin on his shoulder and softly kissed just under his bottom lip. Connie wolf-whistled. Armin blushed and returned his attention to his soup.

“So how was your day?” Jean swam his spoon around in his Choo Chee curry, half-watching the television. “Hanji let you out early right?”

“Yes, _Professor Zoe_ let me out early.” Armin nodded. “My day was… eventful. As expected, my parents assume they can _buy_ my forgiveness.” He reached out and grabbed a dumpling for himself, dipping it in Jean’s curry sauce. “Not that I’m complaining of course.”

“Who in their right mind would?” Connie grinned. “Even if your parents are dicks, they’re dicks with money. Might as well take as much advantage as you can, am I right?”

“Fuck, Connie. Never knew you were so wise.” Jean gasped, playfully clutching his chest while Sasha shook her head.

“Unbelievable.”

Armin just giggled to himself and reached over his boyfriend, digging into his bag for his phone. “ _Look what I have~”_ He held up the brand new iPhone 6 and waved it around a few times.

“Whoa, is that the new 6?” Sasha reached for it but Armin promptly drew his hand back.

“Yes it is. And _no_ you can’t touch it. Your fingers are too grimy.”

Jean leaned in to get a better look, hazel eyes widening. “Is _this_ your parents’ way of apologizing? Shit.”

“I know right?” Armin sat the phone on a napkin. Connie peered over at it with a fond gaze. “My dad just got one of these, too. And he’s already cracked it.” He shook his head ruefully.

“Don’t jinx me!” Cried the blonde.

“I’m assuming all your information is the same?” Jean asked, his head tilting as he idly watched the events on the TV screen. Leo and some blond tart were in what looked like a nursery, and the blonde had her pump pressed to Leo’s face.  Armin snorted and nodded to his boyfriend.

 “Same number and all that. I’m not gonna ask how the hell my parents managed to get my phone carrier’s information, but yeah.” He brought another spoonful to his mouth and practically whined at the taste. Jean used his unoccupied arm to snake around his back, skillfully pulling the small blond closer to him so his cheek rested just beneath his clavicle. Armin sighed contentedly.  

“Aye, Armin. Let’s christen your new camera with a picture of the happy couple, hm?” Connie had drawn a pack of wet wipes from his pocket and was now cleaning his fingers. The blonde bit his lip with a cheeky grin.

“Then shouldn’t you two be the ones posing?”

Sasha’s head whipped around at that. She tucked auburn hair behind her ears and clapped . “Let’s all take a picture together!”

 

 

 

The picture turned out really cute. It was uploaded to Instagram almost immediately with the caption: #friends. Armin was fond of it, but he couldn’t deny it made him miss Eren and Mikasa.

As soon as he bid Jean and Connie goodnight he crawled into his bed, burrowed himself beneath the duvet and called Eren. His friend had answered of course, but by the sound of his voice and what Armin heard in the background he was sure he was interrupting his time with Levi. Eren didn’t mention it, nor did he shoo Armin away. He said he was happy to hear from him, that he missed him. Armin had laughed and said it was foolish to miss him since they lived in the same city and attended the same college. (Even though that _was_ the reason he called in the first place.) They chattered mindlessly for a while, and after Eren yawned into the phone and claimed he was getting sleepy Armin let him go, but not before muttering a mischievous little “say hi to Levi for me”.

He phoned Mikasa next. She answered on the first ring, immediately questioning if he was okay and why he was calling so late. Armin had giggled tiredly and just said “I miss you, Mika” and she sighed into the receiver, muttering with a smile that she missed him as well. Mikasa had asked him how he was and how his relationship with Jean was going. She’d also wondered him about his parents, which wasn’t too surprising. She listened intently while Armin ranted about them, giving input between pauses and saying things like “You have to hold onto family no matter what”. Armin didn’t exactly agree with her but he didn’t exactly say that either.

It was well after midnight when the call ended. Armin sighed and rolled onto his back on his bed, staring at the glow-in-the-dark stars he’d pasted onto his ceiling. Even after speaking with his friends he felt… lonely. Why did he feel so lonely?

 

After a few seconds he pushed himself out of his bed and got to his feet, pulling his nightshirt closer around himself as he walked through the hall with fairly-light steps. He saw that there was light coming from Jean’s cracked door and he smiled, carefully drawing the door back and poking inside.

“…Armin?” Jean was sitting on his bed, back pressed to the headboard and long legs crossed at the ankle. His sketchbook was in his lap but it was held at an angle that Armin couldn’t see what was on it.

“Hey…” The blonde rubbed his eye with his fist and scampered over, and without preamble he clambered onto his boyfriend’s bed. “I couldn’t sleep and I was feeling sorta…” He sighed heavily. “I… didn’t really wanna be alone right now, I’m sorry.”

“Oh no, that’s okay…” Jean’s expression was worried as he flipped his sketchbook closed and sat it, along with his pencil, on his nightstand. Then he turned to Armin with outstretched arms.

“C’mere.”

Smiling tiredly, the blonde scooted closer to him and crawled into his lap, allowing Jean to cradle him as his cheek pressed to his shoulder.

“I’m sorry I just—”

“It’s fine, Sweetheart.”

 _…Sweetheart…_ Armin’s hands planted on the bare chest, cheeks heating up. “Call me that again...” When he glanced up, he saw that Jean was blushing all the way down to his neck. He reached out and switched off the light, then cupped Armin’s cheeks.

Then he was kissing his face, muttering _sweetheart_ between each connection of lips. Armin was glad that the light was out so he couldn’t see how deeply he was blushing. He let Jean have his fill before he finally said “I’m tired”.

“Are you okay though…?” Jean lifted a narrow brow and shimmied down the bed so he could lie on his back. Armin rolled off and lay next to him, on his side.

“M’fine.” He leaned forward, settling in Jean’s arms with his head on his chest, a small yawn leaving his lips. “I feel better now...”

“I’m glad.”

Armin hooked his foot around the quilt that was bunched at the bottom of the bed and brought it up around them, cuddling close to the larger boy with a pleasant smile on his lips.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I DIDN'T PLAN THAT FLUFF, I SWEAR.
> 
> this might be a little conceited of me, but I based Armin's character off of myself so much... Which is why it's so easy to write him. We have like the same soul tbh. It's beautiful.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'VE RETURNED TO CIRCLE'S END AFTER A REALLY RIDICULOUS ABSENCE!!! I'm so sorry, really guys. I wonder, do people even still care about this fic? Hmm...  
> To explain where I've been well... a) I told you guys about my fried hard drive, yes? A few months ago I literally lost ALL my writing material (including CE-related things) so the upset surrounding that situation is a huge factor as to why I’ve been dormant here b) I've been working on my own novel a lot recently. and b) my life outside of the internet has really been kicking my ass. But regardless of all that, I HAD to come back to this fic because I really do love it so much. ;; Please forgive me and enjoy this update, okay? I promise never to disappear like that again, but updates might not be as quick as they once were (if they ever were quick?). Only time will tell. I get really sad when I think about the select amount of people who really love this story and think I’ve abandoned completely.  
> **Note: I’m revisiting old chapters and doing a COMPLETE revamp, because they’re all so ridden with mistakes (and really cringy dialogue) it’s unreal. e n e

 

> _Thursday, October 6th, 10:36am_

Jean's bed was toasty the next morning. It took Armin a good thirty seconds to uncurl himself from his fetal position and sit up, reaching over to the cherrywood nightstand so he could silence his phone's alarm. It really did suck that Jean's classes were in the morning, Armin thought, because he was sure if he'd been home right then there'd be a plate of breakfast waiting for him in the kitchen, and he wouldn't be subject to spending his  _own_  money for something to eat.

But alas, he was alone, and that seemed like the plan for the morning.  _'Einstein's doesn't sound too bad...'_ Armin considered it as he kicked the cover off his legs and clambered out of bed.

 

The blonde lingered, standing barefoot on the hardwood floor, eyes closed as he reveled in the familiar scent that hung around in the room. It was  _Jean:_  a cross between musty pinecones and what Armin was convinced was green tea, with an undertone of those horrendously expensive cucumber soaps he liked to use. A smile spread over baby pink lips as Armin grabbed the letterman hoodie that was draped over the desk chair and slipped it on.

It was inexplicably warm and soft, too, but still firm.  _Just like Jean_ , Armin thought, sighing fondly as he perched himself back at the edge of the bed.

 

Just as he reached for his phone it went off again. It was Jean's text tone; an ethereal bell chime his boyfriend had liked so much that he  _demanded_  it be used exclusively for messages from him. Armin remembered being amused at how bratty he'd acted, and he remembered calling him cute and kissing his forehead, too.

 **[SMS from** : Love  **]**   _I can't concentrate on this lecture cos I keep thinking about you._

An embarrassingly  _girlish_  noise spurted from Armin's lips just then. He touched his chest and bit his tongue, fingers crinkling in the soft fabric of the hoodie.  _'Calm down, Armin. You're being gross.'_  But he couldn't help himself. Red was spreading rapidly across his face as his fingers trembled over the touch keypad.

 **[SMS to:** Love  **]** _you disgust me..._

 **[SMS to:** Love  **]**   _but you're so cute._

There was a pause, and then a short vibration to indicate Jean had replied to the thread. Armin's teeth pushed a little further into his tongue.

 **[SMS from:** Love  **]**   _Pfft._

 **[SMS from:** Love  **]**   _Are you thinking about me too?_

He inhaled sharply through his nostrils.

 **[SMS to:** Love  **]** _perhaps..._

 **[SMS to:** Love  **]** _perhaps I'm wearing your hoodie, too._

He could practically see Jean then; sitting at his lecture, probably doodling some anime character at the top corner of a spiral notebook. Armin betted he was looking down at his phone, grinning and blushing. Probably had to suppress some kind of grunt to keep from drawing attention to himself.

 **[SMS from:** Love  **]**   _Pics or it didn't happen._

' _Dork.'_  Armin chuckled and lay on his back, holding his phone at an elevated angle. He was thinking up some wry response when his phone chimed again, but this time it was the standard iPhone 6 call tone.

The blonde half-expected the call to be from his boyfriend, but as he looked at the screen the corner of his lip quirked and he sighed.

"...Hello?"

 _"Good morning. Armin."_  HIs mother sounded tired on the other end.

Armin grunted and mumbled something that sounded like "morning, mother".

_"...Did I wake you?"_

He shook his head. "No."

Nifa paused, and then she was speaking again. " _Good. There's um... something I want to ask."_

 _'Of course there is.'_ He turned on his stomach and his fingers began messing with the fringed edge of the quilt that was splayed over Jean's bed. "Ask away."

Nifa breathed in.  _"Alright so... Erwin's birthday is soon. Well, not really_ that  _soon, but soon enough. The thing is, though... he's leaving for a business trip in Stohess tomorrow evening and we won't be able to celebrate it together."_ Armin could have  _sworn_  he heard a bit of relief in his mother's voice just then. He raised his eyebrow, suddenly intrigued.

 _"So I'm going to prepare a dinner tonight,"_ She went on,  _"Probably Fettuccini Alfredo because that's his favorite."_

Armin stopped fingering the quilt. "Uh huh."

_"And I was going to make a lot... so... I was wondering if you'd like to come? And bring Jean?"_

The blonde nearly choked at her words. Had he heard that correctly? She wanted him to bring  _Jean_  to a dinner with her and Erwin? That didn't seem right at all. He sunk his teeth a bit more into his tongue until the muscle began to sting.

"...Well," There was a slight hesitation in the blonde's words, "This is certainly a  _stark contrast_  to how you acted when I first told you about Jean." He rolled his tongue around in his mouth, recalling a few days ago when he was sat in the living room of Erwin and Nifa's condo, fingers digging into the armrest of the leather couch as he told them the news _._

 

 _"I'm in a relationship,"_  he'd said,  _'With a guy. My roommate, Jean."_

He remembered the look of restrained disgust Erwin wore. He remembered how Nifa's lips had formed an 'o', and she stared at him in what Armin had assumed to be disbelief, and also disappointment.

 _"Does... does this mean you like boys?"_ His mother had asked. Armin had sighed in resignation and turned his head towards the array of Romantic Era paintings that lined the wall left of him, fingers digging further into the armrest.

_"It means I like... people."_

 

 _"Well... I had time to think about it."_  Nifa said, and the words did sound genuine but Armin had his doubts.

"Huh." He pushed himself up on the bed so he was sitting on his knees. "Well... I suppose I can talk to Jean."

 _"Splendid!"_ The smile in his mother's voice was evident. Armin released his tongue and sighed softly.

"That still doesn't mean we're coming. I mean, I don't mind... but Jean... well he's a different story."  _'I don't even think he likes you.'_

Nifa huffed into the phone. _"Well Armin, if you're anything like your mother you excel in the art of persuasion."_  Despite the situation Armin chuckled. She was correct, of course. He rose from the bed and paddled towards the door, deciding he'd best return to his own room and get dressed for the day.

"That's true." He agreed, smiling as he slipped into the hallway.

 _"Then you'll do all you can to talk to him, yes?"_ Nifa urged.  _"I'd like to meet him."_

Armin couldn't help but wonder what exactly had prompted his mother into doing a practical 360 and invite them to dinner so suddenly.  _'Perhaps she really wants to meet him?'_  Somehow the blonde doubted that was all it was. He pondered what Jean might say when - or if - he asked him as he entered his bedroom and waltzed to his closet. Armin guessed Jean might refuse at first, of course, but maybe with some coaxing...

"Yes, I guess I will." Armin shrugged, brushing his fingertips over the color-coordinated array of clothing that hung in his closet. "No promises, though..."

There was a rustling on the other end, and then Nifa perked up.  _"Great. Tell me what Jean says, alright? The dinner is at eight."_  She paused.  _"Even if he refuses, I'd still like to see you, dear."_

Why Armin felt warmth from her words he'd never understand. "Yes, Mother." The blonde grabbed hold of a pair of jeggings, running his fingers over the spandex fabric with a small smile. They said their goodbyes soon after and the call ended, and only after Armin sat his phone on his bed did he realize that Erwin hadn't been mentioned. Not once.

* * *

 

 

 

> _Thursday, October 6th, 1:21pm_

Einstein's wasn't as crowded as Armin thought it'd be, but he was glad for that. He sat near the rear, one skinny leg crossed over the other as he picked into his bagel and waited for Jean to join him. He knew his boyfriend's class didn't end for another nine minutes, and, factoring in the time it'd take him to get here, Armin was probably too early. But the boy hardly minded. There was something therapeutic about the smell of baked goods wafting around the shop that made him more than willing to sit and wait for him.

"Hey, Armin!"

Armin nearly flinched at the sudden voice, but instead he smiled and tilted his head up. Bertholdt was standing at his table with one hand holding the strap of his Jansport. Just the sight of him made some unpleasant memories resurface, but the blonde did his best to conceal that.

"Hey, Bert." Armin regarded the giant man with a tilt of his head and a wave. "What's up? How are you?"

Bertholdt scratched the side of his head. "Oh, I'm alright. I was actually on my way to work, but..." He pointed his index finger to the paper bag in his hand. "I wanted to drop by and pick up a bagel first. I definitely didn't expect to see you."

Armin brought his hand up, licking the cinnamon off his fingertips and leaned forward in his chair. "Oh really now? Where do you work?" He rubbed his calf with the toe of his Minnetonka ankle boot.

"Bee's Tattoos. The one in Vicheim Central." Bertholdt said, and as he did Armin remembered all the markings he'd spied on his arms the day they met. He cocked an eyebrow.

"So… what, are you a tattoo artist or something?"

The brunet chuckled demurely. "Oh, no, hardly. I'm in training, so as of right now I'm just answering the phones and stuff."

"Wow that's..." Armin's smile grew into a more genuine one as he bit into his bagel. "I definitely didn't peg you for the type to be into something like that."

"That is what most people say." Bertholdt rubbed the back of his neck, a light blush painting his cheeks. "It's been a passion of mine since I was young though. It's actually.. um, it's how Reiner and I first bonded when we met." He smiled to himself.

At the mention of Reiner, Armin's thoughts drifted to his own boyfriend. He looked down at his food and licked the excess cinnamon from around his mouth before biting into his tongue.

"I'd like to meet Reiner one day." Armin said, a sweet smile etching his features when he returned his gaze to the brunet.

Bertholdt's own smile grew. He nodded, before his eyes seemed to spot something on the other side of the room. Curiously Armin followed his gaze and realized he was staring at the clock posted up on the wall.

"Damn it." Bert muttered while adjusting his backpack. "I'm going to be late... um..." When he looked to Armin, the boy was sitting up in his chair with his elbows propped.

"I'll see you around, okay, Armin?"

The blonde nodded up at him. "Yep, sure thing." He uncrossed his legs and lifted his hand to wave. Bertholdt gave him one last look before turning on his heel and jogging passed towards the shop's back exit.

"Oh, and I almost forgot. Nice hoodie."

Now it was Armin's turn to blush. He licked his lips and waited until he heard the door open and close, then he reached into his bag for his phone.

* * *

  **[SMS from:** Sweetheart **]**   _Where are you? I miss youuuuu..._

 _'He's so cute...'_ Jean smiled, trailing his fingers over his phone's screen as he waltzed through the entryway of Einstein's Bros Bagels. The door shut behind him and he looked up from his phone, pocketing it in the back of his jeans as taupe eyes scanned the perimeter of the bistro for a certain blond boyfriend.

"Jean!"

Armin was posted at the rear, his fingers crooking to beckon the taller boy over. In front of him was a ceramic mug and a balled-up paper napkin, and he was licking the residue of a cinnamon bagel from around his little mouth.

Jean's smile grew as he paced towards him.

"Hey, gorgeous." He greeted, pulling out the chair opposite him and dropping down. Armin had a huge smile on his face as he scooted his own chair around the corner of the table, allowing him to sit a little closer.

The boy coiled his arms around him and gently brought him down, sealing a soft kiss on Jean's lips. "I missed you."

Jean was certain his cheeks were pink when he pulled back. He fought the urge to look away from him. "Missed you too, Armin..." He ran a few fingers through pale hair and when his eyes fell on the hoodie he was wearing, a grin claimed his lips.

"Nice hoodie." Jean ran his hands down the blonde's sides. "You know, I think it looks better on you than on me."

Armin pulled back from the embrace and sat properly in his seat. "Well naturally." He winked, a taunting smirk painting his features that made Jean blush and roll his eyes.

"Don't get cocky, kid."

Armin lightly stabbed his teeth into the tip of his tongue as not to laugh. He wrapped small hands around his mug and lifted it to his mouth, eyes slotting when he sipped the beverage.

"…Jean." He called to the taller male when he returned the mug to its place on the wooden table. "There's… something I need to talk to you about." His voice lost all traces of playfulness, which caused Jean to sober a bit. Arching a pierced brow, he inclined closer to the blonde.

"Is everything alright?"

As if on cue a small smile etched over Armin's lips and his hand rose, gingerly stroking the side of Jean's face. "Everything's fine, love." He assured him, his tone sweet. Jean tried  _really_  hard not to just melt at the endearing pet name, but it was hard, especially with Armin staring up at him with those baby blue eyes of his.

"It's just that…" He sighed softly, his hand lowering to his side. "My mother..."

' _Oh God.'_ Jean drew in a preparatory breath through his nose.

"She and Erwin are having dinner tonight. At their place." The blonde said. Jean could've sworn he heard a slight tremor in his voice, but he kept quiet about it. "She wants us to come. The both of us, together." He cleared his throat and sunk his teeth into his bottom lip, looking away from Jean.

Jean was certainly taken aback by the news, to say the least. His immediate reaction was to part his lips in surprise and blink, before he eventually asked, "Well what did you tell her?"

"I wanted to make sure you were alright with it first…" Armin shifted his eyes back to him, biting a little harder at his lip. "I think it'd be good for you to formally meet them. But you obviously don't have to if you don't want to."

Sighing heavily, Jean closed his eyes and weighed his options. He could go with Armin tonight – which undoubtedly was the most respectable choice – or he could stay home and perhaps catch a movie with Connie, which sounded  _far more_ appealing, by a long shot. The decision wouldn't be so damn difficult if he couldn't clearly see that Armin _wanted_ him to go, even if he'd said it was up to him. The blonde would probably judge him if he refused, and Jean didn't want to see him all dejected either. So without realizing, he said:

"If it'll please you, then I'm there."

Armin noticeably brightened at his words. " _Really_?" Without preamble the boy popped up and traveled the small distance to Jean's seat, settling comfortably in his lap and leaning into his chest.

"Thank you, thank you _, thank you_!" He hugged onto him tightly.

Jean's arms coiled around him as well and he lightly nuzzled the side of Armin's face. It was a damn shame how he turned to absolute  _putty_  around him; Armin could convince Jean to do just about anything, and he was sure he was  _very much_  aware of that fact.

' _Pitiful. I'm fucking pitiful…'_ Jean shook his head and made a light tsk'ing sound, just as Armin sat back. Oceanic eyes were on him whilst his fingers sunk into his hair, raking it back with tender strokes.

"You should probably slick your hair back tonight." He said, smiling lightly.

Jean fought hard not to close his eyes at the stimulation, but it felt  _so fucking nice._ His mouth opened a fraction but before he could speak Armin's hand had left his hair and he was detaching himself from his lap.

"Thank you again Jean. This really… means a lot to me." Armin returned to his own seat and sat down, glancing over at him with a smile. Jean reached out and poked the tip of the boy's nose with his finger.

"S'fine, Sweetheart." He shrugged, a small grin taking his lips as he retracted his hand. "I'd do just about anything for you, so…"

Armin's cheeks were rosy as he looked down into his coffee mug, not really knowing how to respond to his words. He just kept on smiling.

* * *

 

> _Thursday, October 6th, 8:28pm_

"So you're an art major?"

Jean's fork swam around in his pasta and Armin watched. He could blatantly see how anxious his boyfriend was feeling, and it upset him. He almost reached under the table to stroke his knee but his hand stayed in place when Jean began to speak.

"Yes sir. I am." He nodded, smiling tightly as he answered Erwin's question. "My dream's to own a gallery and sell my own pieces." With his free hand Jean reached for his glass of water. The way he was looking at it, one might've thought he hoped alcohol was there in its stead. Armin didn't blame him.

Nifa, who was sitting across the dining room table at Erwin's side, smiled as well. But it was clearly forced. "That's lovely." She said. "Art galleries are a rarity in these parts, you know."

"With good reason." Erwin sighed out, his head shaking a few times. "It's hardly any way to earn money. You seem intelligent. Why not go to law school?"

' _Not everyone wants to be you.'_  Armin's eyes narrowed as he took a small sip of his water. He glanced at Jean, whose smile had disappeared from his face.

"You sound like my father." He lowered his fork back onto the table. "Art is my passion. It's been this way my entire life and it isn't going to change anytime soon."

Nifa looked at Erwin a little desperately, and then turned her eyes on Jean. "Please pardon him." She laughed nervously. "He believes everyone in this world should be a carbon-copy Erwin Smith."

"That is not what I believe, dear." Erwin was staring at Nifa, his eyes unrelenting. "I just think the son of  _Klaus Kirschtein_ should be doing something better with his time than drawing pictures."

Armin could practically see the blood boiling in Jean's veins. He sucked in a breath and grabbed his wrist, tugging his hand down to hold his atop the table. He stared right into Erwin's eyes as he spoke.

"Jean is an  _amazing_  artist, and I really think you should get off his back." Armin stroked his thumb over the back of Jean's hand. He watched Erwin lift a forkful of alfredo noodles to his lips and avert his eyes.

Jean's gaze moved to their joined hands, and then he lifted it to Armin's face. "Armin…" His eyes widened as he turned his palm over and laced their fingers together.

"…Can we all  _please_  just eat?" Nifa's tone was slightly pleading as her hands rested on her stomach. "Little Violet seems to be getting restless…"

Erwin bellowed out a low chuckle and glanced over at his fiancée. "How can you be so certain it will be a girl?"

"Well…" The brunette woman smiled faintly and looked across the table at Armin. "I was able to tell Armin was a boy the moment I found out I was pregnant…" She shrugged her shoulders. "I suppose it's just a mother's intuition."

' _Sue me for finding it hard to believe you have a motherly bone in your body.'_ Armin's jaw clenched as he looked down at her bombous stomach. Something about the idea of a spawn between her and Erwin bothered him. It just didn't seem fair that this  _new baby_  would get Nifa's attention her entire life, when Armin only got it for less than  _half_  of his. An exasperated sigh escaped the blonde's lips and he pulled his hand back. He looked down. Suddenly, his dinner plate seemed excruciatingly more interesting than the goings-on at the table.

When his phone vibrated in his pocket some moments later, he blinked. Out of the peripheral of his vision he saw Jean smirking and his hands holding something beneath the table. Armin was confused as he – as discreetly as possible – tugged out his phone and glanced at the screen. But a huge smile claimed his lips when he saw the message waiting for him.

 **[SMS from** : Love  **]**   _It was rly hot of you to defend my honor like that, bae._

Armin's face began to heat up. He tongued his inner cheek and ran his thumb along the text. He was sure, in the past, if anyone besides Eren called him such a thing it would piss him off, but hearing it from Jean only made his insides burn hot. The need to kiss his boyfriend was pretty persistent in that moment, but Armin caught himself and remembered where they were (and who was sitting across from them). Slowly his neck tilted and he looked up, praying to the high heavens that his blush had dispersed.

"If you want to use your phone you should excuse yourself from the table."

A slight grin tugged at the corner of his lips. He couldn't help himself. The blonde peeked over at Jean, who had put his phone away and resumed eating his pasta. He could very much see the pleased look on his face, and that only made Armin snort in the back of his throat.

"Our apologies." His words were dry, and completely devoid of any actual remorse, and he made sure his parents knew it as he lifted his drink to his mouth. He watched Nifa and Erwin exchange a look, then they nodded and turned their eyes to Armin. The blonde inhaled sharply and sat his glass back down.

"Armin, there's something we need to tell you." Nifa tucked some of her hair back, and Armin caught sight of the mother of pearl earrings she was wearing. He also noticed the heavy diamond that adorned her left ring finger, and the boy nearly felt sick to his stomach.

"What is it?" He briefly locked eyes with Jean before looking back at his mother.

Erwin sat his fork down with a clank, his throat clearing. "Our wedding is in November, as you know."

Armin nodded slowly. Just being reminded of that event was enough to make him grimace, but he kept himself composed and simply took another small helping of his pasta.

"Well, to celebrate the joining of our families…" Erwin gave his fiancée a sidelong glance before he continued. "We'd like to give you something. A gift, of sorts."

Armin waited until he was completely finished chewing to speak "….Gift?"  _'Is the phone not enough?'_  "That is hardly necessary, Erwin, I—"

" _Please_ , dear." Nifa reached across the table to loosely grip her son's hand. "I'm your mother, and Erwin… he'll legally be your stepfather very soon."  _'That hardly makes us a family.'_ Armin bit back a sigh and cautiously retracted his hand from her hold.

"Let us do this kindness for you, alright?" The gentleness in his mother's tone had returned. Armin pressed his teeth into his lip. When he looked at Jean he immediately noticed the look of encouragement in his eyes, and he breathed in deeply.

"I suppose that'd be fine..." Armin agreed with a small shrug.

A smile took Nifa's lips and she clapped her pale hands together. "Alright then. Now…. I'm quite aware that living in a city like Trost can be financially….  _demanding_."

"Not when you've got a rich boyfriend." Came a cynical comment from Jean, who was smirking faintly as he patted Armin's thigh. The blonde couldn't help himself; he chuckled softly, covering his mouth with his hand and gently pushing at Jean's arm in a scolding manner.

"Jean,  _please_."

"You know I'm right, Ar."

Nifa and Erwin were clearly not amused by Jean's outburst. Both their expressions were blank – actually, Nifa looked a little mortified – as they stared across the table at the pair. Armin had to bite back a snort.

"You're quite funny." Erwin remarked, his angular face completely deadpan. Nifa was clenching and unclenching her fingers on the tabletop, sipping her wine with her other hand.

"Let us stop pussyfooting and just get to the point, hm?" Erwin's eyes bore into Armin's with intent. "Your mother and I… we'd like to give you an allowance, Armin." His lips spread into what seemed to be a feigned smile as he took another mouthful of his noodles. "A biweekly allowance that'll be directly deposited into your account. How does that sound?"

Armin's jaw went slack and his eyes widened. "Al….low…ance?" Well, it was certainly surprising, but he couldn't say it was unexpected. Once again it seemed Erwin and Nifa thought they could buy their way into Armin's heart, when all he really wanted was for them to care for him like  _actual parents_ were supposed to. But the more and more time he spent with them, the more incapable of that they seemed.

With a heavy sigh, Armin crossed his arms defiantly over his chest. "I don't need an allowance." His eyes narrowed as he looked away, but an immediate smile began tugging at his lips when he felt Jean's hand rubbing the ball of his shoulder.

"You've quit your job at that restaurant, right?" Erwin gave him a challenging look. "I think you do."

' _Oh_  hell _no. I will not be manipulated by this snake.'_ "I can just apply for another job if I need to. I can take care of myself, you know." His jaw clenched and his fingers curled into his thigh, lightly stabbing the clothed flesh with his nails.

"Remember you're a minor, Armin." Erwin sternly informed. "It's  _our duty_  to take care of you, at least until you turn eighteen next year."

Armin grimaced.  _'Take care of me? Really?_ ' It really was astonishing; how Erwin even had the gall to say such a foolish thing was beyond him. Armin didn't bother responding, he just occupied himself with pushing his pasta to one side of his plate with a clearly peeved look on his face.

Jean, meanwhile, was shaking his head and tracing his fingertip along the rim of his glass. "Heh, what a load of shit." He murmured almost inaudibly, but Armin heard him. For some reason, he wasn't as stunned as he should've been by the statement. Perhaps because he agreed with him.

"Excus _e_  you." Nifa's eyes narrowed in the direction of Jean's face. " _What_  did you just say?" She rose from her seat so she could lean across the table, but Erwin took her arm and gently brought her back down. "That was extremely uncalled for."

Armin momentarily shut his eyes and inhaled. "No, mother." When they opened again he glared right at her with fixed eyes. "Jean's totally right. It's about a decade too late to want to  _take care of me_." His gaze dragged to Erwin, and he made sure he knew the words were directed at him as well. "If I may, I'd like to be excused from this dinner."

Without waiting for a reply he dropped his fork and rose from the table, pushing his chair in a little harsher than he probably needed to. Jean followed his actions almost instantly. They spared no glances at Erwin and Nifa as they hurried out of the dining room, but Armin did flinch slightly when he heard his mother calling after him.

"Armin, wait!"

"Honey, let him go. You don't need to stress yourself out."

Armin bit  _piercingly_  hard at his lip as Eva, the housekeeper, led them through the foyer and out of the condo. Only when they were outside did the blonde realize Jean had been holding his hand the entire time.

"Armin…" Jean started, glancing down at him with a cautious look on his face. "Are you…?"

"D-Do you think I overreacted?" He sniffed, biting back a small sob as his gaze averted to the ground.

There was only a bit of hesitation before Jean wrapped his arms around him, bringing him into his chest and holding him there, firmly. He shook his head as his cheek nestled in the blond head.

"No I don't. I think… you did the right thing."

Armin keened into the embrace and placed his hands on the chest of his sweater. "Then why do I feel so foolish?" Slowly, he turned his eyes up to look at him, and only then did a few tears squeeze out. Jean frowned.

"Don't… ugh, shit, Armin…" He cupped his face with his hands. "They're the fools, for treating you like that. You deserve  _so much better_ , y'know?" He brushed the pads of his thumbs over his cheeks, doing his best to wipe away the tears. "Don't cry."

Armin breathed in and cuddled back into his arms. "M'sorry." Jean was  _so_  warm. So warm, and so soft. Just like his bedsheets, he remembered. He didn't ever want the embrace to end…

"Hey." Jean held him at the waist and pecked at the top of his head. Armin glanced up again, looking mildly annoyed that he'd robbed him of such comfort.

"What?"

"Let's get outta here." Jean smiled at him. "I'll treat you to a movie. Sound good?"

Moving one hand away from his chest, Armin tapped his bottom lip with his finger. "Hm… I think that sounds great." He giggled softly and tiptoed up, kissing his jaw as he offhandedly added, "Seeing as I'm broke."


	16. Public Service Announcement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know it's a huge no-no to post a chapter solely of an author's note but.. I felt like I owe it to the people who loved this story.

I suppose I should give a bit of an explanation about my absence. Firstly, all my content relating to this story (outlines, character profiles, chapters, etc.) got wiped when my old hard drive fried up way back when. So obviously I lost muse to write it. That, and I submerged myself in different fandoms for a while. I'm really sorry for the SUPER LONG hiatus. I know people love this fanfic (I do too -- like you have no idea. It's still my child.) But even though my interest is back in SNK, I can't write this. It's too hard when I'm starting from ABSOLUTE NOTHING. So here's the deal: I'm rewriting it. I'm not giving an exact time for the rewrite, because I myself am not sure. But it'll be easier for me to start fresh rather than editing every single chapter so heavily, since they all need it a lot. And besides that, there are a lot of things in CE that I wish I could change, concerning the characters and the plot itself.

I just love this story too much to let it go; and I really want to be able to write it again. But this is the only way. I'm sorry to people who were waiting on an ending for this particular story. All I can say is stay tuned for Circle's End 2.0. 

\- Kisses,

JeanKirsch / azxrae 

** if you'd like to talk to me personally about this, feel free to contact me on tumblr. My URL is the same as my current username here. 


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